Key to My Heart

After the show, all my old hometown friends met me backstage.
“I’m proud of you man, I knew you could do it.” Ernie said.
“Yeah, you’ve really come far, I’m glad you chased your dream. I’m glad you chased her.” Alex told me, smiling.
“Me too.”
“I’m glad you didn’t forget your friends back here in Shithole, Texas.” Marc said.
I laughed, “I could never forget the dudes that were there for me when I was at my lowest.”
“Where is she?”
“Illinois. Chicago, to be exact. They’re playing their last show tonight.”
“So she’ll be home when you get there?”
“Yeah. Her band is splitting, She’s going out on her own, starting a new band, Westwind.”
“I hope things work out for you guys.” Ernie said.
“Of course they will.”
“Do you regret it now?” Josh asked.
“Regret what?”
“The things you did to her when you first met. The way you treated her.”
“Yes, and I’d change it if I could, or maybe I wouldn’t, because none of that made her stop loving me, and look where I am today. I married her, we’re both successful and happy,
My phone dinged.

Text Message From: Harley:
I’m pregnant.

“And going to be parents.”
They all stared at me.
“This is what you wanted isn’t it?”
“Of course, but now that it’s happening, I’m getting scared again. I’ve done well so far, but there’s still a chance I could screw up.”
“Dude, at this point, you could shoot the president, and Harley would still think you hung the moon. Don’t go back to being that scared, lost guy you were before you left here.
Your life has begun, and if you retreat, it’ll move on without you. Embrace this, it’s a miracle. Give Harley our congratulations. We’re gonna get going.”

I stood on the stage staring out at the now empty amphitheater, “I don’t want to be that guy again, but I don’t think I’m ready for this.”
I jumped off the stage and ran.
I didn’t know where I was running at first, I just ran, until I found the familiar home.
I opened the door effortlessly, “Mom?”
My mother emerged from the kitchen followed by my niece and nephews.
“Hey sweetheart, what a lovely surprise!” She cried, hugging me.
“I’m scared mom.”
“What’s got you rattled honey?”
“Harley’s pregnant, I’m terrified. I can feel myself going back into my shell, and it’s scaring me.
If I go back to being who I was before, her life will keep going, happy and successful without me.
If I go back to that, I won’t be able to take care of my baby.
What do I do?”

She smiled, “Andrew, you had the courage to fall in love with someone you were afraid to love, you had the courage to let her walk out of your life, you had the courage to keep living after she left, even though you hated life without her. Son, you had the courage to drop everything you knew and run away to San Diego on a whim for her.
I have no doubt in my mind that you have the courage to be there for her, and take care of her and your baby. You’re strong, and so is she. I know what she’s been through, and I’m sure that after all that, she’s terrified too, but you both have to be strong and support each other. You have a checkered past on both ends, but that didn’t stop you both from wiping the slate clean and making a new life for yourselves. And now the life has brought you a new blessing. Embrace it, be brave. Don’t make her go through this alone.”

I hugged my mother, and then went to the aiport.
“First flight to Chicago.”
“Andrew, is that you?”
I looked up, “Jamie, wow, yeah.”
“I heard you finally made it big, congratulations.”
“Thanks.”
“I have to hand it to both you and Harley, you are one of the most talented and handsome men on the planet, and she is the most beautiful, talented woman alive, and I sure hope this ticket is to somewhere she is.”
I smiled, “It is. Thanks Jamie, believe it or not, my life might not have turned out like this if not for you.”

The plane ride drug so badly, that I began to think walking would’ve been faster.

I ran up three flights of hotel stairs and burst in the hotel room, where Harley was standing at the boudoir, brushing her hair.
Without a word, I hugged her and held her tight, “We’re going to be great parents.”

“You’re supposed to be on the way to Dallas.” She whispered.
“I had to see you. To tell you that everything is going to be fine, and that I love you very much.”
“A phone call would’ve sufficed.”
I shook my head, smiling, “No, with you, nothing is so trivial it can be explained over a phone call.”
She held me tight, “We’d better think of a name, or we’ll be arguing over who’s going to feed “It” at three in the morning.”
I chuckled, “What did you have in mind?”

Of course I was in a load of trouble for disappearing, but once I explained the situation, the boys were very understanding.

“Sophia for a girl. Landry for a boy.”

I woke up in the early hours of the morning and rolled over, only to find that again, I was alone.
Harley was in San Diego, decorating the guest bedroom for the baby, and I was in New York City, playing our last show of the tour.
I looked at the clock, and then picked up my phone.

It was only one in the morning back home, and I almost counted on the fact that Harley was still up.

“Why aren’t you asleep?”
“So much for Hello sweetheart, how are you?”
“I know its 3am there, what is wrong?”
“I can’t sleep, wanted to hear a friendly voice.”
“You’re thinking too much. Relax, clear your mind, have a shot of vodka, and go to sleep.”
“My mini-bar is dry, you know I can’t sleep when I think too much, and yeah, easier said than done.”
She chuckled, “Andrew, we’ve been through this, the baby, whatever it may be, is going to be perfect, and we’re going to make great parents.”
I stretched out on the bed, “Luxury bedsets don’t feel right if you’re not laying in them with me.”
“One more day. One more show, then you’ll be home. Hang in there. Now, I’m going to sleep before I fall over, and you should do the same. You’ve got a coliseum of fans to entertain tonight, and we don’t want you passing out on stage.”

I put the phone on the pillow, “Tell me you love me and goodnight, and then hang up, it’ll help me sleep.”
I heard her soft chuckle, “I love you Andrew, goodnight baby.”
I didn’t even hear the line click, before I was asleep.

The alarm screaming at me pulled me out of sleep.
The sun was shining through the windows, and the large hotel room was gone.
I was in a small blue bedroom with sharpie decorated walls.
I sat up and looked around.
“That was my alarm babe.”
I looked down, and there was a naked Harley, seventeen years old and as beautiful as ever.
“What’s it for?”
“Summer school. You can sleep in until I get back. I’ll only be an hour.”
She kissed me before putting her clothes on, collecting her bag, and walking out.

I laid back on the old creaky futon and looked around the room.
This is where it all started.
This is where Harley and I truly began, all those years ago.
I reached out and touched the empty space beside me.
“This is an oddly nostalgic dream.” I whispered.
I fell asleep on her pillow, smelling her scent of vanilla body lotion, sex, and coconut conditioner.

It seemed like a minute passed before I was awakened by her lips on my hair, and her sweet voice, “Hey.”
I smiled and pulled her into a kiss, “I love you.”
She looked shocked, but smiled, “You’ve never told me that before.”
“And now I won’t let another day pass without telling you. I’m not going to deny the truth anymore.”
She kissed me again, “I love you too.”

This time, the alarm was mine, and it was reality telling me that memory lane was closed.
I sat up and stretched.
I walked into the bathroom to start my shower, and saw a text on my phone.

Text Message From: Harley
When you wake up, go into the living room.
I love you.

I turned and walked into the living area of the suite.
I moved closer to the couch to find Harley sleeping soundly.
I kissed her, “Abra los ojos.”
She smiled, “Good morning.”
“When did you get here?”
“I wasn’t at home when you called me this morning, I was at the airport boarding a red-eye to NYC. You didn’t really think I was going to miss your first New York performance, did you? You’re insane.”
I smiled, “I missed yours.”
“I’ll have others, but I really wanted to be here for this one of yours.”
“I had a wild dream.”
She pressed her finger to my lips, “Shh, don’t tell me.”
She kissed me.

When I walked into the building, I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone.
“This is unreal.” I whispered.
“Oh, it’s real.”

“Hey Harley, when did you get here?”
“At 6am. I wasn’t missing your big NYC performance.”
“Congrats on the baby.”
“Thank you Ethan.”

“So rockstar, do you think you’ll be able to handle this?”
I was standing center stage, staring out at the huge, empty amphitheatre, and Harley was beside me, holding my hand.
“Now that you’re here, I can do anything.”
“You’re such a hopeless romantic.”
“It’s recent.”
“Really?”
“As of the moment I met you, yes, I was a hopeless romantic, I just spent too much time worrying about everything to show it.”
“I wish I could say the same for my first husband. He didn’t have a romantic bone in his body.”
“You’ve never talked about him, what was he like?”
“Musician. I seem to be a sucker for guys with guitars, he was from San Diego, and he was a busy man. Much too busy for his new wife, who spent all her time making excuses for why he wasn’t around to take phone calls, or attend Christmases, birthdays, and dinners.”
“What was his name?”
“Christopher Cruz.”
“Harley Cruz. I don’t know if that’s got a good ring to it.”
“It doesn’t. Believe me, it never did. That was a dud from the start. I’m just glad I have you now.”
“Yeah, I like Harley Valentino better.”
She kissed me, “Me too.”