Falling for You Was Out of My Control

Jessie's POV
“They don’t want an answer now, I am just saying you should think about it,” Ksenia got up and headed out leaving me in the small nursery with the little boy.

I sat back and looked at him watching his chest rise and fall as he slept in my lap. He had the darkest brown hair, the cutest little nose and chubby little cheeks. His hand was still clenched around my finger like it was calming him and he didn’t seem like he wanted to let go any time soon.

I heard someone’s heavy footsteps approaching the door. I looked up and saw Evgeni standing there leaning against the doorframe with a soft smile on his face.

“His name is Andrei,” I looked back down at the little boy as Evgeni stepped quietly over to us.
“Andrei,” he repeated as if he was testing the sound of the name as he knelt down in front of me, “is cute,” Evgeni reached out and touched him softly brushing his finger up his arm.

Andrei flinched and tightened his grip around my finger pulling his free hand up to his face like he was hiding. He truly was the most precious thing I had ever seen.

“He was abandoned two days ago.”
“Why people do it?” he frowned shaking his head, “make me angry.”
“I know,” I put my hand on his shoulder, “it makes me angry too.”

Some people didn’t realise just how lucky they were. Not being able to have kids made me angry that people could just take that privilege and abuse it. I know that some people just can’t and they have their reasons but it still just ticks me off.

“Do you want to hold him?”
“Ok,” he stood up and we switched places before I set the tiny boy down in Evgeni’s arms. I slipped my finger away and instantly he began crying.
“No sweetie, don’t cry, please don’t cry,” I felt myself getting worried that he was upset.

His face was red, eyes screwed shut, his little mouth open wide being as vocal as possible.
“Here,” I grabbed Evgeni’s hand and let Andrei grab his finger, “there you go,” I stroked his cheek, “shhh,” I soothed him.

“Expert,” Evgeni looked up and smiled at me.
“No I just care a lot,” I sat on the arm of the chair and put my hand on top of Andrei’s little head running my thumb back and forth as he settled again.

There was no way I wanted to leave the little boy, he was too precious, he was amazing in every sense of the word and I couldn’t help but feel drawn to him, feel like I needed to protect him.

But by the time we got home I was already feeling guilty about leaving, putting his tiny body back into the cot and tucking him in with a soft toy in his grasp to keep him happy while he slept and just leaving.

We sat down at the table and ate dinner, more picked at dinner. Evgeni was in his own little world and I was very much in mine, but there was no doubt in my mind we were thinking about the same thing.

“What do you think of Andrei?” I spoke up killing the silence that filled the house.
“I think he cute,” Evgeni smiled before taking another bite of his food.

I let the silence sink again trying to think of a way to ask him instead there was nothing I could think of so I just said it, “would you consider adopting him?”
I looked up at Evgeni as he continued to chew his piece of steak with that look of his face. His head was tilted, his eyes narrowed as he took the question in and thought about it, “I would.”
“You would?” I couldn’t stop myself from smiling.
“Yes,” he smiled back before continuing with his food.

“He has a hole in his heart,” I stated picking at my peas.
I looked up at Evgeni as he froze before he slowly lifted his eyes to look at me.
“He’s sick?” he frowned putting his knife and fork down.
“Yeah,” I put my cutlery down too.
“That make you not want to adopt him?”
“Do you think we are ready to adopt?”
“I think you ready.”
“But are you?”
“I think so,” he nodded, “I good with Annabelle, I good with Eva and Victoria and Natalie too.”
“But you can’t just be good with them when you want to be.”
“I know.”
“You have to be there for them all the time,” I warned.
“I will be,” he smiled.
“You have to be ready for the nappies, the tears, the sleepless nights, the bruised knees,” his smile grew wider with each little thing I mentioned.
“First time skate, first time walk, when he smile, when he laugh, sneaks into our room because he has nightmare,” Evgeni began listing things himself, “I know,” he reached over and grabbed my hand, “and I ready.”