Have Faith In Me

I sat down next to Kellin, the blood on the floor stained my jeans but I didn't mind. As we sat in silence I wondered what it was like to be like him; to have nowhere to go, nothing to look forward to, and no one to visit. I stared at the black wall made of stones, they all had different characteristics and I was soon enthralled by the different textures and shapes. I could feel Kellin's eyes beating down on me; he was watching, questioning my every move. As I finally went to go feel the different mountains and valleys in the stones his eyes followed me. His eyes were scrutinizing my every move; and he was reading me like a book. My shuffling towards the wall was the only sound that filled up this prison; everyone had gone to sleep or decided that it was time to shut up. Leaving Kellin in the same corner as he was before, I walked around and felt the stones.

"Every one of those has its own story behind it, kinda like people," Kellin's voice echoed in the tiny room. His statement had brought up a whole new concept to me. Every stone had its past, and present, and future. They all had differences. Their stories might not be as enriched as us humans, but it was a good comparison. Most of them looked like lava rocks, the ones you would go to the sight of a dormant or extinct volcano and pick up. It started out with lava tumbling over it, scorching hot and over years it just dries and that gets caked onto it. Then, if the volcano becomes dormant grass might sprout out from underneath the ground, giving life to the whole area. It's a good analogy for when one door closes another one opens.

I wandered around the room until I met Kellin's bloody body again. I sat down next to him in the place where I was before. He didn't look over at me, he just held his wrist and examined the blade in the other hand. Prisoners had more razors than meals.

I know this was kind of a stupid question to ask but fuck it, "Are you okay?"

He gave the are-you-fucking-kidding-me look and I cursed myself for being so dumb. I just wanted to learn more about him, I don't know why, but I did. Maybe, it was just the alcohol thinking for me or maybe it really was myself, but my thoughts were quickly cut off by Kellin.

"I told myself things would get better- everyone tells me that things will get better, but I'm the fucking proof that it doesn't," He could barely talk.

"You-"

"Don't you dare tell me that I don't know that, because I have the scars to prove it, Vic," His voice raised but I really doubt he cared if anyone woke up. I looked down at the bloody ground. Then at Kellin. My eyes fell onto his chest, the hideous scars and healing cuts were spread out from his collar bone all the way down to his belly button. I couldn't help feel sympathy for him, I couldn't help feel some sympathy for everyone in here, but in my mind they all deserved it. My eyes fell onto Kellin's face, tears rolled down his cheeks and his eyes were filled with new ones that were about to spill over any second now. I raised my hand to his face and placed my palm on his cheek while wiping off the trails from the tears. I wanted to help, in that second I truly wanted to help. His eyes met mine and this was the first time that I've ever got to see them so close and actually get a good look at them. His eyes scintillated in the little light that flowed in here, and I soon got lost inside of those blue eyes. They told me that he had hope, hope for a better future. His shoulder-length, long, dark hair contrasted with the paleness of his skin. The illuminating moon shined on it to make the whiteness noticeable. But his eyes told a story that I may never find out.

After about a few minutes he had calmed down, his tears stopped flowing. I played with my hands, I was anxious. I needed to get home, the front desk girl would be here anytime and I didn't want her to know I was here. It might of been illegal, me being here, but I didn't care. I could always blame it on the alcohol. "I have to get home, I'll see you tomorrow." I stood up next to Kellin and after I opened his cell and I walked down the hallway. This time I wasn't being stared at by all these prisoners, because they were still asleep. I got in my car and drove off, luckily the guard was late today so I didn't have to worry about him. I drove home and changed into my normal clothing. Even though I had gotten no sleep last night and I could feel the headache from the hangover coming, I still felt fine to go through the day. I knew I had something else to do today in work after the usual, but I forgot and shrugged it off, it could wait till I got there.

Eventually, I was on my way back to work driving down the same street and going to the same place that I did every day. Now I have actually realized how cookie-cutter my life is. I can't blame Kellin for calling me brainwashed; I was just like everyone else. I was so self-centered that I didn't have the time to stop and think about others. Kellin had opened me up to that. I have no idea how he's taking my mind, pulling it open and examining my every flaw. He was picking and pulling at thoughts that have been pushed into my head since I was born. No one ever questioned those, and I knew Kellin had become something else to me.

I struggled to get out of the car and to move fast, because my body just wasn't feeling like it right now. I walked up to the front desk lady, who looked too terrified to even look at me anymore. She handed me the schedule for the day and I went into the locker room deeper into the facility to get the "tools" for today. No one did anything last night, so I kind of wondered why time and different devices had been tacked onto some people's details on the schedule. I didn't think much of it and I went to the first cell. The guy that had been here for years and I was sure was about to pass away soon. Nothing was ever added or subtracted to his details, so it was always the daily routine for him. He was already in the chair, but he didn't need to be tied, I don't know why, he just never wanted it. I raised the rope in my hand before he stopped me, his arms out, “Wait, I heard you come in here last night." Shit. I didn't want anyone to know that I specifically went to Kellin last night.