Fifty Words for Embarrassment

Probably my only real issue with Flo is that she assumes I'm still the super shy, incredibly reluctant to be social girl that I was at the beginning of our friendship. She was always coming up with these crazy agendas, though, and I had long since put the last of my crippling shyness behind me. After going to karaoke night in a Spanish club wearing her older sister's revealing clothing, after going and having our fortunes told, after the party and the musical that we had participated in last fall, how could I be that shy?

I knew how to handle myself. I was more than capable now of making friends. It was just an awkward, ugly duckling phase that I had been stuck in. Now I was past it and she didn't realize.

That's why it wasn't surprising at all that she invited Reed to come along when she and I decided to go out dancing the next Saturday night. She had decided to try playing matchmaker again and that I would never call him up on my own.

She was probably right, because let's face it, he had been great company but I had met him only twice before and really, did the first time even count? I thought not.

He declined, saying he had an unspecified practice to go to. So she invited him to go with us the next Friday night—or was it Saturday morning?—for our traditional first-weekend-of-the-month all-nighter. We hit up all of the local places that were open at ungodly times of night.

This time he came.

We started up with the under twenty night club, which had become a sort of regular haunt of ours. He stayed on the sidelines while Flo and I danced together, bumping and swinging and twirling and shaking. We got to really spinning, building up some good momentum, and we stumbled over to where he was, grabbed an arm each, and pulled him into the throng of dancers. Reed was a good sport, and he joined us. He even caught Flo once we stopped spinning and she lost her balance. I was quite proud of myself; I managed, barely, to remain upright without assistance.

The next stop was the local beach, which was admittedly closed after dark. We knew about a little alcove that was completely invisible to anyone on the main strips of beach, and had been coming here all our lives after dark. Not once had we been caught, though there was one night, the one on which Flo decided that we just had to try skinny dipping, when I had been completely paranoid that we'd be found.

Flo went skipping off into the water, splashing and giggling. Reed sat next to me on my favorite hunk of driftwood. I took a sip of the coffee that we had just stopped to pick up and leaned back so that I could look at the stars.

"Flo told me that coming along with you two tonight is a rite of passage," Reed said.

"Oh, it is." We had long ago decided that someone was a true friend if and only if they had participated in our all-night festivities.

"Is there some sort of ritual that I need to know about? Maybe chanting? A naked dance around a fire?"

I shrugged, enjoying the moment. "We haven't decided yet."

Reed choked on his coffee. Soon his spluttering was replaced with laughter. "I wonder why Caleb didn't bring you two around more. I mean, I met Flo ages ago, when they were together, but it's strange that you were never there. You seem inseparable."

Now I examined my toes, scrunching them under the sand. "We are." I chose not to comment on the rest. Really, I didn't think it was so strange that I had never been introduced to Reed. If Cal had been so convinced that spending time with me was all that it would take to get a relationship going then of course he hadn't brought a friend into the picture.

"Well, secret ritual or no, I'm glad I came."

"Me too." We fell into a comfortable silence, which was broken later only when Flo came sprinting over to us. "A fish! I just saw a fish! Guys, come look!"

"Do you really expect it to still be there?" I asked, holding back a smile. Reed was already up and running, though. I threw my head back and laughed, enjoying the moment… and enjoying the fact that both were so distracted by the fish that had disappeared that neither noticed when I fell backwards off of my perch.

Next, as per tradition, we went to the only diner open all night. Reed was visibly, amusingly bemused when I pulled Hungry Hungry Hippos out of Flo's trunk amid a wonderland of other old stand-bys of ours. Reed knew better by now than to question us.

At the table, I explained to him that we always played to see who got to pick what was ordered. "See, we always just get a bunch of things and split them." I had seen all kinds of reactions to this: some people embraced the idea and got really into it, while others visibly thought that we were being childish and only reluctantly participated. One girl had even insisted on ordering her own, separate food. She never came with us again.

Reed was one of those who embraced it. He made a show of stretching his fingers and rolling his shoulders in preparation. Then he creamed the two of us, which was a first.

When the waiter came, Reed was positively, shamelessly gloating as he ordered a dozen blueberry pancakes, mozzarella sticks, buffalo sliders, the monster fudge sundae, and potato skins with extra cheese.

"I'll never fit into my porn dress after tonight," Flo said, but she was smiling. A strange silence came over us, the first of the night. Then Flo's smile grew and she excused herself to go to the restroom. I leaned back against my seat and shifted so that I was facing Reed; Flo, you see, had made sure that I take the seat next to him in the booth.

"Should I be apologizing for her?" I asked.

Reed pretended to consider this. "I think not. She means well." So he was aware that Flo was not-so-slyly trying to set us up. I could feel my ears reddening and I pulled my ponytail, releasing my hair so that it would cover them.

Besides, if gave my hands something to do. I was buzzing with nervous energy. "Yeah, she always does mean well," I muttered. I sat up straighter. "So you're at the same school as me?" I went to the biggest high school in Ohio, so it was quite common to not know someone, even one who was in your grade.

"Yeah. But I was always more into art than music and theater, and I'm no honors student," he said by way of explanation. I wondered how he knew those things about me. It couldn't be by chance that he listed the only kinds of classes and extracurriculars I participated in. "Cal always liked to talk about you," Reed said. "I think you'd be surprised by the things I know about you."

"Like?"

"For one, that Florence orchestrating this," he said, gesturing between the two of us, "is completely unnecessary." I held his gaze, waiting for elaboration. "I-"

"Hey, man," said Caleb, whose entrance had gone completely unnoticed by the pair of us. I masked my disappointment. I really doubted, now, that I would ever know the rest of what he was going to say. Caleb slid into the booth, followed by a blushing Flo. "Who won the game?" Caleb asked, looking between me and Florence.

I ducked my head in exaggerated shame. "I did," Reed said. His knee bumped into mine.

"What! Unheard of! My girls are the champs," Cal replied. Uncomfortably, at Caleb's application of a possessive pronoun with regards to myself, I shifted a little closer to Reed. I hoped that Caleb saw my discomfort so that he would lay off a bit, even as I felt guilty. After all, I had always been perfectly comfortable in his company before. How could he know how greatly that had changed? Now I dreaded seeing him.

Reed wrapped an arm around my waist and tugged me closer. I looked up at him gratefully. The food came and we ate, with only Reed and Flo talking at all. Reed did not release his hold on me and I think that put Caleb in a little funk.

Still, after a little the tension broke and we were able to have real, genuine fun. Even with the addition of Caleb, we had food left on every plate, which was a sure sign of a great time. Upon leaving we split up- Reed went off with Caleb and I left with Flo. In her car, I demanded, "Why did Caleb show up? Did you know he was coming?"

"He came to see you and no, I had no idea he would. I mean, all of our friends know they're always welcome to join us at three in the morning on the first Saturday of the month here."

"Right. But you came back to the table with him."

"I saw him come in, we had a little chat, and he went back with me," Florence explained patiently. She was no stranger to my relentless questioning and was usually able to take it into stride, thank goodness.

"What did you two talk about?" I asked next.

But here's where she drew the line. "Look, Rhea, it's not always your business, what goes on with me and with Caleb. If you want to know what we talked about, I really think you should ask him. My advice would be to let it go though. You're really certain that you don't want to give it a shot with him?"

"Yes. I'm really sure," I said, recalling all too easily the feel of Reed's arm wrapped around my waist. Yeah, messing around with Cal had felt good, but that's all that it was. It hadn't felt even as real, hadn't resounded so much in me, as even a little contact with someone whose acquaintance was still relatively new to me.

And Florence was right; if that was what she and Cal had discussed, then I really didn't want to know. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. I really did wish that things could be different. Imagine how nice, how perfect it could all have been if things had fallen into place and Cal's confession at the party two weeks ago had been some long-desired dream of mine. But that just wasn't the way of it.

Flo pulled into her driveway and we got out, me grabbing my overnight bag and she collecting the groceries that we had bought. We always followed our early breakfast with movies and more eating. Usually we didn't go to bed until sometime after noon. Sunday was supposed to be the day of rest, after all.

"Hey, girls," Florence's brother said, leaning up against the door frame. Shirtless. Hector had just turned sixteen, see, and was enamored with himself. He was perfectly open with his belief that everyone else should be too.

"Hector," I said, nodding my head curtly. I had learned that it was best not to encourage him. Besides, I had been around when he was eleven years old and still slept with a stuffed horse wearing Mickey Mouse pajamas. It was hard for me to take this little phase of his too seriously.

"What are you going to be watching? I might join you," he said. Now, usually we didn't mind including him.

Some mornings, like this one, we were out of sorts and didn't want to deal with it. Florence sweetly said, "Well we were debating between Rapunzel and Bring it On. Any preferences?"

Hector winced. "Low blow, sis," he grumbled, and headed upstairs.

"I actually think Bring it On sounds great," I said, collapsing onto her couch.

Florence grinned. "I was thinking the same. You want to go heat up the queso dip while I dig up the disc?" I groaned. I didn't want to get up, but I did as she asked.

My phone started ringing while I was digging out a bowl and I answered. "Yeah?"

"Rhea?" I frowned and checked my caller ID. Why was my dad calling?

"What's up?" I asked. He never called unless he needed something.

"I was just wondering whether you're free on the nineteenth."

I quickly thought through my planner. "That's a Saturday, right? I think I'm free."

"Great! I know this is kind of sudden, but I'm getting married that day and it would be great if you could come."

"Married?" I repeated dubiously. He had been through this before. He was always being talked into marriage, only to back out at the last minute. He always said that marriage to my mother had been more than plenty for one lifetime.

"Her name is Crystal and she's very nice." That was what he had said about Lindsay, who had been nine years his junior and about Clara, who had been twelve years younger. When his girlfriends were young, he said they were very nice. When they were sluts, they were "really special."

"Has she graduated yet?" I asked, not bothering to soften my tone.

"Rhea," he scolded. It had no sway over me, though. I knew better than to take him too seriously.

"Yes, Father?" Florence had come into the room and, now that she realized who I was speaking to, rolled her eyes.

"Rhea! Get back to work!" she shouted, putting as much snap into her voice as she could. I grinned.

"Sorry, dad. My boss is calling."

"But the wedding-"

"Yes, yes, I'll come. I can bring Flo too, right?" Where I went, she went.

I heard a relieved sigh. "Yes, of course. Bring as many people as you like. We just had the Trentons call and say they couldn't make it, so we've got the space. I'll give you the time and place later. Don't work too hard, Sweetie." I snapped my phone closed.

"Thanks for that."

"What did he want?" she asked, stepping further into the room and getting out the popcorn maker.

"He says he's getting married in two weeks."

"Think he'll do it this time?"

I shrugged. "Maybe. I mean, she sounds like a real prize. He says that she's 'very nice.'"

Florence snorted. "Sure, and so's my Aunt Cleo, but no one's ever married her."

"Florence! Be nice." I chucked a chocolate at her head and it bounced off of her nose.

"Rhea! You remember what happened last time we had a food fight, yeah?" I grimaced and popped a chocolate into my mouth, where I resolved to put the remainder of the food that passed through my hands today.

And other than all of that, our day passed just as usual… you know, until my phone rang again.

This time I glanced at my screen before answering the phone. I had long ago promised myself that I wouldn't have to talk to my father twice in one day. It was just too frustrating. It wasn't him, though. In fact, the number wasn't one that I recognized at all.

"Hello?" I said, frowning. Florence and I had finally gone to bed just an hour ago. I hadn't been able to fall asleep, though, so I was on the couch watching Rugrats with Hector, who I thought was only tolerating the show because I was wearing a thin lacy cami and no bra.

I hit the mute button. "Uhm hi… Rhea?"

"Yeah?"

"My name is Lionel. I hope you don't mind, I got your number off of Reed."

"I'm not sure whether I mind yet. Why?" I searched through a mental list of people I knew but couldn't think of anyone called Lionel.

"I need your help. I'm in a band and we finally landed a gig, our first one. The catch is that we have to play Yellowcard music, lots of Yellowcard. And I don't know how familiar you are with them, but there's a violin part in all of their music and it's not the kind of thing you can bluff. Reed says you play."

"And you want me to do the show with you? What kind of show is it, exactly?" This had to be the strangest, longest day I'd had all year.

"A wedding. We have a rehearsal tonight. Say you'll come? You don't have to agree to anything yet, just try playing with us."

I rolled my shoulders and flipped so that I was hanging upside down off of the couch. I always felt like the world made more sense from this perspective. "Fine. I'll come." I said. If nothing else, it would be interesting. "But tell me, how do you know Reed?"

"He's my brother. Thanks, Rhea." There was relief, so much relief in his voice. That was enough to cement my decision. In fact, I was almost looking forward to going. I copied down his address and promised to be there at six sharp. That gave me two hours to nap, clean myself up, and go.

I glanced at Hector, who was staring covetously at the remote. "What do you say to some basketball? I've had enough of sitting around."