Key to My Heart

"I'm moving. "I said again.
He stepped back,
"But what about us?"
"I'm sorry Andrew, there's nothing I can do. This is my dream, and I have spent too long sitting around being afraid to chase it, this time I'm going for it. I'm sorry. "

He shook his head,
"No, you should go for it, if I made you stay, I'd regret it for the rest of my life, you only get one chance to chase your dream, and if I stood in the way of that, I wouldn't be a good boyfriend."

I hugged him, "Your chance will come, and I'll be there for you like you're here for me."

He kissed me, "Go show California who their real American Idol is."

I turned and walked away.

-Andrew -
I had to do it.
I couldn't keep her from the only thing she's ever really wanted.
She was beautiful, ambitious, and headstrong, no doubt she'd go far.

I knew that I'd never get a chance at my dream, but it didn't matter, as long as Harley made something of herself, my dreams didn't matter.

I'd be that guy that could one day say, "Yeah, I knew that girl. She was great."

I was proud of her.
I always would be.

My life went on normally.
I never dated, because my heart went to California with her.

I became one of the working class, something I feared more than anything.
But it wasn’t that bad, except for the painful thought that this was going to be the rest of my life.

I’d heard that Harley got married about three years after she left Texas.
Good.
I was happy for her, she deserved nothing more than lifelong happiness, and I always knew I wasn’t going to be the one to give her that.

She was a girl with big dreams, and I was just her hometown sweetheart, that she used to know.
To say that I didn’t cry when I heard, was an understatement, but I really was happy for her.

It wasn’t six months later that I heard she’d gotten divorced.
I cried for her.

I finally got to see what she’d become when I was flipping through channels and saw her on MTV.
“Now with their new single “Key To My Heart”, Here’s Loved and Lost.”

Her hair had grown out, and she was inked and pierced.
She’d never looked better.

When she opened her mouth, I got chillbumps all over my body.
She was even more amazing than I’d remembered.
This was the voice that had sang next to me on so many drunken nights and car rides, the voice that had promised me my dreams, and her love.

I found myself crying, watching her.

I was so proud, but at the same time, so heartbroken.

When the song ended, she smiled,
“That song goes out to the one true love of my life back home in Texas. He’s the key to my heart, and I just hope that he knows I haven’t forgotten him, and that his dreams are not, and will never be, too far for him to reach.”

I sobbed, for the first time in years.

“I love you too Harley.” I whispered.

I packed up everything I had, and wrote a note to my mother:

Mom,
I’ve sat around for too long waiting for something big to happen, that I didn’t realize when it actually happened.
I have to go chase my dreams, because if I don’t make it, at least I can say I tried.
She’s the biggest part of my dream, and the miracle I let slip away.
I won’t sit and regret this mistake.
I’m going for it, all or nothing, balls out.
Please understand what this means to me.
I will come back to see all of you, but I can’t be here anymore.
I love you mom, take care of yourself, I’ll call you when I get to California.
I’m going to find my American Idol.

Love your son,
-Andrew

I boarded the first available flight to San Diego, and kissed my normal life goodbye.

When I looked out the window of the plane three hours later, I saw San Diego.
I was closer than ever to seeing her again.
I’d have my life back.
The life I’d let walk away three years ago.

When I got off the plane, I didn’t waste a moment finding her.
I used every possible resource I had, until I found myself standing at her front door, my hand hovering over the doorbell.
No, you’ve come way too far to chicken out now. She’s behind that door, now push the fucking button.
I didn’t think twice before mashing the button.

I held my breath and waited.

The door opened and there she was.
“Oh my god, what are you doing here?”
“You’re right, it’s never too late, or too far to reach for your dreams. The biggest part of mine is standing right here.”
She hugged me, “I’ve thought about you every day since I left.”
I held her tight and savored her scent.
“You did it baby, you ran away to California and made something of yourself. I just hope it’s as easy as you make it seem.”
“I told you, your chance would come, and here you are. Your chance is right around the corner, and I’m right here next to you every step of the way.”
I kissed her, and it was like no time had passed.
It felt like I’d just kissed her an hour ago.
It felt amazing.

“Come on inside.”
Her house was beautiful.
“This is amazing Harley.”
“I earned every penny that paid for it.”
“I’m really proud of you.”
“Good. You are one of the few people I wanted to make proud.”
“I’m glad you ran away. I’m glad I let you go, if I’d stopped you from all of this, I’d be a rotten, miserable human being.”
She kissed me, “You made my dream come true, We shouldn’t waste a second making yours come true.”

“Mom?”
“Hey, did you get there okay?”
“I did, and it’s beautiful.”
“Did you find her?”
“I did. She’s taken me in, and is going to help me make everything happen.”
“Thank her for me. And tell her that I’m proud of her. I’m proud of both of you. Now, don’t you waste a second, get right to work.”
“Thanks mom, I love you.”
“I love you too son.”

Harley took me around and met all her friends.
I played for some record company dudes, and they loved what I could do with a guitar.
I just had to find a band, because I never could sing for shit.

Six months after I got to San Diego, Harley’s bandmate and friend Matt stopped by.
“I’m leaving the band. My wife is having a baby, and I don’t have time to travel anymore.
I’m going to start producing instead. I want you, and nobody else to take my place. Plus, it would mean the world to Harley. She wants so bad to help you make this dream happen.
She wants you to be happy.”
“I’m honored man. I’ll do it.”

Harley was thrilled.

I wrote what would be the most popular song on our album, called “Chase The Dream.”
It was a hit.
I was finally successful, but Harley told me this wasn’t permanent.
“You’re not going to be in my band forever. This is not your dream, it’s mine, yours is to be in your own band, and you will. You’ll get your own spotlight and your own glory, and I’ll be there to cheer you on.”
I loved her so much.

Chase The Dream.

I never thought I’d see you walk away.
I miss you more every day.
But I know you’re happy out there.
I know you’re right where you want to be.
Even if it’s without me, but one day you’re going to see.
I’m gonna be there.
I’m going to stand beside you and hold your hand.
I’ll trade blowing dirt for white sands.
Just to be with you, I’d do anything.
You’re everything to me.
Life is more beautiful with you here.
I no longer have to live in fear, that what I was is what I’d always be.
You reached out and rescued me, and now you’re standing next to me.
The altar over heads, our families spread across the pews.
They were thrilled to hear the news.
I look at you and cry, cause I’m such a lucky guy.
I’ll never let you go, we’re gonna let the good times roll, and chase the dream until we’re falling apart at the seam.
I was the key to your heart, mine was yours from the start, and now we’ll always have each other.
The times will be hard, but I know we’ll stay strong.
I’ve loved you for too long to let us disintegrate, finding you was my lifelong fate.
So say I do and marry me, because yours is what I’ll always be.

We were married a year after I left Texas.
Our families were there, and it was beautiful.

I parted ways with the band three months later, and much to my surprise, I began singing in my own band, Light It For Her.

“You snore.”
“I do not.”
“Yes, you do.”
“Whatever.”
“I’ve known you a long time, you snore.”
“Yeah, because I’m tired.
“If that’s what helps you snore at night, okay.”
“Oh, nice one.”
“Thank you.”
“You two shut up and get packing.” Sam called.
We smiled at each other, and I was reminded again of what a lucky man I was.

“Don’t eat all the Doritos this time, kay babe?”
“I didn’t eat all the Doritos! You don’t like Doritos!” I called.
“Lately, that’s all I have wanted to eat.”
“You’ve gotten weird on me.”
“Am I still the same girl you let get on that plane five years ago?”
“Yeah.”
“Then what are you complaining about?”
I shrugged, and kissed her, “Nothing, you’re perfect.”

We were going on separate tours, for six months.
“I’ll miss you, have fun, and be safe.” She whispered against my lips.
“Same to you. I love you.”

She turned to walk away, and I felt myself tear up.
The only difference now, was she was going to pursue her dream, and that I was going to see her again.

I walked out on stage, guitar over my shoulder, and looked out at the crowd, and for a second, I remembered that two years ago, I was sitting at home, in this very city, playing video games, and thinking that I never stood a chance.
Then I came back down to earth, and realized that I was here. This was my dream.
And to think, I’d almost given up on it.

“What’s up Lubbock, Texas? Can I get some hometown love?!”
The crowd roared, and I felt something I’d never felt before.
Pride.
I was proud of myself.
For the first time ever, I was really proud of myself.

“This one is called Chase The Dream.”