Have Faith In Me

I wasn't going to stay after that. I closed his cell, not making any eye contact. I remember my dad telling me that there were once people who thought same-sex marriage shouldn't be legal; however, in this time people would laugh at the mere thought of that. It was accepted at every inch of the globe; I'm pretty sure. Even though it was accepted here, I was straight. In high school I was popular with the girls; I don't like to bring it up though, because I don't like to remember those days. I hated those days. I had such big dreams for a fucked up kid. I used to dream of being something that would make loads of money; money to have a big house, to have a family, and to have a good job. That had diminished after I dropped out.

I didn't want to finish the work for today so I decided it would be best to go home and try to forget everything that happened today. I turned the music all the way up when I got in the car, allowing me to forget about my regrets and my past.

Pulling into the driveway gave me a sense of security and I opened the door to my lifeless home. Plain white walls lined my house. I sat down on the couch and the television dropped down in front of the window from the roof and my fireplace lit next to me. I tried to make myself comfortable at home but nothing would work. Nothing could work. Everything reminded me of something horrid one way or another. I didn't really pay attention to what was on tv, I just let it play right in front of me.

Uninterested in what was going on around me, my stomach growled, alerting me that it was dinner time again. I started for the kitchen but something on tv had actually caught my eye. "Car crash kills woman and man. Two others are injured, and are in critical condition. The face I didn't want to see popped up before my eyes; my ex-girlfriend. In disbelief I sat myself down onto the couch, trying to corroborate what had just happened in my head. I wouldn't say that I hated her, but those years that we spent meant something to me. I wasn't going to cry though. I couldn't, I had already today; all because of Kellin. Who was he to "fuck around with me"? I needed to get my mind off of everything and the best thing for me right now was to go out with friends. Actually, I didn't know what the best thing for me was; I just wanted to do it. I left my stupid house and drove to Jaime’s.

----

"Hey dude, I didn't know you'd be over now," Jaime said that as more of a question than a statement.

"Yea, rough day, I'm just ready for tonight," I said as I walked into his house. It was smaller than mine and the landscape outside resembled the houses next to it. Inside it was painted a variety of colors from a dark yellow to a warm brown. I couldn't help but feel welcome inside of his house, especially when the smell of Mexican food lingered out from his kitchen.

We usually went out once everyone was ready, which was about 8. Tony was the last one to get off work at around that time so we usually waited for him. It used to be Tony, Jaime, Mike, and myself but Mike had moved. I was thankful that Kellin didn't bring him up or else I would of been worse than I was back there.

Jaime guided me into his room and I jumped onto his bed, laying back, and relaxing. I made myself feel at home here. Even though I wasn't here much I still felt welcome. The memories here were insane. Jaime would always have the best things to do here. I sat awkwardly on the bed and watched Jaime pick out his clothes for the night.

"How's work?" Jaime asked while holding a shirt up. I had told him about how I hated being there, and that I felt that I had much more potential to work somewhere else but this would have to do for now. I told Jaime mostly everything in my life.

"It's alright. Same thing every day, nothing's really new," I lied. I didn't want to tell Jaime about Kellin because thinking about him made me feel weird, and I didn't want to hand that over to Jaime.

"That's good," He didn't seem too interested. He had a high paying job, one that he had wanted all his life. I was a little envious but I had gotten over it over time.

"How's your job?" I didn't want to ask but I felt it was the nice thing to do.

He sighed, "Pay cuts, but I'll be fine. It just means fewer times going out." He chuckled at the last sentence because he knew how much I loved going out and partying. I looked forward to these days, and I don't look forward to much.

After about 3 hours of playing video games Tony was ready and we went to some random bar, like we always did.

----

After a few hours and a few shots the sun went down and the people came out. I wasn't going home tonight and I knew that for a fact. It wasn't that I needed a girl; it was just that I couldn't stand to be alone another night. So maybe I did need someone. And with the alcohol I wouldn't deal very well if I did go home alone.

I went from groups of girls and their girlfriends. Every girl that I've came in contact with lately has been snobbish, arrogant, or just stuck up. I got out of that group fast if any of those characteristics belonged to any of them.

My vision and judgment became cloudy after a few more shots throughout the night. I would probably have to walk to a hotel or even home tonight. Eventually I found a suitable girl and I invited her home with me. This night would mean nothing of course. Her long blonde hair reached down to her belly button and her purple dress was as short as it could be without it showing anything too revealing. Eventually she saw nothing in me and left, she turned down another street- her bare feet hitting the pavement with her high heels in hand. I stuck my middle finger up at her and started for my house, alone and stumbling. The alcohol wasn't doing its job and I started to think about everything I shouldn't be.

Eventually I was on my road at something o'clock at night, lonely and depressed. I shuffled my way into my car and I drove. I didn't really have any destination and I just drove around the city. Everyone was supposed to be in their homes at least at 12 am. I was the lonely car on the street. I wasn't worried because I always broke the rules like this and never got caught; plus it was to just not go home.

I found myself at my work, the one place I loathed the most. I was thinking about visiting Kellin and just talking for the night, then in the morning the alcohol would be worn off and we'd go back to our usual positions. I shook my head at the thought but my hands turned the steering wheel into the parking lot. I needed someone, just someone, a friend right now. Kellin was the only person I could think of. He already knew everything about me. Jaime was probably drunk out of his mind, so he was out of the option.

I was the only car occupying the lot and I unlocked the front door. Almost instantly I heard yelling, moans, and screams; anger, pleasure and fear blending together inside of one building. I walked past every prisoner, all of them staring at me like I was there for a jail break. Haha, no. I found myself in Kellin's cell. The floor was shinier than the other cells and it was tinted red, with blood.

I guess Kellin had finally realized that someone entered and he turned around to look at me. He sat on the ground, his legs were crisscross in front of him and his head hug down. I couldn't see his face very well, considering it was almost pitch black in here. The full moon didn't provide much light. He tried his best to cover up his almost naked, bloody body. He was in nothing but his boxers, and they too were soaked in blood. I didn't think Kellin would be like most of the other prisoners, since he had actually talked so much more and didn't seem afraid of me. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. This situation at another other time wouldn't have an effect on me, but I bent down to Kellin as he sat on the floor.

"Go away," He muttered just loud enough that I could hear him.

"No," I whispered. I wasn't going to leave him like this.