Endless Love

I sat in my room, on my bed, leaning against my comfortable pillows, just staring off into space. I was wondering what that kiss had meant. Was it just casual, saying he wanted to hook up, or did it mean something? Perhaps he had feelings for me. And yet, I doubted that considering we had just met a few days ago. This was ridiculous! Why was I even thinking about this? I hate him. And yet, something deep inside of me stirred at that thought, and I knew that hate was no longer the word I could use as my feelings. As much as I hated to admit it, Fallon had gotten under my skin.

I was debating on turning on the television to surf through the channels, to see what was on at two in the morning, when my door was soundlessly cracked open. I stared into my brother’s guilty face, waiting for him to speak first, as I knew he would.

“Can I come in?”

My stomach clenched with fear, but I tampered it down. He would explain that this was all just a misunderstanding that he was sorry, and we would go back to living our lives. And besides, there was no reason to be afraid of my own brother, right? I sure hope so.

I didn’t answer, so he took it upon himself to stand in the doorway, not coming in, but not staying out. He rubbed the back of his neck before dropping his hand to his side. For a minute he stood there, not saying a word, as if he were bringing his thoughts together. I waited for his apology, for this to all go back to normal.

“Look,” he finally began, “I’m sorry. Sis, I … I didn’t mean to hit you, I truly didn’t. I reacted. I thought you were one of the guys attempting to pull me off, not to mention I wasn’t really listening. I just had these thoughts in my head, about what had happened before, you know? I didn’t see you having fun; I didn’t see you at all. All I saw was rage when I saw that guy all over you. I thought…” He paused, rubbed the back of his neck again. It was a sign showing he was nervous. “I just wanted to save you. I wasn’t able to last time. I’m sorry, I really am.”

“Is that all?”

He looked appalled, as if he couldn’t believe that I’d ask such a thing after his huge speech. But then his face softened when I held out my arms. He came forward, enveloping me in a hug. It was comforting, and yet at the same time, I felt odd. For some reason, I couldn’t shake the fear that kept crawling back every time I attempted to shove it away. It was true that a lot had happened today; the guy on the news, the party, Fallon, the kiss, and now this. Drama appeared to follow me everywhere. Maybe tomorrow, the drama would die down and I’d have a normal life again.



Or maybe not. When I walked into school the next morning, everything felt normal. There were no stares, no glares. Actually it was weird; no one was giving me the time of day. There wasn’t even a single “hi” headed my way. Something was off, but was it?

Maybe I should be happy over the fact that no one was giving me crap, that I could finally be at peace for once in my life. But it was too strange. I walked down the hall to my locker, becoming studiously bored. Is that weird? That I’d had so much drama in my life that now that it’s suddenly gone, I feel empty? Yes, perhaps it is weird. Maybe I needed a life.

I did the combination on my locker, opened it and then stared blankly at my books. Where was Fallon? I was actually surprised that he hadn’t greeted me this morning. His car had been gone from his house when I’d woken up, causing an unsettling wave of disappointment to wash through me. What’s more unsettling is the thoughts that kept me up last night. What if the kiss was a mistake? What if he thought I was just a casual hook up that he would just leave afterward? Maybe he regretted the kiss. My locker was slammed shut, jolting me from my thoughts.

“Hey,” Tabitha said, at my side. Her eyes scrutinized me, concern entering them. “What’s wrong?”

That’s when I relayed my story to her. From the party, to Austin, to the kiss, then back to Austin and finally my worried thoughts.

“So you don’t know where he is?” I shook my head, the thoughts suddenly transpiring again. “Stop it!” she snapped, automatically reading me as if I were an open book. And maybe I was. Who’s to say my thoughts weren’t being projected for the whole world to hear them? “Okay. First we find this guy, whoever he is, and when we do, you are going to go up to him and give him the best kiss ever! If he rejects you, then you’ll know that it was a mistake. If he kisses you back, then there’s some feeling involved. Now, if he puts his arms around you, glaring at the whole student body, then that means he thinks of you as his.”

First, after she said this, I just stared. Second, I waited for the ground to open up and swallow me, just as it had happened on the news not too long ago. And third, I stood there, speechless. “This is what you get for not telling me that you were crushing this hard on someone,” she muttered in response to my silence.

“I didn’t even know until yesterday!”



School was over, and we hadn’t found him all day. He wasn’t in any of my classes or anything. Tabitha was slightly pissed at me because I didn’t tell her that I was crushing on anyone, but in my defense, I didn’t even know until two in the morning, so she was the first one I actually told! I apologized profusely to her and promised that I would buy her some of her favorite ice cream – Rocky Road – the next time we were out. She relented. Now that we had come to that agreement, I was going to go to Fallon’s house and knock on his door.

I stood there, in front of his door, hesitating. What if he answered and didn’t want me there? What if he wasn’t home? Or better yet, what if they moved? I glanced behind me, into the driveway and saw his car. That idea was gone now.

The door swung open before I could knock on it, and I was face-to-face with a thin, very pretty blonde girl. Her wide eyes narrowed into slits and before I could explain myself, she spoke, “Who are you?”