Falling for You Was Out of My Control

Jessie's POV
I had felt so bad about going off at Vero the other day and I knew I needed to apologize before Evgeni and I went away otherwise I would be losing more than I already had.

"Hi," I stood sadly in front of her as she opened the door.
"Hey," she offered a small smile, "come in."

"Vero," I kicked my shoes off before stepping inside, "I am sorry about the other day."
"Jessie don't worry about it, Evgeni told me you had been stressed lately, I get it."
"Wait did he tell you why?" I frowned turning around in the foyer.
"No he said you would tell me when you were ready, do you want something to drink?" I followed her into the kitchen.

I wasn’t really thirsty but I took the glass of water that she set on the counter for me anyways.
“Now what happened to you playing basketball?” she sat up on the bench and waited for me to talk.

I didn’t want to say it, not because I didn’t want to tell her but every time I said the word I broke down in tears and thought about how much we were missing out on.

“Jessie,” she slipped off the bench and walked over to me putting her hands on my shoulders, “is that why you are acting this way?”
“Sort of,” I shrugged.
“Well, why did you quit... Jessie you know you can tell me anything right?”
“I had a miscarriage…”

“Oh Jessie,” she pulled me in for a hug, “sweetie I am so sorry. If anyone deserves to have a child it’s you.”
“No, no I didn’t want to have kids yet,” I shook my head, “until now... Having kids with Evgeni is what I want.”
“You just need time,” she pulled away and cupped my face, “you need time and once you are ready you will know.”
“But I didn’t know, I just wanted to play basketball.”
“I know,” she pulled me back into her arms, “it’s confusing and sometimes you aren’t sure but when it happens everything changes.”
“I know.”
“But there’s something you didn’t know… I had a lot of trouble getting pregnant and Marc and I would fight and get upset at each other because nothing seemed to be going right.”
“Really?” I didn’t think those two could ever have problems, they were like some fairy tale story and while I didn’t want that pure perfection I just wanted to be happy.
“Yes it was hard and this is going to be hard for both of you but you just have to stick with it ok?”
“Ok,” as if on cue Annabelle began crying.

I followed Vero into the nursery where her crying little girl was standing holding onto the crib in tears wanting her mother.

“They are worth every argument, every tear, everything life tries to throw at you and say you can’t do it, they are worth it,” I watched as she picked up her little girl who wrapped her arms around her mother and held on as if her life depended on it.

“But how do you know you are ready? How do you know it’s the right decision?”
“You don’t,” she shrugged, “you just work around it.”

“Vero!” Marc’s particular French accent rang through the house.
“Coming,” she called out and we headed back out into the kitchen where Marc was gulping down a glass of juice and Evgeni sat on the stool by the bench.

“Hey,” he opened his arms for me to walk into, “how you?” he kissed my lips.
“Good, how was packing?” I rested my head on his chest as he rubbed small circles on my back.
“Will miss rink but get time with you now,” he squeezed me tighter before letting me go but keeping his hands on my waist.

I loved how close Evgeni liked to be. I loved how he always liked to hold me and it was just so reassuring making my feel like the only person in the world that mattered to him.

Annabelle’s head shot up from Veronique’s shoulder and she grasped the air for Evgeni.

Vero handed her over and the little girl settled in his arms as if it was nothing.
“She loves her Uncle Geno,” Vero smiled running her hand over Annabelle’s head.

We moved into the lounge room and I watched Evgeni with Annabelle. She looked around with tired eyes, rubbing them profusely before he slipped her pacifier in her mouth and she flopped her head onto his shoulder burying her face into his neck.
“Here,” I draped the blanket over her back and she snuggled into his chest closer.

All I needed was time and Evgeni and I would have this, we would have our own child, our own family, our own little life.