Status: rewritten, weekly updates

Disgusting

Nine

Devon showed up a few hours later. He brought the smell of soap and deodorant with him. He was clean, unlike me. He smelled good and I probably didn’t. I couldn’t bring myself to care.

I locked the front door behind him and followed Devon up to my room. “We really need to talk,” he said.

I nodded. He was right. We had some serious shit to straighten out.

“We’re not dating.”

I nodded in agreement.

“So we’re just friends?” he asked.

I nodded. It was something like that.

“Just friends?”

“Friends,” I repeated,

Devon looked kind of sad and rejected. His eyes searched the floor for something that wasn’t there.

“Sorry,” I said.

“You’re fine,” Devon assured me.

“I’m really, really sorry that I’m so fucked.”

“You really aren’t, Hunter. You’re just young and I’m not sure you know what you want.”

“I definitely am.”

“Sh, Hunter. You’re beautiful okay?”

“I don’t think so.”

“You have two people who think it.”

“Two?”

“I’m sure Jake feels the same way that I do, even if he is a bit young.”

“I don’t think so. I’m not quite sure what he feels for me… and stuff.”

“And stuff?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, Hunter, I’m pretty sure that I love you and we have almost a two year age difference.”

“Really?”

“I’m a senior this year.”

“Jesus. How did I not know?”

“Age isn’t important. You have to follow your heart.”

I shrugged. “It’s all bullshit anyway.”

“But you have to realize that you and Jake aren’t really any different. You just have to put effort into it.”

“I guess. Thanks.”

I hadn’t known that Devon was a senior. The fact that I’d somehow gotten a gorgeous senior to fall in love with me was somewhat amazing to me. I was proud about that because I really didn’t believe that I was anything special.

“So what do you and your friends do?” Devon asked.

“I don’t have many,” I said. “Just you. And Jake.”

“And what do you and Jake do?”

“Talk, watch movies, play board games… other stuff.”

Devon chewed his lip. “I wish we could do other stuff.” He looked at the floor. I knew he was manipulating me, but I didn’t care all that much. “I understand that it’s not possible though.”

“I-.” Damn. I really, really wanted him. Mostly my dick wanted him, but he made me feel okay. He was a small bit of security in my rocky life. I mean, I did love him, just not in the way that he loved me.

“Do you have any movies?” he asked.

“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “I’ve never really watched any here.”

“How about we walk somewhere?”

“I don’t know.”

“Come on,” he said and pulled me up. I slipped my shoes on almost reluctantly and then Devon pulled me outside.

The sunlight made it difficult for my eyes to adjust and the cold wind whipped at my bare skin. I was wearing only a t-shirt and jeans.

Devon put a hand low down on my back. It was discreet because I knew that he didn’t want to draw attention to us, but it was reassuring to me. I think he may have noticed my goose bumps because he shrugged off his coat and handed it to me.

“Thanks,” I mumbled.

“Don’t worry, all right?”

I said nothing. I felt bad for wearing his jacket. He was probably cold.

He touched my hand with his. His hands were a lot smoother than mine. His hands were a lot smoother than Jake’s.

We ended up just walking to the Target that was sort of outside of our neighborhood just so we could people watch. We wandered around aimlessly through the store.

Devon and I ended up sitting in the gardening section under some nice fake trees on a cute decorative bench. The employee working the register in that department eyed us. She was probably Devon’s age.

“All right,” Devon spoke, breaking the silence. “I know that it’s summer break and stuff, but seriously, why is there no one in our town?”

I shrugged. It was sort of true. It was easy to feel trapped here. We lived in a small town with one school for each set of grades, no library, one Safeway, two drugstores, and a Target.

“It’s ridiculous how many people don’t live in this place.”

I nodded.

“What are we going to do when we get back to your house?” Devon asked.

That was seriously the question of the day. I shrugged in response.

“Speak to me. Tell me all that is on your mind.”

“There’s not much to do really.”

“Oh there actually is,” Devon said, looking at his hands. “We’re just not allowed to do it.” He had a lazy grin on his face.

He was mostly right. He just didn’t know that I was actually sort of dying to have him do those things to me.

I shrugged.

“Are you saying that you don’t care what we do?” he asked, playing with me.

“I’d rather be fucked than be bored.”

“You’re going to let me on top?”

“No.”

“Come on Hunter,” he said lowly and right into my ear, his breath tickling my neck.

“I really don’t-…”

“Let’s do it in the bathroom. Come on.”

“No way man. Do you know how many people piss on that floor?”

Devon shrugged. “Then let’s get home. Come on.”

He practically jogged home with me in tow.

I unlocked the door and he pushed me into the front hallway. I barely even had time to take my shoes off before he was half dragging, half carrying me up the stairs to my room.

“Christ almighty.”

Devon grinned and pulled my shirt off.

“Mmm, Hunter, let me on top. Come on.” Devon’s breathing was heavy as he spoke, and his voice was low and husky.

“I don’t know. I haven’t really…”

“Since him. I know. But don’t you ever wonder?”

“No.”

Devon shrugged, but he knew he was going to get his way.

---

Devon played with my hair as we lay in my bed.

“We’re only friends right?”

“Sorry.”

“I knew it was coming. Don’t worry about it.”

“I’m really sorry it has to be this way, but I have some things that I need to work out before we can ever be together.”

“So I’m an option?” Devon asked.

“For sure.”

It was silent for a few moments.

“How about a round two?” Devon asked, touching the back of my neck.

“How about no?”

Devon laughed quietly. He pulled me close to him so that I fit next to his body. He was so warm, I felt like I was lying next to a space heater. A t-shirt was too hot when I was sleeping with Devon.

I was sort of wired. I had no idea why, but something about anticipation for Jake’s birthday and what just happened with Devon had me absolutely unable to sleep.

I was getting really turned on, really fast. Devon felt my awkward boner against his back.

“What’s that?”

I almost groaned when he touched it.

“Nothing,” I lied.

Devon was half-sleeping so I really didn’t think he’d do anything.

He grabbed my crotch. “That doesn’t feel like nothing.”

He looked pretty wide-wake now and I definitely felt wide-awake.

“I guess it’s like morning wood at ten at night or something.”

“No big deal,” Devon said. “I can’t let you suffer though.”

“I’ll go deal. Go back to sleep.”

“No, I don’t think so.” He pushed me onto my back and trapped me underneath him.

“Please?” I begged. I had no idea what I was begging for. My brain felt all disconnected.

Devon got up to clean up afterwards.

I changed my pants and sat on the windowsill in my room. I stared down into the empty street. Nothing moved.

I checked my phone. There was a message from Jake telling me that I should be at his house around noon or so. I did a happy-dance in my head because Jake made me feel that way.

Devon came out of the bathroom. He watched me for a while. I could feel his eyes on my back, but my body was too heavy to turn and look at him.

“Something wrong?” he asked.

I shook my head a continued to stare out the window.

The quiet scene of the street below was relaxing.

“What’s wrong?” Devon pestered me for an answer.

“It’s so peaceful.”

“And?”

I shrugged.

“You’re so confusing Hunter.”

I said nothing because I was thinking about Jake.

Devon’s breath tickled my ear. I ignored him.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Fine.”

Devon was pretty persistent. That was annoying.

I glared at him so he would stop pestering me.

“I’m going to bed,” he said.

Once he was in bed, I responded to Jake’s text. He replied with a simple See you :) .
♠ ♠ ♠
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