Something That I Can't Explain

Kellin's breath was warm against the back of my neck. He must have gotten in late last night since I don't remember him coming home. He was either really excited or really upset about something, that's the only reason he'd be sleeping in my bed with me right now.

"Taybaby, you're up! I have the best news to tell you!" Kellin whispered excitedly in my ear as I turned to face him.

"Oh really? What's up?"

"We're going on tour after we finish recording!"

"Oh Kel! I'm so happy for you guys, you deserve this, you've worked so hard for it." I said brushing the hair out of his face.

Kellin's gaze was endless, it was like looking into a clear blue sky. Easy to get lost in, and even easier to fall in love with. I could feel the soft, minty lips of his meet mine lightly spinning my head in circles.

"Taylor.. I just.. I need you to know something before I leave for this tour in a few weeks.. No matter how far away I am, I'm always going to be with you okay?"

"I know, but try to stay positive okay? You aren't gone just yet." I said getting out of the bed grabbing my robe off the hook. "What do ya say I make everyone pancakes, eggs, and sausage for breakfast?"

"Blueberry?"

"There isn't any other kind in the world I'd make. Go call the guys."

Kellin kissed me once more sending my head on a ride. I made tons of food knowing the guys would devour it before I had a chance to blink. Kellin and I had to sell our original dining room set just to get a bigger one that all of us could fit at.

"So, you look a little.. flushed." Justin whispered nudging my arm.

"He kissed me.. twice. I don't know what to take it as."

"A sign. We both know Kellin doesn't know how to just come out and say he wants to be with someone, especially someone as close as you are to him. Which is why, I took it upon myself to get you permission from our label and manager to come on our first tour with us. Maybe then Kellin will see how much he needs to be with you."

My heart soared. Justin had been trying so hard the past few months to get me and Kellin to become a couple. Which, I wanted nothing more than just a shot with him.

"Taylor, that was the best breakfast to date. I don't know how we'd survive without you around!" Gabe said his mouth full with his late bite of food.

"Well thank you. Let me take these dishes." I said grabbing the stacks of plates from the table putting them in the hot soapy water to soak. I hung my head feeling the stress hit me like a ton of bricks.

"You alright?" Kellin whispered wrapping his lanky arms around my waist.

"Yeah, just a little cloudy minded. Did you hear that I'm coming on tour with you guys? Justin just told me the news."

"I didn't know that! I knew we've been pushing for you to come but I didn't think they'd cave." He said hugging me tight enough I should have died, but I felt like I was in heaven. I was right where I both wanted to be, and needed to be. With the one person who had me wrapped around their finger.

"I'm pretty excited to be there with you guys! I feel all special and stuff being their for the first everything you've done with this band Kel. I couldn't be more proud of my best friend."

Kellin hugged me once more, nuzzling his head into the crook of my neck.

"All of this is for you Tay." he whispered kissing my cheek softly before grabbing the cases of beer from the fridge. "Let's celebrate!" he hollered across the apartment to the guys spread out amoungst the room.

I looked around at the faces of my family. They had slow, but definitely become my life. I'd give anything to make sure everything they ever dreamed of for this band came true.

After all the guys left Kellin and I sat in the living room with my sketch pad designing new shirts for the band to take on tour with them. Everything from crew necks, to tank tops with the craziest designs you could imagine. When Kellin and I did something together, and we put our minds to it we were unstoppable. I could hear his phne vibrating non-stop in his pocket annoying the heck out of me.

"Who the fuck is blowing your phone up?"

"Just this girl I've been seeing the past few weeks, Chelsea. I think I might really like her." he said his face turning cherry red.

"Oh.. Why don't you answer her then.. I can finish these designs." I said packing my things up to take into my room as he answered his phone. I could hear her squeaky preppy annoying voice come through the speaker. I shut my door half hard half soft trying to make it less noticable that I was upset. It wasn't like Kellin to not tell me he was seeing someone. He usually would come to me within the first day of meeting someone new ready to have me pass jusdgement on them like they were having their judgement day.

"Yeah, you can come over babe. I'll see you in ten." Kellin said happily hanging up his phone when I went to grab a bottle of water. I could feel the heat in my body boiling.

Did he really just invite some nasty girl over our apartment i thought feeling the floor shake beneath my slam of the fridge door.

"Are you alright Tay?" Kellin said startled looking in my direction.

"Am I alright? No I'm not alright! You can't just fucking invite people over with out me okaying it, this is MY apartment too you know!" I said through my teeth staring at his intensely.

"I'm sorry, I just--"

"No, fuck you Kellin. You haven't been thinking of anyone but yourself since we got here! Have fun with whats-her-face. I'm going to someone elses place for the night."

I said leaving, the front door wide open as I raced down the stairs to Justin's apartment banging on the door.

"Taylor?" he said pulling me into a hug wiping the stray tears from my face. "What's going on?"

"He invited some girl over our apartment.. He didn't even ask me if it was okay. He just did it as if it's just HIS place. I don't go inviting people he doesn't know over, not that I'd want to but still. It's so rude. He hasn't been thinking of anyone but himself since we got here and he met her."

"Oh Tay.." Justin whispered pulling me inside shutting the door. "You can stay here if you want to tonight. Or however many nights you need. Just don't say anything you'd regret babe." he said kissing the top of my head and I layed on the couch. The living room was dark, quiet and it gave me safety to think. I knew I'd never be able to fully hate Kellin but he wasn't my Kellin anymore, and that's what I hated most. He was changing into something unrecognizable..