Falling for You Was Out of My Control
I Just Want To Be Happy Again
Evgeni’s POV
I loved Jessie, she was the most important person to me and I would do anything for her. I just wished that we could be happy.
“Jessie,” I rolled over in bed and propped myself up on my elbow so I could look at her. She laid on her side, cheek pressed into the pillow as she gripped tightly onto it.
“How you feeling?” I tucked a lose strand of hair behind her ear and let my fingers trail down the side of her face to tilt her jaw up so she would look at me.
“I am ok,” she whispered.
I sighed and moved closer encasing her in my arms. I needed to protect her, I needed to be there for her. She had given up so much for me already, she was always there for me and the least I could do was be there for her too.
Staying at my parents’ house though made it easier for us to ignore the elephant in the room. They were there so we didn’t fight, we didn’t talk we just pretended everything was ok. Well we tried to at least. But we both knew that we weren’t fine, that without the support of our family and friends there was no way we were going to get through all this.
“Zhenya,” my mother knocked on the door, “Denis is here and breakfast is ready. I made pancakes for Jessie.”
“Coming.”
“Want breakfast, mama made pancakes for you,” I knew it was probably unfair making it seem like my mother went the extra mile for her but that was just what my mum did and if would get Jessie to eat something and be herself then I was going to be as unfair as I could possibly be.
Jessie’s POV
I knew Evgeni was just trying to be there for me but the only thing I wanted so much I wasn’t going to get. Evgeni and I were never going to have kids of our own. We weren’t going to have that big happy family that I knew he wanted so much. But I knew I could love him, I could try and make him happy.
I couldn’t keep my eyes off of Evgeni as I watched him play with his niece. Kids complicated things that was for sure but not being able to have kids as an option was atrocious.
“Hey,” I sat down on the floor in the lounge room with them as Eva chewed on a plush cow while she sat in Evgeni’s lap.
The little girl looked at me briefly before turning her attention back to stare up at the television watching with wide eyes.
“She love Masha,” Evgeni ran his hand through her short brown hair pulling her head back to plant a kiss on her forehead making her giggle and pull away to look back at the characters on the screen.
Eva was an adorable little girl. She was so cute and smiling and I could see how much she meant to Evgeni.
Granted it was hard to see little kids and be completely ok with it but coming to accept what was what was going to take time. Time was all I needed, time and Evgeni’s support and everything would be ok.
“One day,” he stepped behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist resting his head on shoulder so he could look down at the little girl asleep in her cot.
“It’s not going to happen on its own,” I linked my hands with his and let my head rest against his.
“But one day we be happy,” he turned me around I looked right at him. His eyes were full of hope and I could only wish that would be soon.
I loved Jessie, she was the most important person to me and I would do anything for her. I just wished that we could be happy.
“Jessie,” I rolled over in bed and propped myself up on my elbow so I could look at her. She laid on her side, cheek pressed into the pillow as she gripped tightly onto it.
“How you feeling?” I tucked a lose strand of hair behind her ear and let my fingers trail down the side of her face to tilt her jaw up so she would look at me.
“I am ok,” she whispered.
I sighed and moved closer encasing her in my arms. I needed to protect her, I needed to be there for her. She had given up so much for me already, she was always there for me and the least I could do was be there for her too.
Staying at my parents’ house though made it easier for us to ignore the elephant in the room. They were there so we didn’t fight, we didn’t talk we just pretended everything was ok. Well we tried to at least. But we both knew that we weren’t fine, that without the support of our family and friends there was no way we were going to get through all this.
“Zhenya,” my mother knocked on the door, “Denis is here and breakfast is ready. I made pancakes for Jessie.”
“Coming.”
“Want breakfast, mama made pancakes for you,” I knew it was probably unfair making it seem like my mother went the extra mile for her but that was just what my mum did and if would get Jessie to eat something and be herself then I was going to be as unfair as I could possibly be.
Jessie’s POV
I knew Evgeni was just trying to be there for me but the only thing I wanted so much I wasn’t going to get. Evgeni and I were never going to have kids of our own. We weren’t going to have that big happy family that I knew he wanted so much. But I knew I could love him, I could try and make him happy.
I couldn’t keep my eyes off of Evgeni as I watched him play with his niece. Kids complicated things that was for sure but not being able to have kids as an option was atrocious.
“Hey,” I sat down on the floor in the lounge room with them as Eva chewed on a plush cow while she sat in Evgeni’s lap.
The little girl looked at me briefly before turning her attention back to stare up at the television watching with wide eyes.
“She love Masha,” Evgeni ran his hand through her short brown hair pulling her head back to plant a kiss on her forehead making her giggle and pull away to look back at the characters on the screen.
Eva was an adorable little girl. She was so cute and smiling and I could see how much she meant to Evgeni.
Granted it was hard to see little kids and be completely ok with it but coming to accept what was what was going to take time. Time was all I needed, time and Evgeni’s support and everything would be ok.
“One day,” he stepped behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist resting his head on shoulder so he could look down at the little girl asleep in her cot.
“It’s not going to happen on its own,” I linked my hands with his and let my head rest against his.
“But one day we be happy,” he turned me around I looked right at him. His eyes were full of hope and I could only wish that would be soon.