Babe, I'm Gonna Leave You

When he placed his lips just below my ear and breathed “Come over,” before pulling me next to him in the cab we had all piled in, I nodded my head without hesitation.

We laughed all the way up the driveway to his home. When we got to the door, his warm hand had found a comfortable resting spot on the top of my hip while his other hand unlocked the door. As if my head wasn’t spinning already just from being in his presence, when I saw the inside of his house, I was stunned.

“Wow...” I whispered, barely audible. He didn’t hear me and instead walked into the large kitchen, switching on a dim light. I took it upon myself to wander around, hoping he wouldn’t mind too much.

It was far from cluttered: posh furniture was strategically placed around the spacious living room. The couches were a magnificent shade of burgundy and the large recliner in the corner was a brooding shade of brown. Cleanly cut end tables were at the end of both couches, holding up unlit lamps with modern bases. The TV on the front wall was slick: it had probably cost about as much as my entire flat did.

Before I looked any further, I could feel my stomach twisting in unexplained knots. My throat felt dry and my head felt lighter than before. The first complete sentence to run through my head was that I shouldn’t have come back with Niall. I should have just gotten the cab to take me back to my own hole in the wall, no matter how small it may be. Because being here, surrounded by so much money and class made me feel odd. Even a little worthless.

“Josie?” His voice trailed through the deafening quiet estate. I turned around slowly to see him leaning against a wall, a soft smile brightening up his features. My stomach flipped and I could feel my face contorting into a funny lopsided grin in return.

“C’mere for a minute, yeah?” I followed him into the kitchen, that was equally as impressive as the living room. I don’t know why I had expected any less. What was really driving me crazy, however, was that he didn’t seem to notice. He hadn’t said a thing about the expensive trinkets scattered about, or the astonishingly stunning the pots and pans were that were hanging above the island in the kitchen. If his pots and pans were enough to make me wide-eyed, I didn’t want to see the rest of the house. I wanted to hang out with Niall, for old time’s sake and maybe because I couldn’t keep my eyes off of him. But the intimidation I felt screaming inside of me was too much to bear.

When he pulled out a chair for me, however, and rested his hand on my own for a brief moment as he sat down, I forgot whatever thoughts were scurrying around in my mind.

“How come this is the first time I’ve seen ya in ages?”

I shrugged. “You’ve been pretty busy, rockstar.”

He chuckled and for the first time of the night, I could see the tiny white braces on his teeth. It had been too dark in the bar previously for me to notice them. They were cute. “‘Rockstar,’” he scratched behind his ear. “That’s hardly the right term, love.”

I smiled and shrugged once more apologetically in a nonchalant manner.

“But really.” His blue eyes set on mine. “Guess I never realized how much I liked you until I hadn’t seen you in ages.” The seriousness in his voice made my cheeks flush. “It’s exhausting sometimes,” he began about his music, “but I love it. I really do.”

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, I excused myself to the bathroom. I had to, or otherwise I was positive my head was going to explode. I couldn’t seem to be able to keep my composure with Niall Horan staring at me with those eyes of his in this more than lovely home of his. It proved to be a lot to comprehend, especially with alcohol still lingering in my blood. I splashed some water on my face gingerly and headed back into the kitchen. He wasn’t there.

“Niall?” I whispered.

“Josie, you’re such a beautiful girl, y’know that?” He said casually as I looked up to see him strolling down his staircase. I bit my lip. “Especially when you bite your lip.” He laughed fondly and before I knew it, he was standing dangerously in front of me. I kept thinking about kissing him. I know Niall, but not enough to kiss him. But I wanted to--I wanted to so badly. And I’m not exactly sure why.

When there were no words being exchanged in the small space between us, I heard the thought in my head that I couldn’t stop thinking: “If I could kiss him, there’d be no turning back.”

I knew myself. I knew that when I liked somebody--really liked them, it was easy for me to pretend I felt nothing of the sort. Easy until the feeling was suggested to be mutual--either by holding hands or admitting it or kissing. Because after that, my facade of nonchalance was always broken.

With him breathing the same small pocket of air as me in silence, my heart was beating so frantically I thought for a moment that I might pass out. And in a brief moment, the way his eyes searched mine, I thought maybe he might be feeling the same thing. The alcohol was wearing off for the both of us, but he was intoxicating in and of himself.

But then, I broke away. I backed up and smiled briefly before looking at the ground. I had to back away before I lost control of my body. He sighed and pulled me back. I felt his arms wrap around the tops of my shoulders and he held me tightly against his chest.

“I’m surely not letting you mosey on home at four in the morning, so I’ll get ya some clothes, yeah?” He nuzzled his chin gently on the top of my head and I smile against his chest. “Make you a comfortable spot in the bed and let you get some sleep.” I can hear the small, sleepy smile in his voice. “Now,” he pulled me away and held me at arms length, looking down to me. “Up we go.” His fingers found mine and fell intertwined into mine as he led me up the staircase.

“This is the most comfortable I’ve been in a long time,” I mumbled half asleep to Niall as I crawled into the guest bed, wearing his clothes.

I rested my head on the pillow and sighed lightly as I closed my heavy eyelids finally.

“I”m glad, darlin’.” And then I fell asleep.