Bullet Through An Ocean

I woke up to the sound of a baby crying coming from the nursery. Why were they crying? Looking over at my clock, I shot up in bed. Something strange was going on. The babies were never in the nursery at this time. They were always either in the kitchen having breakfast or in the playroom. They were on a strict schedule, what were they doing?

Without thinking, I rushed to the source of the wailing and found them both in their cribs, one of them still sleeping. Quickly, I pulled the blond child out of his resting place and attached him to my hip, carrying him out of the room so as not to wake his sister. He gripped my shirt and buried his head into my side as I carried him around the house, making the long journey to our parents’ bedroom. I couldn’t decide if they were smart or silly for putting the master bedroom on the opposite side of the house as the nursery.

“Where’s mommy, Kaiden?”

He cooed back at me and clung to me like his life depended on it. Had mom or dad slept in? That never happened; but why were the kids still in bed as if they hadn’t been woken up? Mom woke up with dad at seven in the morning. The kids were up and eating at seven fifteen. I woke up at seven thirty. Dad left for work no later than eight fifteen and I left for school at eight forty five. The house was completely silent except for the sound of my feet padding across the wooden floor. No one was up. This never happened.

We made our way through the glass door separating their side of the house from the living area and could hear the faint sound of an alarm going off. What was going on? Switching Kaiden to my other hip, I turned the brass knob of my parent’s bedroom door, slightly putting my weight on it to push it open. The room was empty. The bathroom was empty.

The entire house was empty save for Kaiden, Kailee, and I.

I put Kaiden into his highchair, setting his bowl of Cheerios in front of him before getting my phone from my room and going back into the nursery to wake our sister up.

They had gone out last night on their weekly date the last time I saw them. But they came home, didn’t they? I had put the kids to bed and talked to Peter until I had fallen asleep but I thought I had heard them come in. Mom and dad never stayed out all night into the morning without telling me and finding another sitter. Especially on a weeknight when we had school and work in the morning.

I lowered the gate to Kailee’s crib and rubbed her back, waking her up. She looked up at me and whimpered, wondering why I was there and not her mother. No one woke the kids up in the morning except for mother. They were just as confused as I was. Before I could stop her, the small blonde child started to cry, not accepting something out of routine. She shied away from me, moving to the other side of her crib, looking around me for any sign of the motherly figure she knew and loved. There was nothing I could to about it except to pick her up and bounce her up and down, lightly patting her bottom to try and cease her crying. Someone needed a change.

After changing her diaper, I brought her into the kitchen, doing the same as her brother. I grabbed an apple off of the counter, taking a huge bite out of it and grabbed my phone to call my parents. There was no note on the whiteboard indicating that they were staying away for the night. The kitchen had not been touched since I left it the night before.

My first call was to my mother, but there was no answer; the same for my father. Something was terribly wrong. It was eight o’clock now. I needed to start getting ready for school. I couldn’t leave the babies by themselves though. Wherever my parents were, they had to be home soon so I could leave.

At eight thirty, my phone still hadn’t rung. The door still hadn’t opened with the sound of my parents. The twins were in the playroom scooting across the floor while I tried my best to get dressed and ready as fast as possible. They had fifteen minutes.

Eight forty five.

Still nothing.

We were sitting on the floor of the playroom, Kaiden in my lap, hitting two blocks together. I wasn’t fully there. I was at the front door, listening to hear it open. I was by my phone, willing it to ring with them saying they got carried away and would be home as soon as possible.

Eight fifty.

The front door opened and I practically threw my brother to the ground, rushing through the house to find my parents.

“Karse?”

It was Peter.

Peter.

Not my parents.

He saw my distress and quickly engulfed me in his arms. My breathing was uneven. My heart felt like it was about to pump out of my chest. I could feel my blood coursing through my body at an unhealthy rate. I was dying, I was sure of it. Peter always knew what to do. He rushed into action, like the hero he was. I felt my wrist being gripped and my body being dragged someone. I couldn’t see. I couldn’t think. My mind was like a broken record, repeating that something was terribly wrong. My eyes clouded over, the stress on my body causing me to cry.

“Karson, you’re having a panic attack. I need you to try and breathe, please baby.”

I was set down in a chair in front of a window. The window was opened and I could feel the cool breeze hit my cheeks. It was calming, but not enough to pull me away from what was going on. A drawer was opened and then a cabinet. The faucet turned on. I tried to focus on what was happening around me, what Peter was doing. That was what I was told to do when this would happen.

“Tell me about Wanderer above the Sea of Fog”

It was my favourite painting. It was so simple yet so compelling. Peter was trying to distract me. He was getting so good at this; it made me sick. My mouth opened and closed a few times, suddenly dry. I tried as best as I could to describe everything about it. My voice was distant, alien like. Suddenly, he was in front of me. He grabbed my wrist, gently opening my palm and placing a small pill inside of it. I looked at him, blinking. His chocolate eyes were so gentle, so caring. I didn’t deserve someone like him. I brought my hand to my mouth, tossing the medicine to the back of my throat as he placed my palm against his chest. I had to match his breathing. A glass full of water was placed in my hand and I swallowed some, letting it carry the white pill into my system.

After a few minutes, my breathing calmed down and he grinned at me.

“Good job, Karse. That one didn’t last that long.”

Peter’s lips pressed against my forehead and he brought me towards him. I couldn’t fathom how a teenage boy could care more about if a girl was okay than about going to school on time to see his friends and mess around. Peter lived with all girls; his mom, his sister, and his niece. He was taught from a young age to care for the women in his life because it was all he had ever known.

“Babe, can you tell me what’s wrong?”

Blinking, I shook my head, at a loss for words. I didn’t know what was wrong. I didn’t have any idea what was going on. I was confused enough to last a lifetime. Suddenly, I remembered something.

“Kids.”

We jumped up and made our way to the room that held the children. They were fine. Kaiden once again was hitting blocks together; Kailee was sucking on her pacifier. As soon as she saw Peter, her eyes lit up, her jaw falling slack, and her hands shot up into the hair, opening and closing. Kailee loved Peter just as much as he loved her. Whenever he was over, she refused to be with anyone else. He grinned down at her and picked her up. Peter was going to be a great dad one day. I was going to be a horrible mother. I sat down next to the little boy as I watched my boyfriend of two years bounce my sister up and down on his knee.

“Where’s mommy and daddy?”

Even though he made it seem like he was asking the small child in his lap, the question was directed to me. I didn’t know the answer to the question I had asked myself a million times since I had woken up that morning.

“I- I don’t know.”

Peter stopped bouncing his knees and looked at me. He knew that was the reason for my panic attack earlier. I always knew where my parents were, especially when I was watching their children. Ever since I started kindergarten, my mom had been home when I went off to school.

“I called both of them. They didn’t answer.”

Kailee started to cry and he picked her up over his head, making his way over to me. The familiar fear started to creep upon me again. I was scared- so terribly scared. I felt his hand rub small circles on my back. I pulled the toddler in front of me to my chest, needing the comfort he provided.

As I cuddled up to my brother, I heard the boy next to me on the phone. He was calling his friend, letting him know that we wouldn’t be in school that day. I didn’t know why he felt the need to stay with me without asking, but I was grateful. I couldn’t handle this alone. Even though it was irrational of me to think the worst, he learned long ago not to try and reason with me. I couldn’t help the way I felt, the best he could do was to stay with me and distract me from the horrid thoughts racing through my mind.

I don’t know how long we sat on the playroom floor, my phone and the house phone by our side awaiting a call from my parents. Peter never left my side except when he felt the need to change the twin’s diapers. I tried to tell him that he didn’t have to, but he said that he was forced to change his niece’s and he was used to it. It was okay.

It wasn’t okay.

Nothing was okay.

Something was terribly wrong.

After what felt like days, the phone next to me rang. I picked it up and answered it before looking to see who it was.

“Is this Miss Taylor?”

“Y-yes.”

My voice cracked. This wasn’t my parents.

“I’m terribly sorry. There’s been an accident.”

My jaw went slack. The phone dropped from my hand. I was numb. I couldn’t panic. I was in a state of pure shock. Both kids started to cry. They could sense something was wrong. That their whole lives were changing in a matter of seconds. Peter picked the phone off the floor, speaking to the woman on the other line. He simultaneously tried to get the twins to calm down.

I stared at Kaiden, not being able to move to help him. Even though I loved Kailee with all my heart, Kaiden and I had a special connection. It was very similar to her and Peter’s relationship. We looked to each other for comfort, something you would think the two of them would do since they were twins.

The twins had light blonde hair, already covering their entire head. Kailee’s was curly while Kaiden’s stuck out in all different directions. His bright blue eyes stared at me, willing me to help him as his face turned bright red, tears dropping down to the front of his shirt. I couldn’t help him. I didn’t know how to. Kailee always did the same as her brother, if he cried, she cried. If he was happy, she was happy. They were both screaming, not listening to Peter trying to comfort them. Kailee wasn’t going to stop until Kaiden did.

Before I knew it, I was picked up and cradled into his chest. I gripped his shirt, not knowing what else to do. He didn’t know what else to do but to rock me back and forth holding me as tight to his chest as he could without hurting me.

“Peter…”

I cried out, my voice coming out as nothing more than a croak. He just shushed me, running his hands through my hair. A sob ripped through my throat and I buried my face into his chest, breathing in the faint smell of his cologne lingering on the fabric. I couldn’t do anything so I cried. I cried until I disposed my eyes of all the liquid they could hold. Even after that, I sobbed until my voice went hoarse. Why would someone take my parents from me? What the fuck was I supposed to do now?

What are you supposed to do when your entire world comes crumbling down around you?