Don't Speak, Liar

I tuck a sweaty strand of hair behind my ear, smiling at a fan, Jessica. “How did you like the show?”

She smiled wide, her own hair a sweaty mess from being in the pit all day. “It was absolutely fantastic, you’re my favorite singer here! I wouldn’t ever miss a show,” She gushed. She’s so sweet, my fans are so loving, and I’m so thankful for that.

“Thanks!” I said, pulling her into a hug. We talked a little longer. She told me her favorite songs, and we talked about how she likes the Acoustic Basement tent more than the regular ones since it’s so intimate. I agree with her, to an extent. The tent I’m in is much cooler, and it’s easy to meet the fans after. But a regular stage offers more viewers, a bigger chance to be noticed. I also don’t get my own merch tent, I just get my merch out on the table in the back while I preform. Still, I’m thankful for it. I’m at Warped Tour, and that’s an honor.

Jessica leaves with a new shirt from my table, and I talk to a few other fans. Each are just as nice as Jessica. When I’m finally finished, I look over at Shaun, who’s wiping sweat from his forehead. “What time is it?”

He looks at his watch. “3:46,” He says. “William Beckett is the next guy up here. Do you want to stay?”

I shake my head. “I think I’m going to walk around some, do you want to come?” Shaun shakes his head no, and I tell him that I’ll see him in a while. I take the map and schedule somebody left on the table and scan it, looking for the band I want to see. At the main stage, We Came As Romans is playing, and they won’t be over until a little after four. Part of me wants to check them out because I’ve never seen the band perform before. I decide not to go though, because I’m worried the boys will see me as clingy. I figure maybe I should wait a day or two to see them; I’d like to see a full set anyway. I look over the list a little longer, finding a band that captures my attention most. I decide on Issues. I absolutely love the band, and all the members are really cute. Also, the stage isn’t very far from me.

The walk to the stage doesn’t take very long. Nobody stops to talk to me, which doesn’t surprise me - I’m not a popular musician. When I get to the Monster stage, I show the security the necklace with my ID, and they let me in right away. There aren’t any other musicians side stage, from what I can tell.

Bands are great to watch, they can all move around and interact with everybody and be crazy. There are multiple guys, so something will always be happening. Solo acts don’t really get that. I can try to keep my sets entertaining, but I’ll never put a show on like a band. As I watch the band, I’m interested, but also deep in thought, comparing my set with theirs.

I feel a weight on my shoulders, which snaps me out of my trance. I look to my right, seeing Kyle looking straight ahead at the band, but his arm is slung across my shoulders. I look at him, amazed. I hardly know him, and he’s under the impression that it’s okay to touch me. He looks at me after a few moments. “Hey, Morganne.”

“Uh, hi Kyle,” I laugh, “Did your set end early?”

He shakes his head. “We were right on time, maybe you lost track,” he teases. I shrug. Maybe he’s right.

Issues finishes up their last song, and when they exit the stage, Tyler stops in front of us. “Kyle! I didn’t even know you’d be here!” The boys laugh and I smile awkwardly, immediately feeling out of place. Kyle removes his arm from my shoulder and walks with Tyler, but he tugs on my elbow, motioning me to follow. I trail alongside, listening to the boys talk. We exit the stage and meet with the rest of the Issues members.

When everybody is together, Kyle says, “This is Morganne. Morganne, these are the guys.” Everybody greets me with a smile or a wave. I awkwardly say hello back, trying to put on a confident smile. The band seems very welcoming and accepting, even though they don’t know me.

“What are you doing later? I was thinking maybe we should get together and drink. It’s been a while since we’ve all partied together,” Tyler says, looking at Kyle.

“I don’t know what we’re doing,” Kyle shrugs, “but we’ll definitely head over to your bus a little later.”

The boys composing Issues disperse after a little more talking, and soon it’s just me and Kyle. “Who’s we?” I ask, looking over at him. I’m sort of excited - did he mean me? Was he trying to include me in his plans because he likes me? It would make sense with the arm over my shoulder earlier.

“My band and you, of course. If you weren’t invited, I’d probably get shit from the guys. They like you, you know.” I try to keep my smile from faltering. He’s just inviting me because everybody else likes me, not because he does.

“Do you like me?” I ask. I start walking, and he follows. I decide to go to the bus so I can cool off; it’s such a hot day. I’m also a little upset with myself from getting my hopes up with Kyle. I hardly know him, and I know all the rumors. They’re probably all true.

“I don’t dislike you,” He responds, staying right by my side. “You seem pretty chill and cute and all, but I don’t want to say you’re absolutely fantastic when I don’t know you,” Kyle shrugs. He doesn’t say more, and that’s that. We just walk in silence. When we get towards the buses, I look around. I’m not sure where our bus is. I stop as I look, but Kyle continues, turning to the left. I follow him.

Soon, I’m in an airconditioned bus. It feels so cool against my sweat-coated skin, and I have access to hair ties so I can pull my hair up. I shout hello to check if anybody is in the bus, but nobody is. I’m not very surprised. Kyle throws his sweat covered shirt onto the couch, exposing his chest to me. I smile a little and head to the bathroom to get a hair tie. I pull my hair up and then head to where the bunks are so I can grab my notebook.

I haven’t been writing songs as often as I should, especially with an album coming out soon. I’ve been so caught up in myself and the excitement of tour that I haven’t thought much about my new album. I grab my notebook and a pen from my bag, and debate if I want to get in my bunk or go on to the table of back lounge. My bunk is hot, and all of the boys are messy and left their marks in the back, so I just go to the table in the front. Kyle is sitting there too, eating a bowl of Fruit Loops.

“What are you doing?” He asks with a mouth full of cereal.

“I’m going to try writing a song. It’s been a while and it’s easiest for me to write when it’s quiet,” I explain. Kyle nods, shoves another large spoonful in his mouth, and looks out the window for a while. I open my notebook and flip to one of the end pages - its almost completely filled. I click my black gel pen open and make a small swirl on the top of my paper to make sure my pen works. I sit, doodling on the page for a while, figuring out what exactly to write. I won’t lie, Kyle is a little distracting. He chews loud, his shirt is off, and I can feel him staring straight at me.

“Do you need help? I can help,” Kyle says after a few minutes. By now, he cereal is gone and all he has left is the milk, which he gets up and dumps in the sink. I don’t blame him. I don’t like the milk in the cereal, it tastes gross after.

“If you want to.” Kyle motions for me to scoot over in the booth, and I do. He sits close to me and holds my notebook, skipping through the pages. He’s reading songs I’ve already written, and I can’t really understand what he’s doing. I don’t say anything, but I wish he asked. My songs are my life, they express my thoughts better than anything. A majority of my songs haven’t been released, and those are some of the most intimate ones. I haven’t even shown them to Shaun.

He stops at a specific page and reads it slowly. He looks at me, smiling. “This isn’t finished?” He points to a half filled sheet of paper coated in doodles of flowers and my slanted cursive writing.

“No, it’s not,” I shake my head. “I have a tendency to begin things but hardly finish them. Most of these songs are finished, but I’m having a hard time with this. To be honest, I forgot it existed.” Which is true, it’s probably fifteen pages inside the book I had started three months ago.

On the top of the page, I have the word lucky neatly printed. The lyrics underneath are sloppy, with multiple phrases crossed out. I’m not stuck with any inspiration when I read over the song, I’m still as stuck as before.

Kyle is smiling as he reads it though. “I really like this,” he says. “It’s like a conversation between two people.”

“Yeah, the song was originally supposed to be a duet, that’s what I’m trying to go for. The people are friends just getting out of the friendzone and into a relationship, and they’re lucky for it. Most close friendships never turn out that way. That’s why it’s titled Lucky,” I explain. Kyle nods in response.

“Let’s break it up. Maybe if I sing it with you, it’ll help because it’s not just in your head.” He reaches for the notebook from the table and reads over the song once more. He then grabs my pen from my hand and writes something down. When he’s finished, he sets the pen down and shows me his improvements. On the very top of the page, underneath the title and before the opening lyrics, he adds the phrase ‘Do you hear me, talking to you?’ “I think that’s a better start for it, getting the conversation going. What do you think?”

“I think that’s perfect,” I respond. It really is perfect. He helps me divide the male and female parts. I go get my guitar, and once I’m back, we sing.

Singing with Kyle was great. Our voices blend perfectly - it was like this song was meant for us to sing together. For the next thirty minutes, we continue editing the song, and I can tell we’re both thrilled with how it’s turning out. Soon, the rest of We Came As Romans comes onto the bus. Once they see us, they’re voices hush.

“I was wondering where you went!” Dave says, and I assume he’s talking to Kyle. “Right after the set you just disappeared. You said you wanted to see Issues, so I figured you’d just hang out with them after.” He sits down on the other side of the table, and the other boys disperse, leaving to do their own thing.

“I ran into Morganne, and we ended up coming back here to write,” Kyle explains. Dave nods, and suddenly looks at us with interest. Before Dave can open his mouth again, Kyle adds, “You should hear this song. As soon as she gets the guitar part down, it’s going to be phenomenal.”

“Play it for me,” Dave says.

“It’s a duet,” I explain, rubbing my pick with my index finger and thumb, “Kyle’s stuck singing it with me.” Kyle makes a face like he’s upset with having to help, and I laugh, knowing that he’s actually glad to help. We sing the song for Dave, making no mistakes. Once we’re finished, I look back at Dave, who has a huge grin on his face.

“That was fantastic. You two sound so great together.” His phone vibrates, and he takes it out of his pocket. I can see his fingers moving quickly, so I conclude that he’s probably texting somebody. I look at Kyle, and he’s looking at Dave expectantly, like he’s waiting for news of some sort. After a few minutes, Kyle looks back at me.

“You definitely need to get this song out there,” he says, smiling. “Your fans will go crazy over it.”

“Yeah, maybe,” I smile back at him. “Will you record it with me? I can’t imagine anybody else singing it with me, especially since you wrote it with me.”

Dave looks up from his phone, grinning. “That’s such a great idea.” He looks back down at his phone, typing once again, and then locks it. “You guys want to hang out at the Issues bus later? We need to kick Warped off right, and they’re the best guys to party with.”

“Hell yeah!” Kyle high fives Dave, and then looks over to me. “I’d love to record that song with you.” I grin like an idiot, and take out my own phone. I log onto Twitter, and tweet that I have a surprise for my fans: a song with a guest vocalist.

I get feedback right away, and the smile I had before is permanently plastered on my face. I drown out the sound of the two vocalists sitting with me and start responding to tweets. My first day at Warped is even better than I imagined it could be.