You've Got to Die Laughing

I quickly evacuate the monster of a hospital and escape into the solitude of my car. I lay my head against the steering wheel and let my raking breaths take their course on my body. It takes everything I can do to keep myself from crying, yet again. I start up the car and Five for Fighting's "100 Years" comes on. Great. Just what I need. Some guy singing that I have got so much life to live for. That everyone's guaranteed 100 years. Yeah, I know better.

I peel out of the parking lot and try to keep my head clear and level as I pull into five o'clock traffic. I'm debating on whether I should just make the trip to the manor in the morning or if I should go now. Five minutes later, I realize that I'm headed back to the manor and I take a deep breath as I try to mentally prepare myself for this sure to be trip down memory lane.

Before the accident, we all lived in the manor: Grandpa and Grandma, Mom and Dad, me and Alex. All one big happy family. After the accident, mom and I moved out and as far away as she could stand to be. As soon as I turned eighteen, I moved back into the area and got a small one bed, one bath apartment. Distance might have worked for mom, but I could never stand being that far away from where we were happy.

I pull into the winding, gravel driveway and take in the surroundings. It's been more than eight years since I've been back at the manor. Yes, I wanted to be close, but that didn't mean that I wanted to relive it all every day. As the manor came into view, I got a pang in my stomach as I realized Grandpa had basically been living here alone. After mom and I left, Grandma got all over zealous on us and was spending more than half the year in various third world countries trying to "shine God's light on the less fortunate". Yeah, give me a break. More like she's been running from her problems and trying to cover them up by staying constantly busy building homes and trying to make ways for the people there to have clean water. It's not that I don't respect what she's trying to do, it's just that it's not helping her or Grandpa any with her being hundreds or thousands of miles away. It just kills me that Grandpa lives in this huge place all by himself after his son died. It just doesn't seem right.

I stop the car in front of the giant oak doors and kill the engine. It started to rain slightly so I pull my hoodie up over my auburn hair and run out of the car, slamming the door behind me. Quickly racing up the steps, I huddle underneath the awning and ring the doorbell. James, Grandpa's housekeeper, opens the door.

"Ah, Miss Summers, do come in out of the rain. I've been expecting you," his deep voice rings. He steps aside and holds the door open. Grandpa hired James shortly after the accident, I believe mostly to keep him company. He can't be that much older than me, but he's got an old soul with eyes that say he's seen a lot.

I hop over the threshold and slide my hood off. "Expecting me?" I ask.

"Ah, yes. In all the time your grandfather and I have spent together, we had a discussion about what would happen if anything were to happen to him. You remember where the library is, don't you?"

"Yes, thanks James. I'll...be down shortly." I hurry off towards the stairs. Man, that was weird. But I guess it was kind of expected with a man like Grandpa. He sure does like his secrets. I find the library doors pretty easily even though I hadn't stepped foot in it in eight years. I pull open the heavy oak doors and I'm greeted with the heavenly sight of rows upon rows of books. Not the books that you would find today in a bookstore about vampire love triangles and zombie apocalypses, but old vintage volumes that either expand your intellect about anything from birds to physics or old time classics like Journey to the Center of the Earth or 1984.

Back wall, top of middle shelf. What did that mean? The top of the middle shelf? I make my way through the maze of bookshelves and came up to the back wall. Quickly counting, there was nine shelves. I look at the fifth shelf, but there isn't a book just laying on top of the other ones. Thinking it might have fallen, I start removing books off the shelf and setting them on the floor. After all the books are laying on the ground, I still can't find any book that might have fallen. Leather bound Grandpa said. I start going through the books again, but none are leather bound. Great. Grandpa's lost it. I start to put a book back when I feel something weird carved onto the bottom of the sixth shelf. I turn my head so I can look at it better, and sure enough, carved into the wood was a small journal. Actually, it's kind of sticking out a little, almost like a button, so I push on it. It slides right into the shelf and something clicks. I hear what sounds like a bunch of gears clicking and turning and the bookshelf I'm standing at pops open like a door. Okay, that's not normal. Well, I'd come this far.

I tuck my fingers into the opening and pull the bookshelf open. Laying behind it lies what looks like a private study. There's an oak desk sitting dead center of the room and a bed in the corner. Other than that, the room is pretty sparse. I walk around the desk and sit in the seat, trying to find a way to open the drawers but they're not budging. Great. I slump down and rest my head in my palm, staring at the random desk ornaments Grandpa kept on the desk. There's a crystal skull, a feathered pen sitting in an ink well, and an odd looking box with a bunch of tiny detailed designs scribed into it.

I pick up the box and hear another click. I look at the source of the click, and see that the skull's mouth had open. Resting right inside of the teeth was a little brass key. Grabbing the key, I lean down and try to line it up with keyhole in the drawer. It slides in just fine and I turn the key. When I do, the drawer slides open and resting inside is an old leather bound journal. Finally! I pull it out and set it on top of the desk. I'm tempted to open it and read it myself, but Grandpa specifically asked me not to do that. Sighing and slightly intrigued, I try to see if the key fits the other drawers. It doesn't. Just the one. Well, Grandpa did just say to grab the journal. I should leave it at that. I close the drawer and stand, tucking the journal under my arm. I leave the room and shut the book shelf. I stop for a moment to replace all the books on the fifth shelf and turn to leave.

I make my way back to the front of the library and stop short in my tracks. James is leaning up against the door. "Find what you were looking for?" He asks with a smile.

"Yeah, actually, I did. Thanks." Awkwardly, I try to make my way around him.

"Your grandfather also told me to make you aware that you are more than welcome to stay here during this...journey," James says.

I turn back around to face him. I swallow hard and think about it for a second. "Thanks, but no thanks. There's too many memories," I say gesturing to the air around us.

He nods and smiles sadly. "I understand Miss Summers. The offer stands for as long as the journey lasts, so if ever you change your mind, don't hesitate. This is where your grandfather wants you."

He starts to walk with me back to the door. "Thanks James. And thanks for being so good to my grandfather. He's really needed something constant in his life. Our family... well we aren't all that dependable. I appreciate it."

He waves it off. "Please. Your grandfather is such a good man. It's really not so hard to lend an ear once in a while and to just be another presence in this huge manor."

I feel another pang of hurt in my stomach. "You live here James?" I just now realize.

He nods with a small smile lighting his face. "Yes. Your grandfather... well let's just say he's been lonely with Lois off on another corner of the planet. In all the time I've worked here, I haven't met the woman once. From what I hear, she's wonderful."

"Wait, Grandma hasn't been here in eight years?" I ask.

James nods again. "Like I said, your grandfather has been lonely. It's been just him for such a long time."

"Well thanks James. Really, I mean it."

James quirks an eyebrow. "Don't mention it. I'll be seeing you around." He holds the door open and smiles as if he knows something I don't. He probably does but I don't have time to worry about that now.

"Yeah, take care." I look outside and it's stopped raining now. Still, I run out to my car and turn the key in the ignition quickly. I head back to my apartment, wondering for the first time in a long while what tomorrow holds in store.