Lessons Learned I
Lee 029
Rachel, Alex and I were hanging out by the tree we always hung around in the park, talking.
"Ivy followed me into the bathroom earlier," Alex grumbled, glaring off at the ground.
"Are you serious?" I mumbled.
"Chya. Frickin' stalker!"
"She really, really likes you, Alex," said Rachel.
"Yeah, but she stalks me!"
"Aw...but she likes you."
"I don't care," he whined. "She's creepy."
"Might wanna check into a restraining order, Alexander," I said. He scowled.
"Please don't call me that..."
"Alexander," I said in an annoying, nasaly voice.
"Alexander is a cute name," said Rachel.
"But it's so...old."
"It sounds intelligent," I said. "It's a good, strong name."
"I know! I totally agree," said Rachel.
"Seriously?" Alex mumbled. "My mother gave me the worst middle name on the face of the planet..."
"What is it?" I asked.
"Whilmer."
Rachel snickered before laughing her ass off. I laughed along. Alex scowled at us.
"Thanks..." he mumbled. "What are your middle names? They can't be any worse than 'Whilmer.'"
Rachel laughed a little.
"Mine's pretty retarded..."
"What is it?" Alexander asked curiously.
"...Renee..."
He shrugged.
"I like it. Beats Whilmer."
"My first name's Jewish and my middle name is French. How retarded!"
"Little odd... I don't even know what my mother was thinking when she thought of 'Whilmer.'"
"To be honest, I've never heard of the name Whilmer..."
"Ever heard of the Mexican dude from 'That 70s Show' Whilmer Vaderamez...or whatever his name is?"
"Not exactly..."
"Oh..." he mumbled.
"Speaking of the devil..." I mumbled, watching Ivy skip toward us.
"Oh, my God! Hi, Alex!" she waved.
Alex groaned and leaned against the tree, slowly smacking his head on it.
"Hi," he grumbled.
"Have you considered my proposition?"
"What proposition?"
"I'll be your girlfriend if you'll give me my unborn children."
Rachel and I gave her weird looks.
"Uhh...how about no?" Alex said, turning to face her. "I wouldn't date you if you were the last girl on Earth!"
She looked hurt.
"...why?"
"Because you're weird and a stalker! Leave me alone!"
"But I love you!"
"No, ya don't. If you loved him, you wouldn't stalk him," said Rachel.
"But I love him enough to care enough about him to follow him around to make sure he doesn't get hurt!"
"Alex is a big boy; he can take care of himself, Ivy."
"So PLEASE leave me alone!" Alex begged.
"...fine..." she walked off with her head hanging.
I looked at the three of them.
"...wow," I mumbled.
Alex rolled his eyes and leaned against the tree again.
"I'll thank whoever decides to expell her."
Rachel laughed a little.
"Is she really that bad?"
"Well, you just say how she acts," he grumbled.
"Well...she has a huge...and I mean a huge...crush on you..."
"Let's just drop it, I don't want to talk about her," he snapped.
Someone didn't take their Menopause pills this morning...
"Ivy followed me into the bathroom earlier," Alex grumbled, glaring off at the ground.
"Are you serious?" I mumbled.
"Chya. Frickin' stalker!"
"She really, really likes you, Alex," said Rachel.
"Yeah, but she stalks me!"
"Aw...but she likes you."
"I don't care," he whined. "She's creepy."
"Might wanna check into a restraining order, Alexander," I said. He scowled.
"Please don't call me that..."
"Alexander," I said in an annoying, nasaly voice.
"Alexander is a cute name," said Rachel.
"But it's so...old."
"It sounds intelligent," I said. "It's a good, strong name."
"I know! I totally agree," said Rachel.
"Seriously?" Alex mumbled. "My mother gave me the worst middle name on the face of the planet..."
"What is it?" I asked.
"Whilmer."
Rachel snickered before laughing her ass off. I laughed along. Alex scowled at us.
"Thanks..." he mumbled. "What are your middle names? They can't be any worse than 'Whilmer.'"
Rachel laughed a little.
"Mine's pretty retarded..."
"What is it?" Alexander asked curiously.
"...Renee..."
He shrugged.
"I like it. Beats Whilmer."
"My first name's Jewish and my middle name is French. How retarded!"
"Little odd... I don't even know what my mother was thinking when she thought of 'Whilmer.'"
"To be honest, I've never heard of the name Whilmer..."
"Ever heard of the Mexican dude from 'That 70s Show' Whilmer Vaderamez...or whatever his name is?"
"Not exactly..."
"Oh..." he mumbled.
"Speaking of the devil..." I mumbled, watching Ivy skip toward us.
"Oh, my God! Hi, Alex!" she waved.
Alex groaned and leaned against the tree, slowly smacking his head on it.
"Hi," he grumbled.
"Have you considered my proposition?"
"What proposition?"
"I'll be your girlfriend if you'll give me my unborn children."
Rachel and I gave her weird looks.
"Uhh...how about no?" Alex said, turning to face her. "I wouldn't date you if you were the last girl on Earth!"
She looked hurt.
"...why?"
"Because you're weird and a stalker! Leave me alone!"
"But I love you!"
"No, ya don't. If you loved him, you wouldn't stalk him," said Rachel.
"But I love him enough to care enough about him to follow him around to make sure he doesn't get hurt!"
"Alex is a big boy; he can take care of himself, Ivy."
"So PLEASE leave me alone!" Alex begged.
"...fine..." she walked off with her head hanging.
I looked at the three of them.
"...wow," I mumbled.
Alex rolled his eyes and leaned against the tree again.
"I'll thank whoever decides to expell her."
Rachel laughed a little.
"Is she really that bad?"
"Well, you just say how she acts," he grumbled.
"Well...she has a huge...and I mean a huge...crush on you..."
"Let's just drop it, I don't want to talk about her," he snapped.
Someone didn't take their Menopause pills this morning...