Something That I Can't Explain

"Tay.. Hey, Tay.. Come on, it's time to wake up." Justin whispered rubbing his rough hand up and down my back.

"Five more minutes?" I muttered burying my face into my pillow

"Come on Tay.. We're going out to breakfast. I've already pushed it back as long as I could, they're getting cranky and you have to go back to your place so you can change."

"Will you come with me.. I don't wanna go alone.." I whispered feeling the tears starting to sting in my eyes.

"Of course babe." he said helping me off the couch while I collected myself.

We walked up the stairs that led to Kellin and I's apartment the front door slightly cracked. I heard the yelling from downstairs but I didn't think they were coming from our apartment.

"What the fuck?" I whispered to Justin peaking in the door. The tall dark haired girl and Kellin were screaming back and forth at each other almost setting me off. She just kept shoving him back each time she got a word in.

"STOP ACTING LIKE A SELFISH BITCH CHELSEA. NOT EVERYTHING CAN GO YOUR FUCKING WAY!" Kellin screamed as I opened the door.

"And just who the fuck are you?" she spat in Justin and I's direction.

"First of all, I don't have to tell you who the fuck I am because I live here and secondly if I ever see you put your hands on Kellin again it's your ass. I suggest you leave my apartment now before you do something you're going to regret. There's the door."

"Taylor I--"

"Save it." I muttered looking from Chelsea to Kellin. She was irrating as hell but the more she realized I was serious the closer she got to the door.

"I'll leave you two alone? We're leaving in twenty." Justin whispered shutting the door behind him.

"I'm sorry.. I didn't mean for everything to happen the way it did last night Taylor, I really didn't think you'd be as upset as you were.."

"It doesn't matter right now Kellin.. I don't ever want her in this apartment again, seeing her shoving you like that set me off. I don't ever want to see her face again."

"Do you forgive me.."

"You're still me best friend Kels. Through thick and thin." I said squeezing his hand.

"Good.. Cause, right now I could use my best friend." he said his eyes filling with tears.

"Oh Kellin. It's going to be okay, trust me." I whispered hugging him tight, forgetting how mad I was at him.

Kellin and I changed and met the guys at our favorite local diner. It was a small, locally owned place where everyone knew your name and what you usually ordered.

"Mornin' guys." Susan, our usual waitress said seating us at the corner booth "The usual?"

"Yes ma'am." Jesse said happily winking at Susan who laughed, like she always did and put our order in asking the guys about how their recording was going and everything while Kellin sat their quiet staring at his phone blinking away the tears filling his eyes.

"You okay?" I whispered covering his screen with my hand.

"No.. She won't quit. I'll never get away from her Tay.. Ever. She's madder than hell.."

"What happened anyway?"

"She went to go to the bathroom to take a shower this morning and opened your door thinking it was the bathroom and just flipped out on me like I'd done something wrong and she kept slapping me around and I just.. I don't know what to do.." he whispered squeezing his hand into a tight fist."

"Well we'll go change your number after breakfast, then if she shows up at the apartment she won't be dealing with you anymore, she'll be dealing with me." It wouldn't be the first time i've fought someone for Kellin. It happened a lot in high school. If it wasn't one thing it was another with him. He could never get away from it.

"I just. I hate myself right now."

I didn't know what to say or what to do. I just wanted to save him from this whole thing, make him stop hurting. He was dying inside, slowly and painfully and everyone could see it. I watched silently squeezing Kellin's hand every now and then while we all ate our breakfast the guys laughing and talking amoungst each other.

Kellin and I made a trip to the phone store, switching his number and all of his contacts over and calling his mom to keep her posted on how life was, making it sound all peaches and cream to save her from the heartache of knowing how deeply her son was hurting. I drove us home watching Kellin stare out the window.

"Try writing a song Kels.. It's helped before, maybe it'll help now." I said pulling up to our apartment.

"Maybe.. I just. I feel so lost.. Like, I'll never be the old me i used to."

"You aren't broken Kellin, you're still the same kid you just need a little directing to get back where you were. Besides you only have a week in the studio and then two weeks before we leave. You just need to relax Kel, none of us will let anything happen to you alright?"

I could feel Kellin's pain as if it were my own. His feelings were something I could feel no matter how far away we were from each other.