Status: rewritten, weekly updates

Disgusting

Six

I was really hot and felt sort of feverish. I felt like my skin was sliding off of my body, which was never a good feeling.

I tried to kick off the covers, but Devon held me in tightly so that didn’t help. I wasn’t sweating, but I didn’t understand how Devon could not think that I was hot, temperature wise.

“Devon,” I choked out, squirming against his body.

Devon’s eyes flickered open and he let go of me.

“Hunter, what’s wrong?

He touched my forehead with his hand and frowned almost immediately. “You’re burning up,” he whispered.

I closed my eyes and laid my head back into the pillow. I started to shiver. It felt like I had some sort of fast-raging, bipolar fever. I was on fire and the rest of the world had frozen over.

Devon tossed me an extra blanket. I pulled it over myself, thankful for protection from the icy air.

I barely noticed that it was bright enough outside to be ten or eleven in the morning.

“You can stay here,” Devon offered.

I shook my head. I just wanted to be home and away from everyone. I was sick, and I felt so guilty and dirty.

I sat up and I felt my stomach float around. My head spun and I thought for a second that I was going to puke.

“Do you need a ride or something?”

“No thanks.”

“Then do me a favor?”

I nodded. I was too shaky at that moment to actually answer him.

“Call me when you get home?”

“Okay.”

“And Hunter?”

I looked at him.

“Who’s Jake?”

My heart stopped. “He’s a friend of mine, from my old school,” I lied.

How could he even possibly know about Jake?

“Nothing I need to worry about?” Devon asked.

I shook my head hesitantly.

Then as if answering all of my questions, Devon said, “You were saying his name in your sleep.”

I shook my head and rubbed my temples. That was not good at all. Who knew what the context of me saying his name was? It was obviously bad if Devon had commented on it.

“Be safe okay?”

Devon kissed me quickly, pressing his cool lips to my feverish ones.

I followed the hallway to the massive front door. I let myself out and made sure to shut the door tightly behind me. I half-jogged to my house, just wanting nothing more than to be home. I sneaked in the front door and went up to my room. The chair wasn’t there anymore, so I went in and locked my door.

I plopped onto the bed without even bothering to undress. That walk had just about killed me. I was shaking and my stomach was so sick. I think I fell asleep, but it was fitful. So when I woke up I didn’t really feel rested at all.

I didn’t feel as sick, but I felt guilty. I knew it wasn’t a good idea, but I went to go and see Jake anyway.

I grabbed a sweater and snuck back outside. No one noticed me but the dog. He only picked his head up though, and then almost immediately went back to sleeping.

It was almost frigid outside, but I couldn’t really feel. I felt numb. I wasn’t sure why. My head was foggy and my senses were duller and everything in my head seemed to be going too slow for me to think.

By the time I got to Jake’s house, I felt dead. I lifted my hand up to knock on the front door. Jake opened it and saw me. His eyes widened a little bit.

“You look so sick, “Jake said.

“I’m fine,” I lied. I felt like someone had filled my whole body with lead.

Jake hugged me and I felt like I was on fire, like someone had taken the lead in my veins and melted it into a hot, hot soup.

I pushed Jake away gently.

He looked down at the floor. “Why didn’t you come last night?”

“My aunt locked me up,” I lied through my teeth. Jake didn’t know though. I felt so dirty.

Jake frowned again.

“Sawyer’s here,” he just happened to let me know.

It was my turn to frown. Sawyer was Jake’s girlfriend. Not like they were dating, just a friend who happened to be really close with him and was also a girl. She made me so undeniably jealous because I saw the way she looked at Jake. And I knew exactly how Jake looked back at her. I knew that if he didn’t love me that he’d love her. I also knew that he should have her because I wasn’t good enough to have him.

Sawyer was upstairs in Jake’s room lying on his bed. Her long, curly blonde hair fanned out from her head. She had the most haunting, steel gray eyes. It was almost like when she looked at you she saw right through you.

“Hey Hunter,” she said, sitting up. I had to admire her though. She didn’t care what other people thought about her. She dressed kind of like a hippie and acted kind of like one too. She didn’t eat meat or anything like that.

She gave me a small smile with lips that I knew had kissed Jake’s. Jake told me about it himself. He said that she was just one of those people that the minute you meet them you’re just dying to feel them. That’s sort of how I felt about Jake, but he’d never know that.

“Hey Sawyer,” I said, dragging my feet to go sit next to her on the bed.

“Are you okay?” she asked. She sounded really suspicious. She narrowed her eyes slightly and frowned.

“Fine,” I said and plopped down next to her.

She didn’t say anything, but I caught her watching me out of the corner of her eye.

“I think we should go to the park,” Jake said. He held his hand for Sawyer to take and she held it.

I stood up and black spots danced across my vision. Sawyer kept on watching me. It’s almost like she knew about me cheating on Jake, but she didn't even know about Jake and I. She was absolutely glaring daggers at me.

Jake pulled Sawyer out of the room and I followed, trying to blink away the dark from my vision.

Sawyer had let go of Jake and walked next to me.

Jake was a few good feet in front of us.

"You're kind of an asshole to him." I recoiled from her. She sent me a dirty look and then went back to walking next to Jake. He pulled her into his side and held her there with his arm.

My stomach churned with guilt and jealousy at the same time. I felt like I was going to puke, but only because she was so right.

They did look sort of cute from the back though. They were both about the same height. Sawyer had blonde curls. Jake had brown curls. Both had that nice, olive, German skin that didn’t burn, unlike my pale, who-knows-where-from skin that burned the minute I stepped out into the sun.

I pulled my hood up and watched my feet. Looking at them made me hurt. They giggled together and I felt like someone was trying to tear my kidney out through my throat.

I ended up just watching them for a while. Sawyer was definitely flirting with Jake, but it really didn’t seem to matter to either of them. They just went on with their walking like there was nothing wrong with the world.

When we got to the park, Sawyer untangled herself from Jake’s long arms and ran to the slide. On her way there, she tripped and landed on her front. She rolled over on the wood-chips and curled herself into fetal position. “Jakey,” she whined.

Jake held out his arms for her. She pulled herself to a standing position using Jake as an anchor of some sort.

“Giraffe legs.” He mocked her and then pulled her along to the stairs.

I lay on my side, on a bench, using my arm as a pillow. My eyes drifted shut and my head cleared. All I could hear was Sawyer and Jake laughing and the sound of my own slow, steady breathing.

I shivered, quite cold all of a sudden. I cracked my eyes open. It was getting dark out and I didn’t feel quite so leaden anymore. I sat up and looked at the paly fort. Jake and Sawyer were laying there, tangled up in each other.

“Hunter? Is that you?” Jake asked, twisting his body so he could see me more clearly.

“Yeah,” I said, my voice cracking.

“Cute,” I heard Sawyer say. I blushed. Dumb puberty. You’d think at sixteen I might at least be through the stupid voice cracks.

I stood there for a few minutes in silence until Sawyer shot up from her position on the floor of the fort and flew down the slide. “My mom’s gonna kill me,” she said and ran off.

“She was supposed to be at Amy’s house by nine. It’s nine fifteen. Her mom’s going to figure out that she was lying to her,” Jake explained.

“Right.”

“Can I give you your birthday present?” Jake asked, taking the ladder to come and stand by me.

“Sure?”

Jake took my hand and led me back to his house. His parents were sitting in the living room watching some summer sports or something.

“Hey boys,” Mrs. Shasta said, giving a small wave. She sort of liked me, but Mr. Shasta knew something was going on and just wouldn’t warm up to me. It was like trying to be friendly with a rock.

Jake had let go of my hand the minute we stepped into his house, but I followed him up to his room. He shut the door and pushed the lock in. Then, he went to his closet and dug around for a bit.

He came out with a big, gray blob. He handed it to me and I realized that It was some sort of elephant-looking animal made out of socks. I mean, it kind of looked like an elephant.

It was so ugly, and I wasn’t really into toys, but I loved it. “This is so awesome,” I found myself saying. I assumed that Jake and Sawyer had probably spent hours making it and that just made it even better.

“Do you like it?” Jake asked, his eyes boring into mine.

I didn’t know what to say because I really did like it, but I was afraid that whatever I said wasn’t going to sound sincere. I kissed him.

Jake sighed into my mouth. He tasted so much like Jake, obviously, but it was so nice. I knew that I said I would stop with all this; he was too young. I just couldn’t resist him though.

Jake pulled away. “Sorry,” he mumbled.

“No. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

I felt like I was cheating on Devon now too.

Jake buried his face into my shoulder.

“I have to go,” I lied.

Jake squeezed my hand, but said nothing as I left his room, clutching the toy elephant in my hand. I felt like such a child; like a child who’s just lost his favorite toy.
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Payton