Don't Speak, Liar

Where do you see yourself in five years?
I honestly have no idea. It’s kind of scary, not knowing. But at the same time, I love it. I love how spontaneous and unpredictable life can be, for better or worse. Well, [laughs] mostly for better. Hopefully I’ll still be playing music, doing what I love, spreading joy. It may sound cheesy, but that’s what I want: to play my guitar and make others happy.

Have you always wanted to play music?
Actually, no. I wanted to be a fashion designer until I was sixteen.

Have you ever thought of doing both?
It crossed my mind, but it seems really unrealistic to me. My designs sucked. I’d rather sing, it’s more my thing.

When do we expect new music out from you?
Very, very soon. I’ve been in and out of the studio like crazy. I’m really hoping the reaction to my new stuff is going to be similar to previously. I’ve worked so hard on it, and, in my opinion, some of my best material is on this cd.

So, it’s not an EP? It’s been rumored that it is.
[laughs] I guess the secret's out! Sorry Hopeless!

Favorite song to play live?
Sanctuary, probably. The crowd reacts so well to it. I think it’s a beautiful song - I promise I’m not cocky or anything - and the fans seem to think so too. But some of my more upbeat songs are pretty fun, too.

Biggest misconception of touring?
Wow, there are seriously so many. I used to think, back when I was younger and much more naive, that every band got a tour bus. Unfortunately, this isn’t true. I’ve been van-ing it since I’ve started touring, and it sort of really sucks. Luckily, with this tour, I get a bus. But I’m sharing it with another band.

Do you know who they are?
My guess is as great as yours. Hopefully there is another girl on the bus, so the testosterone level is a little lower.

How is it being the only girl on tour?
It’s not really that bad, honestly. I think the worst part is when it’s my time of month, because boys are like ‘holy shit, what is this?’ which is actually really funny. But it’s nice to have female companionship, ya know?

For the rest of this interview, head on to Buzznet!

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I read the intro to my Buzznet interview a few more times before carefully shutting my Toshiba. “You know, this interview isn’t so bad,” I shout to my manager, Shaun.

I’ve never been good at handling interviews. I’m a tad bit on the awkward side, and being put on the spot has never been appealing to me. Yet, I love interviews. I love hearing feedback and answering questions for the fans. I want people to know who I am, the story behind me and my music. I want to be true to everyone, and I want people to love me for me, not for who I’m rumored to be.

“I know,” Shaun calls back. “I looked at it earlier. At least it wasn’t a video.You would’ve been all over the place. We really need to work on that.” He appears in the doorway, a sympathetic smile on his face. His right hand holds a red toothbrush, wet from the use just moments ago.

Shaun has been my friend since we were young. His dream has always been to become a rapper of some sort, but, unfortunately, rapping isn’t exactly his forte. He’s as awful as Blood on the Dance Floor on a good day (if they’ve ever had one). He and I have never talked about it, and since he’s stuck taking care of my ass, I think he’s realized that a rapping career is as likely to happen as him winning the lottery.

I feel really bad because he’s sitting back, watching my dreams come true, while his aren’t. It’s something I’m constantly thinking about, wrestling around with the thought if I should feel guilty or not. I know I shouldn’t be, but there are some things you just can’t help.

“You can’t cure the socially awkward,” I laugh. Shaun nods before disappearing again into the bathroom of the apartment we both share.

I walk inside my bedroom and towards my closet. I have a meeting with the band I’ll be sharing my tour bus with this summer in about an hour. I have no idea who they are, which causes a butterfly mosh pit to assemble in my stomach.

I pull out a grey v-neck, but immediately hang it back inside the closet. I pull out a few more of my multitude of v-necks, but I’m not satisfied with any of them, so I carelessly set them all back, just like before. I come across a few band shirts, but I don’t stop to look at them. How awkward would it be to sport a shirt of the band you’re going to room with for the next few months during the first meeting? I’d seem like such an immature, unprofessional fan girl. After a few more moments of searching, my fingers feel the soft denim of my favorite button up shirt. It’s mid sleeve, a soft blue, and fits me in all the right places. It’s a bit old, but without a doubt my favorite item in my closet. I pull it out and set it on my bed.

I move over to my dresser, open the first drawer, and pull out a yellow tank top. I throw that on my bed and search my floor for a pair of jeans. Once I’m satisfied with my options, I try on my new outfit and check myself out in the mirror.

My hair is a little messy, and my leftover makeup from last night is a little smudged, but that can easily be fixed. My newly assembled outfit looks comfy and professional enough for the brunch. I smile at myself in the mirror, exposing my pearly whites. I’ve always put great pride into my teeth.

It takes me about a half an hour to complete my appearance. When I’m finished, I head back to the living room, where Shaun is waiting for me on the couch. He’s whistling a Good Charlotte song to himself and flipping his keys around in his hand. “Ready?” He asks, smiling as his eyes rest on me.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” I smile back. Shaun gets up from his seat and we head outside to his old, beat up car. As usual, he drives and I get shotgun. I slip inside the car and buckle up. “Are you sure you don’t know the name of the band?”

“No,” He sighs, “nobody told me. Let’s just hope they’re friendly enough for us.” He offers me a reassuring smile as he starts the car. “It’ll probably be some really hot band you’ll be drooling over. Warped has some pretty good talent this year, too. So it’ll be cool to bunk with some super cool, underrated band.”

I nod, tuning him out as a Breaking Benjamin song murmurs quietly through the car speakers. Shaun drives as best as he can in the busy New York streets. After about thirty minutes of busy traffic and careless pedestrians, we park at the Applebee’s we were supposed to be at twenty minutes ago.

I unbuckle my seatbelt and wait for Shaun to undo his. When he doesn’t, I eye him skeptically. “You coming?”

“Actually, I’ll be like five minutes. I really need a smoke break.” I roll my eyes at him, but nod. I don’t say anything, just get out of the car and stumble into the restaurant, embarrassed of how late I am.

Inside is a little busy. There are at least four large families occupying tables, and booths are filled with older couples holding hands and eating silently. I look around the restaurant, hoping to find a familiar face. In the very back corner, I see a few guys occupying one of those half tables, half booth things. Before a worker can approach me, I shimmy back there, dodging careless children. As I get closer to my destination, realization kicks in. I see the faces of a band I’ve never met, but of one I frequently listen to. The boys who make up We Came As Romans are just a few yards away from me.

They’re all occupying their cell phones and making small talk with one another. My pace slows a little, and the butterfly mosh pit returns. I wonder if they know who I am, and if they like my music as much as I like theirs. I wonder if they’ll think I’m cute, or if they’d like to get to know me during this tour. So many questions invade my mind, it’s hard to think straight.

Finally, one of them notices. “Hey, she’s here!” Andy shouts, pointing his left index finger my way. My cheeks flush a very noticeable red as I approach the table. All the boys look up at me with cheeky smiles.

I let out an awkward wave. “Hey, sorry I’m so late. Traffic was a little crazy.”

The boys nod. “Totally understandable. I can’t say it hasn’t happened to me before,” Dave says. He pats the seat next to him, motioning for me to take a seat.

I analyze his smiling face before sitting. He’s so cute, cuter in person than in photographs.The whole band is more attractive than I originally thought. Dave’s smile is warm and contagious. I sit next to him and glance at the other boys.They all look interested in me, and their eyes make me nervous.

“I’m glad I know who you guys are. The whole way here, I was nervous it’d be some band I didn’t know and we’d start off on the wrong foot and this would all be a huge mess,” I admit.

“I don’t know who you are,” Andy admits. “I’ve seen your picture in the same issue of a magazine as us, but I’ve never heard your music.”

“You are really pretty though,” Dave pitches in.

My blush becomes more apparent. “Thanks,” I laugh. “Our music isn’t very similar. Not at all, actually. I’m more of an acoustic set, but I have a just as solid fan base as you guys.” They all nod, and we glance at one another, sometimes making eye contact, sometimes not.

Shaun comes walking in then, smelling like those cheap cigarettes he always smokes. “Sorry we’re late, guys! Definitely not going to be happening on tour.” He sits down in the only available seat - next to Kyle Pavone. When I see him, I’m filled with mixed feelings of lust and curiosity.

Kyle is gorgeous, there’s no denying that. His freshly cut hair highlights his breathtaking face. His chocolate brown eyes are gentle, and the way they bore into mine makes me feel like he believes there could be some chemistry between us. His Detroit Red Wings shirt makes him look especially cute, even though I’m a Blackhawks fan myself.

But I am drawn away, because there are rumors about him. I’ve heard some of the worst things, like that he’s a manwhore who has no idea how to treat a lady, and that he’s arrogant and rude and has no respect for anyone. By the end of the summer, I hope for him to either confirm or deny these rumors without me having to ask him about it. I don’t like judging people off of rumors, but it’s hard not to.

I was already excited for my summer at Warped, but knowing that I’ll be sharing with a band whose music I love adds the cherry to the perfect summer. It seems like summer can’t come fast enough.