Status: New Story. (:

With The Scars You Left Me

Bandage Me Up.

I jolted from my sleep, gasping and pressing a hand to my clammy forehead.

It was always the same thing. A night full of nightmares, waking up and the sun being out, spending the day in my room doing absolutely nothing, repeat.

I moved from my bed, standing up and stretching, feeling the dried tears on my face and wiping my damp cheeks. A shower was definitely called for.

Walking into the bathroom, stripping clothes off along the way I didn't dare look into the mirror. With my back turned to the mirror I pulled the curtains back and started the water, pulling my hair from the loose ponytail it was in and sticking my foot out to the water to see if it was warm enough.

Deciding it was I promptly stepped in, feeling the water cascade down my back. My hair stuck to my back and I shuddered at the thought of anything contacting my skin. I scrubbed myself down over and over again, the feeling of being dirty and unclean never leaving as my skin crawled with disgust.

I lightly shampooed and conditioned my hair and rinsed, then shut the water off and stepped out. I avoided the mirror again and wrapped a towel around myself tightly, then stepped into my room and dried my hair off so it didn't drip onto the floor.

I flicked my stereo on with the remote, Ed Sheeran filling my ears instantly as I dressed. It was hot today, so I decided on a loose black and red plaid shirt but left the sleeves rolled down, and a pair of dark blue jeans. Slipping on some fuzzy socks I carefully peeked into the hallway before making my way downstairs.

No one seemed to be home. My parents were most likely working. There was a note on the fridge and I just crumpled it and tossed it into the trash, grabbing a bowl and stocking it with grapes and apple slices. The notes always said the same thing. Something positive to try and cheer me up.

In all honesty, it made me feel worse. Popping grapes into my mouth angrily and savoring the bitter sweet taste I made my way to the living room and plopped down on the couch. There was absolutely nothing good on the TV. It was all ridiculous shows. Vampires in love, some teenager who's pregnant and 16, some girl who died and is haunting her friends with texts.

"A, really? It couldp've been something better. But A? That doesn't even sound intimidating." I muttered to myself.

Giving up my search, I turned the TV off and grabbed a book off the shelf, humming along to the music still playing upstairs.

I had a bad habit of leaving it on.

"If we take this bird in, with it's broken leg, we could nurse it." I sang softly, letting my voice drift as I cracked open the book on my lap to the page the marker was on.

"There is sweet music here that softer falls
Than petals from blown roses on the grass,
Or night-dews on still waters between walls
Of shadowy granite, in a gleaming pass;"

I read along, inhaling the smell of the crinkled pages and envisioning the scene in my head. Serenity took over my senses and I could feel my muscles loosen from their previous tension.

The words lulled me, making me sleepy and calm, I let my eyelids droop a little bit, but violently jolted awake when those green orbs appeared. I silent tear threatened to spill over but I swallowed it back, standing up and making my way upstairs shakily.

The quiet hissing of Karma calmed my nerves a little bit, reaching inside her tank I let her slither up my arm and around my neck. Sitting on the edge of my bed I sighed, changing the Pandora station to Bruno Mars. She liked him. She happily slithered around my neck, tickling me slightly and bringing a small smile to my face.

Her tongue dashed in and out of her mouth repeatedly, signalipng she was hungry. Gently lifting her off my neck so as not to scare her, I stuck her back in her tank and dropped in two mice.

She was a rattlesnake, and the only thing that didn't make me cringe when she touched me.

Tires crunched on the gravel outside but I didn't dare peek out my window. It was my father getting home, I paid no mind to it. Bringing my knees up to my chin I wrapped my arms around my legs and backed up against my headboard.

"Just like the clouds, my eyes will do the same, if you walk away, everyday it'll rain, rain, rain, rain." I sang, staring at my wall full of pictures.

I used to be so happy. My smile lit up my features, I was surrounded by people I couldn't even recognize anymore. Faces I came to love, I forgot now. No memories came to mind. Everything was shut out and I wanted to keep it that way.

Never again would I laugh or smile, or expose my body in any of the outfits I dared to wear in those pictures. Those people meant nothing to me now. I was disgusting to them, trash. Someone not to be associated with.

I shut my lids tightly and blocked out all the negative thoughts before deciding against keeping them up and taking them down, shoving them in an old shoe box.

Why torture myself and look at them, right? I accepted the fact I'd never go back to a normal life long ago.

The front door opened and I heard the sound of keys on a table.

"I'm home!!!" my father called.

I wanted nothing more than to race down stairs and give him a kiss on the cheek like I use to, but I couldn't do that anymore.

My lip trembled and I walked to my door, peeking out of it watching him come up the stairs. I mumbled out a welcome home and quickly shut my door before I could register the look of shock on his face.
It was a start, right?

I had no idea where all this sudden bravery was coming from.

A sliver of content made it's way into my core and I clung onto it, not wanting to let go of the first bit of happiness I've had since it happened.

"Teagan?" I heard from the other side of my door.

A pause, waiting for me to answer. When I didn't, I heard him again.

"Thank you."
♠ ♠ ♠
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