The Past That Blinds (1 of 3)

As we climb the small rocky path up to the top of the valley the warm glow of the rising sun can be seen off in the distance to our right, the cool air of the peaceful vale soon to be missed in the heat of the day to come. I stop on a wider part of the path and look back to Rivendell

“Are you sure that this is what you want to do?” Lord Elrond asks me.
I nod “I can't stay, not with my head how it is, not with these memories. I think it is for the best.” I say adjusting my pack on my back.
“Very well, just know that you are welcome here whenever you wish to return, and you can stay for as little or as long as you please.”

I'm taken out of my thoughts as I hear Thorin Speaking. I smile as I see Bilbo standing next to me looking back also. “Come on Bilbo.” I say softly as I merge back into the line of dwarves. As I turn I halt a little as I notice Thorin stopping and looking back, but I quickly look to the floor to make sure I don't trip on any stones in the path. “Master Baggins. I suggest you keep up” Thorin says to the Hobbit. I breath a quiet sigh of relief that he wasn't going to make any comments to me. Between insults and being ignored, I prefer to be ignored. As for the confusing moment before we left, I still can't decide what went on there, was he being civil or does he just want someone to keep Bilbo out of trouble so they don't get into another mess like with the trolls..? ...Or... Dare I let myself think that he doesn't mind having me along any more..? I can't be sure.
The sun has risen by the time we get to the top of the path and starting to walk over the rocky and shrubbery terrain, through weathered and eroded passes and cliff edged hills through tall grass and up into the Misty Mountains.
By nightfall a storm had blown in, bringing heavy rain and thunder, causing the already treacherous path we were on to become worse with the strong winds and slippery rock beneath our feet and blinding our eyes. On multiple occasions loose rocks on the edge of the path broke away keeping us alert and cautious. It's hard to hear anything that Thorin is saying even when right behind him, but the hearing of dwarves is better than humans, and elves hearing is better than that of dwarves, but even then it's still difficult. The Thunder and freezing rain are making hearing hard and numbing our hands causing it to be harder to get a good grip. Suddenly Bilbo stands on some stones that give away under his feet causing him to nearly go over but thankfully he was pulled back. “We must find shelter!” Thorin shouts as he realises it's too dangerous to go on while in a storm There's multiple voices and then Dwalin shouts for everyone to look out. I look to where he and everyone else seem to be looking and there's a huge chunk of rock flying towards the mountain we're on. It hits the mountain and crumbles into smaller pieces that start to rain down on us. We all take cover as much as we can and thankfully none of us are knocked off the mountain by the debris.
“This is no thunder storm” I hear Balin say as he realises “It's a thunder battle. Look” he says pointing, causing all of us to look.
“Well bless me,” Bofur says sounding amazed by what we are seeing a giant, ripping off part of the mountain that it was seemingly sleeping on. “The legends are true. Giants, stone giants.” The giant throws the chunk of mountain and we watch as it hits another giant which is coming around the mountain behind us, the former cap or the mountain hits this second giant in the face, breaking up and scattering over the company as Bofur looks on amazed.
“Take cover you fool!” Thorin shouts as other dwarves grab Bofur and pull him back to safety out of the way of falling rocks breaking the path away as the debris fall right in front of us. But then something strange starts to happen, the mountain starts to move,, breaking apart down the middle separating the group into two. At that moments it's all too clear that we're standing on one of these giants. More bothered about keeping ourselves on the giant rather than falling a few thousand feet to the ground below we hold on as much as possible as a giant attacks the one we are on knocking it back onto the mountain. Taking the chance while we can the half of us quickly get off the colossus' leg, jumping as it starts to move, I look back as soon as I know I am on solid ground and look to the other half of the group still on the behemoth's other leg. We all stand up and while standing I realise that I had landed on Thorin when I had jumped and when I look back at him I see another giant making it's way towards the two that are fighting, holding another chunk of mountain. It throws it at the one with the other half of the company knocking it head off on impact and showering us with more debris so we have to run to the wall for cover, I'm surprised when Thorin protects me from the falling rocks, taking a couple of rocks to the back in my stead. When the rocks stop falling and we turn around the company fly by on the leg of the colossus as it staggers around struggling to stay balanced with no motor control. It's knee collides with the wall of the mountain with a heavy thud sending shock waves through the rock. “No!” Thorin shouts fearing the fate of his nephew and kinsmen. We watch the giant fall before running towards where it's knee collided “No, Kili!”
Once we get closer it's a relief to find them alive. I look at all their faces looking for Bilbo but I don't see him “Bilbo..?” I see Bofur and we both share a look “Where's Bilbo? Where's the Hobbit? There” he then notices him hanging off the edge of the cliff and Nori dives to grab him just as the Hobbit's grip fails, thankfully catching him, it's a struggle help him and he's unable to bring his arm up. Noticing this Thorin swings down and gets a foothold before grabbing the Hobbit, reacting a moment before I do. Bilbo now safely being helped up Thorin starts to climb back up but his foot slips, Dwalin grabs him and stops him from falling and being the only other person able to help I reach over and help to pull him up. Once he is safely not hanging over a cliff I go over to Bilbo who is a little panicked about his near death experience. “I thought we'd lost our burglar” Dwalin jests slightly to try and calm him down and lighten the mood, but Thorin, his pride being hurt from the fact he slipped or from the fact I helped him couldn't see the amusing side of the comment, instead his reply to the comment is that of “He's been lost ever since he left home” there's a small pause before he adds that “he should never have come. He and the elf have no place amongst us.” he says before calling Balin in to check out a cave. I pull an irritated face and have to hold myself back from making a comment. Damn stubborn dwarf... But then I realise I'm just as stubborn as him sometimes, but at least I know when to admit I'm wrong and apologise for mistakes I make, unlike him. The rest of the dwarves enter the cave when they get the all clear from Dwalin. Bilbo and myself stay outside to let the dwarves settle in and to let Thorin calm down a little. Bilbo enters before I do, I stay outside the cave in the rain for a little while longer before finally entering and seeing that they are all settling down to sleep or already snoring, I pick an unoccupied spot furthest away from Thorin and lie down.
I can't fall asleep, I'm too frustrated and over thinking, why did Thorin shield me from the falling rocks? Or was it the only space he could find in that short space of time? I don't think I will ever understand him, I doubt that I would ever want to. I realise that Bilbo has gotten up and started to leave when a surprised Bofur startles him and myself with his sudden question.
“Where do you think you're going?” There's a short pause before the Hobbit replies in just louder than a whisper
“Back to Rivendell” I get up quietly and gather my things while they are talking.
“No, no you can't turn back now, you're part of the company, you're one of us”
“I'm not though am I?” Bilbo says, half asking half stating. Bofur has been the most accepting of us both out of the lot of them combined. “Thorin said I should never have come and he was right. I'm not a Took I'm a Baggins. I don't know what I was thinking. I should never have ran out my door”
“You're home sick, I understand” Bofur says reassuringly but The Hobbit cuts him off
“No you don't, you don't understand, none of you do, you're dwarves, you're used to this life, living on the road, never settling in one place, not belonging anywhere..” He says trying to be quiet. Even though he wasn't saying it to me his words hit hard and I have a moment to think to myself. He has somewhere to belong, we shouldn't be dragging him around on a fools errand that'll probably get us all killed. There's a pause. Before he starts to apologise.
“No you're right, we don't belong anywhere” Bofur says turning to look at the sleeping company of dwarves. He turns back to the hobbit “I wish you all the luck in the world, I really do”
“He won't need luck.” I say walking up to them, they look at me a little surprised “He's got me, I made you a promise Bilbo, I keep my promises” I say smiling a little. Bofur looks at me understandingly yet I can tell he wants to protest “Good luck on getting your home back Bofur, take care of yourself”
“It's your home too no matter what you think.”
I smile “It may be where I was born and grew up, but... It's not my home, neither is Rivendell, I actually don't have a home. I don't belong anywhere, but you Bofur and the rest of you Erebor is your home, for Bilbo The Shire, Bag End is his home, if I have a home it's out there, roaming from tavern to tavern and causing the town drunk to loose their occupation” I chuckle a little bit “Don't worry about us, we'll be fine, go reclaim your home”
“It's not going to be the same without you two” he says looking a little upset that we're leaving, but smiling. I hug him and he and Bilbo pat each other on the shoulder as we start to turn to leave.
“What's that?” he asks, we turn around and Bilbo looks to his sword where Bofur is looking, I move back into the cave more to see that they are both looking at his sword which is glowing.
There's sounds coming from underground, a sound like metal straining and what sounds like sand falling before more metallic groans. “Wake up” Thorin says alerted to the sounds “Wake up” There's no time for much reacting as the floor moves sending us all down a painful carved slide bouncing from side to side as it winds down through the stone until there's a moment of no contact with the hard stone before falling down a small drop landing in a heap on a wooden surface, painfully before hearing the sound of goblins and shortly after I feel something hit me, blacking out.