Returning Love

Why did it scare me that Oli was going to meet Ava? Why did it scare me that I really wanted Oli to like Ava? I wasn’t too sure but I sure as hell did.

When I got home from work Maddie had just put Ava down to sleep and I was grateful that I would have at least a good three hours to clean up and get myself in a manner. Chanti was staying back at work and then going out to dinner with Matt Nichols whom she found she got along with quite well.
Time seemed to fly by and I was just putting away the dishes when I had to buzz Oliver up to our apartment.

At first it was awkward I knew it was going to be but I had hoped it wasn’t going to be quite this painful.

“So you have a kid?” he asked after a while of beating around the bush.

“Yea I do she is asleep right now” I replied I hoped he wasn’t going to judge me he couldn’t…could he?

“Who’s the farther?” He asked

“He’s not in the picture anymore, he left me the day he found out I was pregnant, so I left Australia didn’t wasn’t to have to deal with my family and his being around as well so I figured I’d do it alone” I justified

“How old is she?” he asked

“Two, almost three…she isn’t yours Oliver if that’s what your asking” I knew he was only checking but it still hurt “I wouldn’t lie to you,” I told him and he nodded looking down

“So is that where you went Australia?” He asked

I nodded silently a little afraid “I thought you would have known…I mean Tom knew” I added

“I know but I couldn’t bring myself to ask him it was too hard, I asked if you were ok and that was all I needed to know and I think I would have asked that at least 10 times a week” he sighed relaxing into the couch we were sharing a three seater sitting opposite each other my feet rested up on the couch facing one another.

“I’m sorry Oliver” I sounded defeated, I felt defeated I felt like crumbling into the couch into a million pieces and I realised just how lost I had been without him in my life.

“You didn’t have to leave,” He sounded hurt but I think we needed to have this conversation

“Maybe I didn’t,” my voice was so quite “but I was holding you back Oli…I knew it, Carol knew it and so did the boys and I couldn’t live with myself if I knew I had stopped you.”

“Aaarrrhhhh Indie” Oli let out a frustrated groan pulling at the ends of his shorter hair which caused a childish giggle to escape my lips.

“Be honest Oli…if I had asked you to not go on tour would you have gone?” I asked

“Probably not,” He and I both knew that was true and in a way it was me making my point

“Mumma” I heard this little voice I knew to be Ava come from behind the couch her voice soft and velvety.

“Hey baby come here” I called out to her and she appeared, clad in her pyjamas straight out of bed.

She seemed to spot Oliver first and from appearance alone she started crying. She had met the guys from the tattoo shop I worked at but none had quite as many tats as Oliver did and for him to be sitting in our living room scared the hell out of her.

“Hey Ava, come here baby girl” I cooed reaching out to grab her and cradle her in my arms hushing her tears. She instantly shielded her face in my neck as I took my place back on the couch with Oliver.

“What’s the matter?” I asked her quietly

“Can’t sleep,” she mumbled

“Did you have a bad dream?” I enquired and she shook her head. “Hey Ava I want you to meet someone…this is a very good friend of fine his name is Oliver” I spoke softly to her I knew he scared her. She merely shook her head pressing herself closer to my body and clinging on for dear life.

“Hey baby come here” I pulled her around so she could no longer hide in me and she sat curled up in my lap only looking at Ol through the corner of her eye. “Is he scary Ava?” I asked her cause I knew she was looking at him, she nodded her head and I giggled. “He is not,” I laughed at her getting her to relax

“You can talk to her Ol…” but he didn’t say a word though his eyes were transfixed on the scene before him he couldn’t speak he was just as scared of her as she was of him, and I knew he didn’t want to upset her again.

I had to prove to both of them that they had no reason to be scared of each other. “Oliver come here,” I said moving closer to him so that our knees were touching on the couch sitting cross legged Ava perched in my lap.

“He really isn’t scary princess,” I cooed at her “see you can pull on his like you used to pull on mummies” I giggled at her pulling on his lip ring lightly as he sat there mouth slightly agape and the sound of Ava’s babyish chuckled allowed me to let go of Oli’s lip for her to take my place pulling on it he stuck out his tounge and lightly licked over her fingers making her squeal and retreat her hand back

“And look,” I told her tracing over one of the several tattoos on his arm. “See its not that scary just like mine” I told her indicating to the tattoo on my wrist, I did have more but this was the most visible. She poked at his arm repeatedly be fore he spoke up really speaking to her for the first time “Stop poking” he laughed poking her back gently in the stomach causing her to laugh once more he was scared but he was doing well with her.

“Want to know a secret Ava he’s just a big teddy bear,” she let a massive smile reach her face before she yawned. “Are you tired sweets?” I asked her and she nodded her head dramatically, I let her crawl back into my embrace and curl up with me on the couch. “Go back to sleep baby I'll put you back in your bed later” I told her giving her hair a kiss and momentarily closing my eyes realising in the moment.

When I opened them only a moment or so later Oliver had a massive smile spread across his face and he was staring at me so intently that I felt almost shy in front of him.

“What are you staring at me for?” I asked him letting a nervous giggle escape.

“Wow…” was all he managed to say

“What?” I asked what did that mean?

“I mean I know you have a daughter but seeing you with her is just kind of amazing. She is beautiful Indie”he told me and I had to smile.

“Thanks Oli”.