Kids Are Forever

Breaking My Heart

Kate’s POV
“What happened?”
“Where’s Clark?”
“Is he ok?”
The twins began questioning as their Aunty Veronique brought them home from school.
“He’s asleep at the moment, just leave him alone please,” I followed them into the lounge room to see Clark curled up on the couch with his head in Evgeni’s lap.

“Mum is he going to be ok?” Lacey looked up with worry in her eyes.
“I don’t know sweetie, we don’t know yet,” I put my hand on her back, “now you two better go do your homework and chores before I start making dinner.”

“Do you know what is wrong?” Vero asked sitting down on the sofa next to us.
“He collapsed, we are going to take him to the doctors tomorrow.”
“He will be alright,” she offered.
“I hope so.”

I didn’t know if I was going to be able handle going through this entire process all over again. My kids are my angels and I love them more than anything in the world and Clark, he was, he was something special.

“Hey you guys want some dessert?” I walked into the lounge room thinking that Evgeni and Clark were still in their as the others devoured their ice cream in the dining room.

I headed upstairs to Clark’s room to see Evgeni flat on his back in our son’s tiny bed with Clark sound asleep on his chest.
“Sleep tight boys,” I lent down and kissed their foreheads.

Evgeni’s POV
Getting the twins off to school was a task in itself, they wanted to come with us to the doctors so they could be there for Clark but right now we didn’t need all the fuss.

“Come on Zach, it’s just for a few hours baby,” he began to cry as Kate handed him over to his Uncle Sid.

“But Daddy?” Nicky looked up at me with his big brown eyes.
“We not long ok,” I picked up tickled him so he wouldn’t be in such a grumpy mood.

“Good luck, I hope everything goes ok,” Sid slapped my shoulder.
“Thanks,” I accepted his well wishes but I wasn’t convinced yet.

“Dad,” Clark looked up at me as he held onto my hand so tight I didn’t think he was ever going to let go.
“Yeah bud?” I knelt down in front of him as he looked up at the big white door to the doctor’s office.
“I don’t want to go,” he looked back at me with his sad blue eyes.
“I know but I promise I stay with you always, ok?” I made him look at me so I knew he was listening.
“Ok.”
“Good boy,” I kissed his forehead for good measure and grabbed his hand to lead him inside.

Kate’s POV
A heart murmur? My son has a heart murmur? How? Why does life have to be so cruel sometimes? My kids don’t deserve stuff like this, why can’t it be me?

“What are we going to do?” I gulped hoping the doctor had some good news.
“Well it could be something minor that some medication will fix or it might be something a bit more than that.”
“So?” I hated that doctors never gave you a definite answer. It drove me up the wall that we had to play the waiting game over and over whenever the kids were sick or hurt.
“I can’t say for sure which why I am going to refer you to a cardiologist on Wednesday, the sooner we find out what is causing it the better.”
“What do we do until then?”
“Just let him rest, no exercise, try not to let him get worked up either, anything that will raise his heart rate too much.”

Getting him to rest was going to be easy, movies on the couch with his dad in the middle of winter was the easy part but not letting him get worked up, that was a whole other level crazy.

“No!” he protested latching onto Evgeni’s hand.
“I not be long,” Evgeni pried his hand away, “Get twins from Uncle Sid and be back.”
“You promise you stay with me… always,” he began to cry.
“Come on, not be silly,” it was breaking my heart to see my little guy so upset like this.
“I am not! I am not silly,” he screamed, “I am scared!” he stopped all of sudden and we both looked at each other before our eyes fell on him.

“I am scared,” he repeated quietly standing all alone in the middle of the foyer.
“Oh Clark, come here,” I knelt down and opened my arms for him to run into.
“Mum I don’t want to be sick, I am scared,” he wrapped his tiny arms around me.
“I know baby, I know, Shhh, it’s going to be ok, don’t worry,” I wrapped my arms around his little body, “just calm down.”
“I cant,” he mumbled continuing to cry into my shoulder.
“Please, just relax,” I ran my hand through his hair.

Evgeni’s POV
“Hey,” I put my hand on Clark’s back as he hugged his mum tight.
“What?” he peered up, his blues eyes stained red form his tears.
“I get Uncle Sid to bring them home, we watch movie,” I offered knowing our little guy couldn’t resist that.
“Ok,” he agreed turning around to wrap his arms around my neck.
“But you have stop crying now,” I made him look at me.
“Ok,” he began to wipe his tears away.
“Here,” I brushed them away with my thumb, “now come on” I picked him up.

“Shhhh,” I ran my hand up and down his back as he sniffled back the few stray tears.
“I love you buddy,” I kissed his forehead as he rested his head on my shoulder succumbing to his slumber.

Clark was a small boy, he was the smallest in his class, smallest on his hockey team and sometimes it worried me that he wouldn’t grow or he would get teased. But he was my little boy and no matter how small he was he would always be my Clark.