Intoxication

Jin Ae's knuckled rapped against the door and the detective silently waited. The door opened and Junsu stepped inside to let her in.

“Long day?” he asked and Jin Ae sighed.

“You have no idea,” she replied, taking off her leather coat to lay it on a chair in the living room.

“Well, lucky for you, I bought something just for you.” He grinned and slid into the kitchen.

Jin Ae sat down heavily on the couch and leaned her head back against the back rest. Junsu emerged from the kitchen with a bottle of wine and two glasses. Jin Ae looked at the bottle longingly and held out her hand. Junsu smiled and handed her a glass before taking a seat next to her.

“You wanna talk about your day?” he asked, pouring her the alcohol before himself.

“You're not my therapist, Junsu,” said Jin Ae and she took a sip of her wine. It was incredibly dry, went down slowly, made her wince. However, when it came to wine for Jin Ae, the dryer it was the better. Obviously, Junsu knew that.

“I practically am. Just tell me how its going.”

“I was removed from the UKnow case.”

“That's not really a bad thing.”

“Yes, it is!” Jin Ae argued. “No one else can handle him, but me.”

“Maybe. Maybe not,” said Junsu. “Maybe this is what you need.”

Jin Ae ignored that statement and went on. “And I got a new partner.”

He blinked at her. “What about Changmin?”

A deep exhale left Jin Ae's body, one filled with stress and uncertainty. “Chief said he might choose not to come back. And...honestly, I wouldn't blame him if he didn't. Dammit!” She rubbed furiously at her face. “I just don't know what to do anymore! Everything's so damn...confusing and shit!”

“I know...”

Silence fell between them for a while. Jin Ae was pondering the weight in his answer. There seemed to be more there than just a simple agreement. “Junsu.”

“Yeah?”

“Why did you stay?” Jin Ae asked, her eyes filled with a sadness that gripped at his heart. “Can you really still love me after everything I did, after I used you?”

Junsu's face was open, sincere when he spoke. “Yes. I can still love you.”

“Why?” Jin Ae demanded. “I don't feel the same way back! Why do you torture yourself like this?”

A sad smile came to Junsu's lips. “Because that's what love is. You love someone no matter what they do to you. No matter how many times they crush you heart, you can't stop.” To his surprise, Jin Ae's eyes began to brim with tears. She didn't turn her head away like she would have usually. Junsu, worried, wrapped an arm around her. “Don't cry, Jin Ae. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I'm sorry.”

Jin Ae shook her head and looked at the wine glass cradled in her hands. Her chest felt like it was filling with the tears of guilt she refused to shed. “Its fine.” She took a long swig of alcohol to choke down the knot in her throat. “I just...I don't know what to do anymore.”

“What do you mean?” Junsu asked, rubbing her shoulder.

“I...I don't want to love you back,” she answered, “but you make it hard.”

Junsu removed his touch and scooted away. “I'm not trying to pressure you.”

Jin Ae said nothing. Her dark eyes locked onto the nearly clear liquid in the glass. Her mind was begging her to think logically, to focus on the wall she'd been building up for years. Remember the friendship Junsu and she shared. But her heart was on a different page entirely; and it was more than just the wine. Junsu had been her pillar for years. He loved her despite her flaws; had a deep, undying devotion to her that made her want to crumble with guilt because she didn't return it.

But when she removed one brick from that inner wall and peered through, everything looked so much better on the other side. More and more bricks began to fall until it was all too evident.

Jin Ae's eyes flickered to their corners, looking at Junsu who was swirling the wine around in its glass, a look of distance and deep thought on his face. Slowly, the wine glass in her hands rested on the coffee table.

“Junsu?”

His head turned to look at her and the look in her eyes was different. There was no guarded glances, only open depths of pitch that almost scared him. Because there was pain there. And loneliness. There was a plea in those obsidian orbs that Junsu understood by some sort of unspoken communication.

In one motion, he had leaned over and pressed his lips to hers. A soft caress of delicate skin against delicate skin. Jin Ae reacted back at once, running fingers through his dyed hair and clutching at the short fibers. Years of restraint broke at the action and Junsu moved his hands beneath her sweater, warm hands against smooth skin. They found the line of scar tissue, but Jin Ae didn't react, too involved in moving her lips against his. And Junsu knew that she was serious.

Their breathing intermingled; Jin Ae bit his bottom lip, producing a groan from a firm chest.

“Bedroom?” Though Junsu was intoxicated with the proximity of Jin Ae's body, he still had enough sense to make one final affirmation in case she wished to back out.

The whisper, breathless, that left Jin Ae's lips made chills crawl down his back. “Yes...”

Junsu rose from his position over her and pulled her with him, trying not to break the connection of their lips, afraid that if they separated, things would come to a shattering halt. Legs wrapped around a sturdy torso and he rushed them to the bedroom, her arms encircling his neck as lips stayed against his. It was quick, removing the barriers between them. When skin met skin, it made Junsu's heart thunder in his chest. His head grew light as if drunk, skin afire as his mouth grew fiercer against Jin Ae's. There were no more doubts, no more holding back.

He was going to prove how much he loved her, without words.



Sheets intertwined between their legs. Bodies lay as close together as possible, facing one another. His slim fingers ran through her dark hair as she slept. He was almost in awe at how peaceful and serene she looked in sleep. There was no hardened expression as she resided in dream land, curled next to him.

Junsu couldn't sleep. Too many thoughts. Too many doubts had returned. Would she turn away from him when the sun rose? Did she regret it? Was this another way for her to gain a form of emotional stability?

He should have given her more of a choice. They shouldn't have rushed into it. But his desires had gotten the best of him and he plunged in without much thought.

“What are you thinking about?”

Her voice startled him and he looked down at her. Her eyes were still closed, fingertips running over his chest and abs.

“Us,” Junsu answered quietly.

“What about us?”

“Just that...Is there really an us?”

Her finger ran down the crease between his pecs, the warm breath from her lips blew against the bare skin. “Yes...”

“Why the change of heart?”

Jin Ae smiled slightly and kissed his throat. “Because you're irresistible.” Then, her face grew more serious. “I'm alone, Junsu. I made myself that way, but you...you never left me. You protected me when you could, you loved me no matter what...I was an idiot.” Slowly, her eyes met his. That same openness lingered in those black orbs. However, the pain was gone, replaced with affection and a passion that lit those dark depths. “I love you.”

Three words, eight letters. So simple, but the very utterance of them made Junsu's heart slam against his ribcage. His hands shook as they cupped her face, running thumbs over high cheekbones. “I love you too.”

And he kissed her again. This time, there were no more doubts.