For the First Time

"That's the end?" Haley asked.

"Of the first notebook Mom had yes. Hey, give me the other one," Victoria replied, eagerly.

"Okay hold on," Haley replied, searching through the composition notebooks. He pulled out one that had a little number '2' on it. "I think this is it."

"To think they really went through all of this," Victoria said.

"I know right?" Haley asked back.

"I saw Dean for the first time in nine, almost ten years today. My head is spinning…" Victoria read aloud. Here's to the next of adventure of her parents.

"And we don't know how, how we got into this mad situation, only doing things out of frustration…"
- The Script "For the First Time"


~3rd Person POV~

"Any luck?" Bobby asked, as Sam stormed into the house, slamming the door behind him. "Hey, watch it!" Sam huffed around the house before finally settling on the couch. "I'll take that as no." Bobby walked over to Sam, away from his book collection.

"He won't talk. He doesn't even want me to mention Dad. I just-, I've given up, Bobby. Screw it," Sam said, angrily.

"No you haven't. You'd never give up on him," Bobby replied.

"Can we just pretend that I would?" Sam asked back.

Bobby sighed, "I hoped that I'd never have to come to this but uh… I think we're desperate, Sam. We can use all the help we can get." Bobby pulled out his cell phone and began dialing a number. Sam looked at Bobby quizzically.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked.

Bobby didn't reply but instead just listened to the phone ring. Part of him prayed that there would be no response but on the fifth ring, there was a clicking noise.

"Hello?" a voice asked.

"Hi, do you think you could come over?" Bobby asked back.

"Uh, yeah. What's going on, Bobby? You've been keeping me away for about a week now. You should be glad that I've been too busy to be suspicious," the voice replied. Sam gave Bobby a look of disbelief. If it was who Sam thought it was on the phone, Bobby must be crazy.

"It's a very long story but we could really use your help. It's Dean. He's-," Bobby started.

"Is he okay?" the voice asked, urgently.

"I'm sorry. I hate to ask you this and I don't want to drag you into this since… last time. You haven't seen each other in at least ten years," Bobby replied.

"Yeah. You know what it's uh, fine. If he needs my help… I'll be over in about ten?" the voice asked.

"Okay," Bobby replied, before the woman on the other line hung up on him.

"Was that who I think it was?" Sam asked.

"Meredith," Bobby replied.

"Bobby, are you crazy?" Sam asked.

"Look, I know I'm probably opening up some old wounds but she's been able to reach out to him in ways that we never could," Bobby explained.

"Oh… you mean…?" Sam asked, giving Bobby 'the look'.

"What? No. They never did that anyways," Bobby replied.

"Right, yeah, never. They never did anything of the sort," Sam replied, terribly unconvincing. Bobby opened his mouth to say something and then just decided to leave it alone. He put his cell phone back into his pocket. "So she's here?"

"Yeah, she just got a job at the elementary school," Bobby said.

Sam nodded, "Huh. Interesting."

~End 3rd Person POV~

I anxiously stood at Bobby's front door. I put my hand out to knock on the door but then hesitated. God, what was I getting myself into? I had finally gotten Dean out of my system and was even a little mad at him. But I knew that stuff never worked. It was because I had been away from him but seeing him again? God, that might actually kill me.

I had said yes to Bobby about coming to see Dean, hadn't I? I knew this wasn't a good idea but Bobby said that Dean needed help and I couldn't say no to that. This already was like purposely walking into a trap. I could tell.

I took a deep breath in and mustered up the courage to knock. I exhaled on the last knock and within seconds, Bobby had answered the door.

"Hey," I said. "He here?"

"Yeah, has been for about a week now," Bobby said. So that's why Bobby had been keeping me away. It was all making sense now. I peered into the door. "Come inside." I nodded and did so. I walked into the living room and could feel myself getting more and more anxious. The man sitting in the living room had brown hair and was quite tall.

"Hi," I said.

"Boys, we have a guest. Be nice," Bobby said. Sam turned around and there was a wide grin on his face as he saw me. I smiled back at him and the two of practically ran straight for each other. Sam pulled me in a giant bear hug where I could barely breathe.

"Oh my God, Sammy, since when did you get so tall? You're about double my height!" I exclaimed, hugging him.

Sam laughed, "I don't know. I guess I just shot up over the years. How are you? Wow, you look great!"

"Thank you, you too. I'm good. It's the first month into teaching my elementary class at Sioux Falls elementary. Funny, right?" I asked.

"Yeah, you went there as a kid right?" Sam asked back.

"Mhm. It's just weird actually being a teacher there now but the kids are adorable and we finger paint a lot," I said.

"Wow, you sure have been livin' it up," Sam joked.

"I know, right?" I asked back.

"I'll just leave you two alone," Bobby said, leaving the room.

The two of us laughed and I looked around, "Where's Dean?"

"He said he went to take a shower," Sam replied.

"Huh, well while we wait on the royal pain in the ass. Sit down, Sam. God, I can't believe you're here. Enough about me! How have you been?" I asked, sitting down on the couch, Sam sitting down right next to me.

"I've been better. I ended up going to Stanford and then I uh, dropped everything and came to hunt with Dean again to look for Dad," Sam sighed.

"Oh," I said, getting quiet as soon as he brought up John Winchester. All of the hunting world knew about John's death. Bobby had told me... I had no idea that Sam and Dean were here but it didn't surprise me. That must've been why Bobby called me here. If Sam was taking it hard, Dean was probably even worse off. I was even still sore about John and after all, Dean was really close with John.

"I'm sure this is probably pretty hard for you so thanks. I know the last time you and Dean saw each other...," Sam changed the subject quickly, trailing off.

"You know about that?" I asked, my eyes widening.

"Yeah. I didn't talk to him for about a week," Sam said.

I chuckled, "Well that was not necessary. No, it's-, I want to be here for you guys. Despite what happened between me and Dean, you guys are family. I want to be here for the both of you."

"Who? Because she sounds hot!" a voice smirked, as we heard the footsteps of someone entering the room. Sam, able to see who it was widened his eyes and coughed, signaling to the other person to cut it out. Whether or not I could see him, I knew it was Dean. Like I'd be able to forget the sound of his voice. I could feel the butterflies in my stomach. He was here, standing there and I was here. I turned around screaming at my body to not give out. We locked eyes and I had to keep reminding myself to breathe. "What're you-?"

"Just visiting some old friends," I replied, weakly. Knowing Dean, he would throw a fit if he knew that Bobby had called me for help. But I never thought seeing him again would still-. Dam it. I wanted to be mad at him for what he did and I'm sure I would be soon but seeing him here and now...

There was a sad, vulnerable look in his eyes that surprised me.

"Meredith," Dean stammered, at loss for words.

"Dean," I said back.

"Wow," was all he said. Before I could let my feelings get the best of me, I stood up and went over to him.

"It's good to see you," I said. We exchanged a small, awkward hug where we kind of danced around each other for the beginning and a hug that lasted for about two seconds. "So, uh, your shower was… good?"

Seriously? That's all I could say?!

"Yeah," he said, trying to grasp the fact that I was here.

"Good," I replied, uncomfortably. God, this was awkward. And Dean was looking at me as if he had seen a ghost.

"Are you hungry? I'm starving and I think I'm going to make some lunch," I said.

"Uh, yeah, that'd be great," Dean said back, smiling a little.

"Sam, you coming?" I asked.

"Sure," Sam replied. I shot him a look that begged him to not leave me alone with Dean.

---------------------------------------------------------------

After lunch, Dean, Sam, and I sat at Bobby's kitchen table and just talked and laughed together. It was like the old times. God, Sam had grown up so much. He really looked like a man now. I couldn't help but think what Sawyer would say if she saw him now.

"You know, what I've got to go. In the other room. To uh… tie my shoes," Sam said. I shot him a pleading look but he only shook his head and left the room. I swallowed hard. Dean and I hadn't been alone since seeing each other again and I had no idea what I'd say.

"I didn't do anything," Dean said, holding his hands up innocently.

I chuckled. Classic Dean.

"So how are you doing with… everything?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" Dean asked.

"You know... just in general," I managed to get out.

"Oh," Dean said.

"What?" I asked.

"Sam told you didn't he?" Dean growled, not bothering to look me in the eye. Instead, he stared down at the kitchen table, playing with his empty beer bottle.

"No, no. I-, I heard about it about a week ago. I had no idea that you guys were here. If I had, well, I probably would've-," I began.

"Would've what? Come over to talk? Say hi? Cry a little all the while comforting us and telling us it's all going to be okay?" Dean patronized, causing me to mentally slam on the breaks.

"Excuse me?" I asked, not knowing whether or not to feel offended.

"I don't want to talk about it, okay?" Dean snapped, narrowing his eyes at me. And then it was as if a light bulb had gone off in my head. "That's why you're here, isn't it? They called you, didn't they? They called you to come talk to me. Jesus Christ…"

"Dean," I started, attempting to calm him.

"I knew it. Damn it. You shouldn't have come. Just leave, Meredith," Dean warned.

"What the hell?" I asked back. I had never seen him this angry before, especially over something like this. And it was a total 180 flip. First we were... civil. At least trying to make small talk but now he was like a rabid animal!

"Christ, Meredith.. I'm not talking about it! They can try and force me to talk about it but, fuck," Dean raged.

"Oh my God, Dean! What the hell happened to you?!" I asked, shaking my head.

"What the hell happened to me, says the girl who lived her perfect little life up in New York while some of us were busy doing bigger things," Dean scoffed.

Okay, that was it.

"Jesus, Dean. Try to act like a human being," I hissed.

"Act like a human being? Great. I'm glad that's how you feel about me!" Dean exclaimed. "You should've never come." I shook my head at him, glaring at him. Not only was I angry but I was hurt at what he was saying. I got up and began to leave.

"What the hell, Meredith?" he asked, as he watched me walking away. Guess he didn't expect that.

"You're right. I should've never come here. I am such an idiot. To think that I could see you and that you wouldn't be the same selfish bastard that you always were. Fuck you, Dean," I yelled, storming out of the room.

"Oh so that's what you think of me?" he asked.

"Yes!" I exclaimed. All of the feelings when he left me in the hotel room that morning were coming back.

I shook my head, "I can't do this. I've got to go. This… this was a mistake." I stormed out of Bobby's house, slamming the door behind me in fear of crying in front of him. That was the last thing I wanted to do. As soon as I had gotten to Bobby's front porch, my crumbled and I buried my face in my hands as I let the tears pour out. I wasn't quite sure if they were from anger or hurt... maybe even both? Seconds later, Sam ran out, chasing after me.

"Meredith! Meredith, wait!" I heard him yell, his quick footsteps inches behind me. "Meredith, are you okay?"

"I can't be here, Sam. I just…" I trailed off, sniffling. I wiped my tears away quickly, taking a deep breath in.

"Please stay. We could really use you on our hunt and uh, you've always been the buffer between us. I need you here," Sam said, pulling that adorable puppy dog face on me. He was so hard to say no to.

"Sam…" I trailed off. I paused before finally saying, "Yes. Okay, yeah fine, I'll stay. God, he's so angry, Sam. One minute we were fine -- well as fine as the two of us could be -- and then next he's going off at me. I don't know how much I can take of it though."

"Don't feel too bad. He has this affect on everyone," Sam replied, attempting to cheer me up.

I smiled a little, "It's just... he's so different. He's not that same boy that he used to be in high school and I know that, I do. I just... his heart's different."

"I know I've been getting used to it though..." Sam said. He then paused to give me a tight hug, sweeping me up into his arms. I chuckled as I realized he was practically hunched over me. I let go of Sam, a smile on my face.

"Thanks. And you really have gotten so tall," I chuckled. Sam only laughed in response. I took a moment to recover from the ten billion emotions swimming in my body before asking, "So where are we off to? The case you guys were talking about at lunch."

"Some place in Nebraska," Sam replied.

"Are we going to take the Impala?" I asked.

"Uh, no it got pretty destroyed in the accident. Dean's fixing it up. I guess we'll have to talk to Bobby and see what he has running," Sam replied.

Oh. No wonder Dean was taking this hard. Not only had John passed away but his baby was destroyed. I sighed. I told Sam that I'd say but I wasn't quite sure how I was going to take it.