Have Faith In Me

I walked out of the cell steaming, my blood boiling with anger. I stomped up to the front desk, my file in hand.

"How did this fucking loon get my file?!" I was screaming at the receptionist. She was taken back and put her hands up as if to look innocent.

"You're the one in charge of all of this! How did he get it?!" I felt bad for yelling at her, but I couldn't keep my voice down.

"I- I have no idea; I'm sorry about that Mr. Fuentes," She looked down and tried not to look me in the eyes.

"Well, this is private and I'm blaming YOU," I screamed as I slammed my file down on the counter and returned to Kellin's cell. I said before that we were allowed a maximum of 20 lashes everyday, but fuck that right now. With my rope in hand I lifted it up.

"Now you're going to beat me senseless, huh?" He spoke up from the chair. The room was darkish considering the sun was shining on the other side of the jail. I lowered my hand. After a few minutes of silence he spoke up again, "What are you waiting for?" The rope wrapped around my wrist and I hit his chest with no reaction from him. "So how did you cope when your mother died?" Kellin was starting to get under my nerves. He wasn't supposed to know this. I flash backed to memories of when I saw her laying on the hospital bed, she looked so weak and I wish I could have just gotten her out of it. I wish I could have made every thing better for her and take her back to the time when she was happy. The one photo I always kept in my mind was of her. We visited a giant prairie out in the middle of nowhere. Grass grew aside with pink and red poppies. Her hair was braided in the back and she had poppies floating around in her hair. Her smile spread as wide as the Cheshire cat, and behind her the sun illuminated her silhouette. She had always told me that was one of the happiest days of her life.

For the first time in such a long time I could feel water build up into my eyes. I tried to hold it back, thinking happy thoughts. I couldn't let Kellin see me like this. I couldn't let anyone see me like this. I couldn't let Kellin know that his words had affected me. I held up the rope again and the tears soaked back down into my eyelids. I didn't stop once I started, the rope hit against his chest numerous times. In between lashes he spat out words about my past, taking another stab to my heart, "What was it like lying down on the floor, stoned out of your mind, at 3 in the morning? Did you realize that you had no friends? No one cared about you? No one ever liked you?"

"Fucking SHUT UP!" I yelled and I couldn't hold the tears back. The drugs were the biggest regret in my life, once I graduated to the harder drugs I had friends. After getting sober is when everyone left. Nobody close ever knew about my drug problem, I really hoped no one would figure out, but today quickly diminished my hopes.

"Vic, I know everything about you now," Kellin smirked, "you know that, right?" I nodded my head and I looked down trying to hide my tears that were not flowing down my face. I went to the back of the chair and untied his hands from behind his back.

"Just go, I'll be back tomorrow," I kept my head down and wiped the tears from my face. I got ready to get out of here. I didn't want anyone to notice I was crying. I hurried out of Kellin's cell.

"Wait," I heard a small voice form the corner of the chamber, unfortunately that voice belonged to no one else but Kellin. I was really hoping I'd see my mom.

"What do you want now?" I spat back to him.

"I'm sorry, I was just fucking around with you," I wasn't going to accept his apology. If this was his way of "fucking around" with me, then it hurt emotionally. "A- are you crying?" A laugh played at the back of his throat. Fuck this.

"No?" I questioned, I tried my best to cover it up.

"You are," His laughter turned hysterical.

"Fuck off," I growled and waited at the door and tried to dry my tears once again.

"Aw, poor Vic," Kellin mocked me.

I turned around to face him with tear stained cheeks, "I said fuck off Kellin!"

He obviously wasn't afraid of me. He stood next my spot on the floor. He pulled his hand up to my face and wiped the tears from my cheeks. "I'm sorry," He hummed into my ear. I wasn't going to accept it. I turned away from his face, hiding my shame. "I didn't know I was hurting you that bad," He was a fucking liar.

"You did too," I pulled away from him but his arm caught my waist, restricting me from leaving.

"Stop it Vic, you sound whiny," Kellin joked.

"You're not even supposed to know my name," I glared at him, finally turning towards him. Then it came to me why would he want to know everything about only me? Why not everyone else in this facility? "Why did you want my file?" I looked him in his eyes. Fear was in his eyes but he covered it up.

"Because," he shrugged, taking his arm off of me, but still facing me. He turned away for a second, it seemed like he was contemplating what to say. He turned back around and both of his hands pulled on my cheeks, sending me forward to meet his lips. I instantly pulled back.

"W- what the fuck?" I pushed him away from me, bewildered of what just happened.