Kids Are Forever

Evgeni’s POV
“Clark,” I rushed into the room to where my fragile boy was lying, “Clark I am sorry,” I ran my hand through his hair.
“Dad,” he tried to reach up to me.
“Clark shhh,” I kissed his forehead.

“What’s going on?” I looked at Kate as I held onto my son’s weak little hand.
“Come here,” she got up quietly without an expression on her face.

I followed her out into the hall feeling like a lost puppy dog, “Kate what’s wrong?” I grabbed her arm and turned her around.
“He’s not going to make it,” she said barely above a whisper.
“What?” I heard her perfectly fine, I knew what she said I just didn’t want to believe the words.
“He’s not going to make it,” her voice cracked before she broke down in tears.
“Kate,” I wrapped my arms around her and held onto her. It wasn’t going to do much, it wasn’t going to help but I felt like it was my responsibility to shield her. Shield her from the hurt, the pain, the suffering.

You know when life throws you all these hoops you think each time, just jump. You jump and jump, over and over but at one point or another you get sick of feeling like a circus freak. Your legs can't handle jumping anymore and you just want to curl up and disappear from the world.

I was never the kind of person to give up. I never wanted to feel like I couldn't make it through. I wanted my kids to think that somewhere in this big world good would come to them. But it doesn't work like that. Bad things happen to good people, they happen to innocent people, they happen to my son.

For some reason the world liked to punish those who leased deserved it. All the floods, all the disasters, hunger, disease, war. It always hurts good people who deserve nothing less than to just be happy.

If god does exist he better have a good excuse because the day I meet him will be the day he no longer exists.

“Evgeni, Kate, what happened?” a familiar face walked in. It was Clark’s doctor from when he had surgery. He looked worried and confused all at the same time.
“He’s…”Kate began crying in my arms again before she could say anything as we all looked at the small boy.
“He’s going to be ok right? I tried talking to the doctor looking after him now but he wouldn’t tell me,” he picked up the clipboard in the slot at the end of Clark’s bed.

I watched as his eyes flicked over the writing, they grew wider and wider as he reached the bottom of the page.
“No, no this can’t be right,” he flicked back and forth over the pages with a frown on his face, “there has to be something they can do,” he dropped the folder and walked over to Clark’s side.
“Stop,” Kate looked up with tears in her eyes, “just stop. He’s too weak and there is nothing they can do. Just let him go in peace,” she sat on the edge of the bed, “he’s been through enough,” she lent down and kissed his forehead.

It was then that it really hit me. This was my fault. If I had have just waited a few more days, maybe a week, if I had have just said no we would all be at home sitting around the table eating dinner without a care in the world.

I got up not being able to handle seeing the life quiet literally disappear from my son and went out to the waiting room where everyone was waiting to know what was going on.

“Dad!” Lacey ran up and jumped into my arms.
“Princess,” I held onto her never wanting to let her go.
“Dad!” Nicky ran up to me as I knelt down to allow him into my arms with Luka right behind him.

“Is Clark ok?” Luka asked as they all stood in front of me with their sad little eyes.
“Dad?” Lacey cupped my face and made me look at them, my tears on display for them all to see.
“No,” I shook my head, “he’s not.”
“Dad, is he going to die?” a tear rolled down Lacey’s cheek.
“Like Grandpa,” Nicky looked up with questioning eyes.
“Yeah,” I closed my eyes and bit my lip.
“Can we say goodbye?” Luka began to cry.
“Ok,” I didn’t know that I wanted them to see him the way he was but they needed to.

“Ash are you coming?” I took Zach from Vero and picked Nicky up in the other as the twins followed behind me.
“I will come in soon,” he stared at the ground twiddling his thumbs.
“Ok.”

I knew it would be hardest on Asher. He was his big brother, he protected him, he was there for him when I was off playing hockey, when I spent all my time concentrating on the twins, Asher saw through it all and was there all the time. He was more then just a big brother, he was his real hero.

Kate’s POV
I was so tired, I was tired seeing Clark go through this. I didn’t want to see him in pain anymore. I wanted him to be at rest, for it to finally all be over for him. He had been through more than he needed.

“Clark,” Nicky wriggled from Evgeni’s arms and ran over to his brother’s bedside with tears in his eyes.

His eyes opened to little slits, enough that we knew he was there, but he didn’t speak. He laid there looking at everyone as they cried around him.

Evgeni put Zach on the end of his bed. His eyes landed on Clark and he smiled widely, “Clark,” he crawled up the bed and settled into his brothers side.

“Oh Zach,” I ran my hand through his hair with a fresh set of tears. It was his first word. His first word wasn’t mama or dada it was Clark and that only made it a whole lot worse. I hadn’t thought about how much it was going to affect the kids. I guess adults tend to forget that kids understand more they we think they do. But Zach wasn’t going to understand that he wouldn’t ever see his brother again and that broke my heart.

It brought a smile to everyone’s face as Zach cuddled up to his brother.

I noticed Asher standing by the door with love and affection in his eyes, “I just want to say goodbye,” he headed over to Clark’s side and grabbed his hand.
“Come on you guys lets go,” Evgeni took the kids out with a lot a protest from Nicky who was screaming to be with his big brother.

I didn’t know what I was going to do with myself after this. Clark, Zach and Asher all had a special bond and to see that get broken buy something so cruel was going to tear me apart. It was going to tear us all apart. They were all my little babies and this was only the beginning, there was many more years of heartache to deal with.