Disgusting

I got dressed in some sort-of-nice clothes and packed a few things in my backpack to go to Jake’s house. My aunt stopped me as soon as I left the room.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“I’m off to a friend’s house.”

“I don’t think so. I’m pretty sure that you’re grounded for a while.”

“I don’t think that’s necessary.” I knew I was being sassy with her, but I needed to see Jake.

My aunt pushed me back into my room. I didn’t feel like fighting with her so I just waited until she walked away before trying to open the door again. It wouldn’t budge. I figured that she must have put something in front of it. She used to do that to me when I was little because I used to crawl out of bed at night and walk around.

I decided that I should probably call Jake and let him know that I wasn’t going to come. He didn’t pick up until it went to the answering machine.

“Hey?”

“Hey Jake.”

“Oh hey Hunter. Are you on your way?”

“I can’t make it. I’m grounded for a little while.”

“Why?”

“I’m just in trouble,” I said vaguely. I was trying to avoid the truth because there’s no way Jake could know about Devon.

“Oh I see.”

“I’ll come over as soon as I can okay?”

“Okay.”

“Bye Jake.”

“Love you Hunter, bye.”

My gut twisted with both guilt and feeling. I was going to miss so much about the friends with benefits thing we had going on. I loved the cute little things like that he did. I loved staring into his big, brown eyes, pulling on his curls, and his sexy neck biting.

I sat on my bed. I got a text from Devon.

He wanted to know if I could come over. I told him the same thing I told Jake. Then he asked if I wanted to sext, but I really wasn’t into that sort of thing. He said he didn’t really care as long as I didn’t cut him off from the real thing.

I really just couldn’t stop thinking about Jake though. If Jake wanted to sext, I probably wouldn’t even think twice.

I lay down on my bed. I tossed my phone up in the air a few times and caught it on the way down. One time I missed and it hit me in the lip. “Shit, ow,” I said and sat up. I licked my lip and winced when my tongue ran over the newly sore spot.

I lay back down and set my phone on the nightstand. It was only five according to my alarm clock, but when I woke up from my little catnap it was almost eleven. It was dark outside my bedroom window. My bedroom window.

I got up and pulled a sweater from my closet. I made sure that my hair was at least kind of presentable, although I didn’t know what I’d do if it wasn’t. It’s not like I could leave my room.

My door was still locked, but I went over to the window and opened it. I could easily jump from my window to the porch covering and then to the sidewalk from there; in fact I’d done it many times before.

I jumped to the porch overhang and slid a little bit on the roof tiles. I caught my balance quickly, but my heart had already started pounding with adrenaline. I took a moment to calm down and then dropped to the grass in my front yard.

I glanced back at the house. It was almost eleven. I almost went to Jake’s house, but I texted Devon instead. I let him know that I would be there in a few minutes.

He just texted me back a winky face.

I looked at all the fancy houses in Devon’s neighborhood. His parents were pretty loaded from what I understood, so he could afford a nice, big house.

I called him when I was at his house. He told me to go around to the back door and he’d let me in there. He did as he said he would, which he explained was to avoid his mother who was extremely nosy. I didn’t blame him I guess. I always made him sneak around when my aunt was in the picture; it didn’t bother me really.

Devon and I just stood in the middle of his room, sort of unsure of what to do. I set my bag down next to the door. Devon held my arms.

“What happened to your lip Hunter? It’s all swollen.”

I looked at the floor. “It’s embarrassing.”

“You can tell me.”

“I dropped my phone.”

Devon laughed. “You’re so damn funny.”

I tried keeping my gaze on the floor, but Devon tilted my face up to his.

“I think it’s adorable, Hunter.” He flashed his perfect teeth into a smile and I’m sure I felt it to my toes: so much for not liking him.

My insides twisted some more. This was becoming a regular thing: this twisty, insidious tango.

I was sort of torn between Jake and Devon. I obviously like Jake much more, but it was easier to love Devon because things were less complicated because he wasn’t as young.

“So what made you stop by, cutie?” Devon asked, sliding his hand down my back and to my waist so he held me against him.

“I sort of needed a place to go for a break. My aunt…”

Devon winced at the mention of her.

“Oh really?” he asked, sliding his hand a little bit lower and pulling me even closer. “Are you sure that’s all?”

I got his hint. Actually I think you’d have to be blind not to. But I shook my head. I didn’t want to seem too obvious or desperate.

Devon pulled me in and I was a goner. I couldn’t resist long enough to even think about Jake and how guilty I’d feel afterwards.

After that while, I was sort of lost I thought. I wondered if Devon actually liked me for being me, or if he liked me because of my body. Not that there was much to like because I was just really bony and skinny. Maybe if you had like a twig fetish you might like my body, but I just didn’t see it appealing to most people; especially someone like Devon who could have anyone he wanted.

Afterwards Devon just lay cuddled into my side. I absentmindedly played with his hair and couldn’t help but stare at his lean muscle. He was so attractive compared to me.

“You’re so skinny,” Devon said, as if he was reading my mind. “You don’t have an eating disorder or anything do you? I worry about you Hunter.”

I shook my head. I ate a ton. I was definitely not starving myself at all.

“Good,” Devon said as he ran his finger from dangerously low down on my hips to my collarbone. “I’m thinking that you should probably try and gain some weight though. It would do you good probably. You look a bit malnourished.”

“Believe me. I just can’t put on weight.”

“I wish I had your metabolism.”

“But you’re so attractive.”

“That’s all I needed to hear,” Devon said and kissed me on the neck.

“Can we kiss for real?” Devon asked.

“What do you mean?”

“We never really kiss and I just want to kiss you for real.”

I sort of wasn’t expecting him to ask. It wasn’t that important to me, but I supposed that we didn’t really kiss much, and when we did it was lusty and never lasted long.

Devon pressed his lips to mine just once and I almost died right there. He was moving his mouth softly against mine and his body was molding into mine, and it felt so good. I thought of Jake occasionally because I still felt guilty, but I tried my best to push those thoughts to the back of my mind. He didn’t want to be anything more than friends anyway.

Devon pulled way. He had a lazy smile on his face and a sparkle in his eyes.

“I wish everyone reacted to me the way that you do.”

I bit my swollen lips. I had forgotten all about my phone incident and winced when I bit down on the sore part.

Devon smirked a bit. “Do you want me to kiss that?”

I smiled and Devon pecked me on the corner of the mouth, pulling away when I tried to keep him close. He ended the kiss when I growled in the back of my throat.

“You’re so sexy,” he said. “For real.”

“Not really.”

“Yeah. You are.” He laid his head on my chest and I played with his hair.