Don't Speak, Liar

Kyle and I walk to catering, hands swaying by our sides. It’s quiet at first, so I decide to break the silence. “Did I punch Andy last night?” I ask, a little embarrassed but mostly curious.

Kyle starts laughing, “It was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.” His laugh is contagious, making me laugh a little too.

“So, is that a yes?”

Kyle nods. “He really deserved it. I can’t sock him in the jaw, but you sure can. And you have quite an arm.” He continues to explain to me what happened. Andy made fun of height, my voice when it cracked because I couldn’t make a high note, and when he tossed a can of beer at my butt, but it missed and hit my lower back instead. I guess I had enough of it, because I called him a few names and told him I’d punch him, which nobody thought I would do. I proved everyone wrong, though. Andy now has a small blue bruise next to his lip.

I cover my hands with my face and shake my head. “I can’t believe I did that!”

Kyle shrugs. “It’s really not a big deal, he deserved it.” I shake my head, not believing in, but I don’t say anything else. One of the bands doing catering, a band I don’t know, says hi to him and he greets the other back. Our conversation is temporarily ended.

After we grab our food, we sit down at the nearest available table, across from each other. Right now, the catering section is relatively empty. Aside from Kyle and I, there’s only a handful of people here. As we eat, I feel my phone vibrate. I check my text: it’s Michael asking where I’m at. I tell him where Kyle and I are, and he should also head over here. After my text sends, I tell Kyle that Michael might join us.

“I fucking love that dude,” Kyle responds. He continues stuffing his face with his lunch. I nod and continue eating mine. Although I only met the boys from Issues a day ago, Michael and I have bonded. From the bits and pieces I recall from last night, I gathered a good sense of Michael, and now consider him a friend, not as much of an acquaintance.

By the time both Kyle and I finish our lunches, the boys compiling Issues walk into catering. Their faces are all covered with warm smiles as they talk to each other. I can hear Tyler’s laugh from across the lot, which makes me smile. Genuine laughter is one of my favorite things.

Kyle hollers over at them, and the boys each wave back as they grab their plates. While they gather their food, I throw mine and Kyle’s wrappers in the trash. By the time I’m back to the table, my original spot is taken. Most of the boys have surrounded Kyle. Michael has occupied my previous seat, so I head over to him and tap his shoulder with the back of my hand. “That’s my spot, asshole,” I say, laughing.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to take your seat,” he says, giving me a cheeky smile. Everybody resituates so I can get my previous seat back, and I thank the guys who moved.

“How was your set?” I ask as I watch the guys eat. Watching guys eat is actually quite a sight. They’re careless, spilling food everywhere. Watching them, you’d think they’ve never eaten a meal in their lives.

“It was great!” Michael responds. “We’re doing a signing later, so that should be fun. I love meeting fans.”

“Plus, they always have the greatest gifts,” Skyler joins in.

“I think the only downfall of signings is the cramp you get in your hands from all those autographs,” Kyle says. I nod, completely agreeing. During a signing, I could go through a sharpie and a half. With no breaks, your hand does begin to cramp up. Those are little sacrifices, and well worth it, if you ask me.

“You can hang out after?” Michael says this, but it sounds more like a question. I don’t respond, because I figure he’s talking to Kyle. But when nobody says anything, I look over at him, and he’s looking straight at me.

“Of course,” I smile back at him, and he returns my gaze. Before long, everybody is done eating. Skyler informs everybody that the signing Issues has is in a little over an hour, so they have some time to kill.

I stand up, wiping food crumbs off my dress. Somehow, those messy boys managed to get food on me. I’m not complaining or surprised, but the mess bothers me. “Someone come walk with me, it’s so nice out.” Nobody gets up right away, so I jut my lip out and play pout.

Michael catches my gaze and laughs. “I’m a sucker for those puppy dog eyes,” he groans. He grabs his garbage and stands up next to me. “Let’s walk.”

We say goodbye to everybody, and they all say bye back in unison. Everybody, except Kyle. He just looks at us with a confused look. His puzzled look confuses me. I have no idea why he could possibly be confused. But, as I’m walking away with Michael, I try to shrug it off and move on to the current situation.

“What do you want to do?” Michael asks as we walk. Our pace is perfect: we’re side by side, arms swaying close to each other. I don’t have to walk faster or slower to keep up with him. The sync we have is great, and I can’t help but admire it.

“I don’t know,” I say after a short pause. “Just walk, I guess. And talk. We can get to know each other so well this way. There’s brief distractions when you only focus on each other in subtle ways like this.”

“So, let’s walk towards the buses so we’re not distracted by this badass music,” He responds. I laugh and agree with him.

As we walk, I ask him about his band. I know he was previously in Woe, Is Me, but that’s all I know. He tells me all the background quickly and effortlessly. I can tell he’s told this story before, probably more than he’s wanted to, which makes me feel bad. But, at the same time, I’m curious. He concludes his speech with, “How about you?”

Suddenly, I’m nervous. I feel pressured to tell him all about me, but I try to keep it simple. “It’s just me. I play all the instruments when I do studio time, but it’s mostly just me and my guitar. I just signed with Hopeless Records, and after the summer, I’m set to record my first full album. I like to think I’m relatively simple. There isn’t much to me, and I don’t mind that. I like the simplicity.”

“Simplicity is nice. Complication is overrated, honestly.” Michael says. Our hands brush, and I can feel a blush come on. I immediately wish I had pockets to tuck my hands into so I could hide them away and prevent that from happening again. Instead, I twine my hands together and let them rest in front of me.

“Did you see Kyle’s face when we left?” I ask, suddenly changing the subject. I didn’t mean to, but my mouth spoke before I thought the question through. Immediately, I’m embarrassed. Michael and Kyle are friends, and I don’t want Michael to know of my unprofessional, blooming crush on Kyle.

“Yeah,” Michael sighs. “He gets like that sometimes. You never really know what goes on in that guy’s head. He wants to get to know you, and I think he’s mad I’m spending time with you.”

Michael’s words baffle me. Kyle wants to get to know me? I know we wrote a song together and we’re splitting a bus cost, but I can’t bring myself to think he’d ever be interested in me.

“Then why didn’t he come with? It was an open invitation.” Michael just shrugs, so I continue speaking. “He doesn’t show the slightest interest in me. Yeah, he helped me write a song, but that’s business. I spot no genuine interest.”

“Kyle doesn’t date a lot. He’s more of a hook up and let go kind of guy,” Michael hesitantly admits. “But we were talking last night, and after you punched Andy, he really thought you were different than other girls he’s been with.” He must’ve saw a weird look on my face, because he quickly adds, “Which is a good thing. Definitely a good thing.”

“So, what do I do?” I ask. “He’s given me the cold shoulder left and right. He’s like the beginning of winter. Sometimes, he’s warm and welcoming, but it doesn’t last. After a moment, it passes, and it feels cold and windy.”

“You just give him time, if it really matters to you.” By now, we’re at the buses. We walk over to my bus. I invite him in to join me, but Michael shakes his head. “I have a signing to go to, but it was nice walking with you, Morganne.” He gives me a wide smile, which I return. “Just, do me a favor? Really think about what I said, about Kyle.”

I nod, telling him I definitely will. I give him a hug, thanking him for walking me to the bus. He laughs, telling me it was his pleasure, and walks away.

I open the bus door and head inside, immediately feeling cooled off by the air conditioning. The walk with Michael may have been short, but it was informative. The walk was enough to give me a slight reassurance, and definitely form the butterfly mosh pit I’ve been feeling the last few days.

The rumors I have heard about Kyle were true; Michael confirmed them for me. But Kyle’s hopes and nerves about me make me nervous. I’m terrified his expectations of me are too high, and I will only disappoint him. Unfortunately, this is something only time will unravel, and I’ll impatiently have to wait for the situation to reveal itself.