Our Wasted Youth

The time was three in the afternoon, school was just letting out. Streams of students flew past me, eager to get home on this blessedly sunny Thursday. I was sitting in the shade of one of the few trees on the grassy area of the courtyard. The sun shone all around me, but I was kept cool by the sweet canopy of leaves above me. The air smelled like summer- sunscreen, gasoline, and too much Axe body spray. Fingering the torn edge of my open notebook's page, I tried to pick through the people walking past me. Everyone was moving so fast, desperate to get away from the teachers and classes. School was wrapping up in a few weeks, tomorrow was the seniors last day and prom night.

I felt like any opportunity I had to get Zack alone was thwarted by everyone else. First, the guys wanted to spend Monday and Tuesday's lunches discussing the upcoming album, what days they could record and what songs should make it. Many of my free moment were spent going over plans for prom with Jamie. Not to mention Blythe trying to stage another confrontation just a few short hours ago. The universe was just not working for me this week.

I was walking through west wing of the building, searching for a certain someone's locker. Four lockers, two placed on top, two on the bottom, made up the last section right before the advanced placement English classroom. The one in the top-left corner had a Third Eye Blind sticker across the front, stuck there by Rian the second week of school. The edges of the sticker where starting to peel off due to the humidity of the last few days. I could almost imagine Jack squatting in front of his locker, yelling at Rian for "accidentally" dropping a book on his head. The four of them were currently no where to be seen, giving me the prime opportunity to leave a note in Zack's locker, asking him to meet me in the courtyard as soon as school let out.

I ran my fingers over the cool metal of the front of the locker. The blue paint was chipping, exposing the mixture of old paint colors underneath. Zack never locked his locker, so it was easy to pop it open and stick a note on the inside of the door. I stuck in next to a picture of all of us taken a few weeks ago after their set at The Ottobar. Joey wanted a picture to put on the website and had the guys line up in front of the stage. Jamie, Lena, and I photo bombed it- Jamie jumping on Alex's back, Lena and I making weird faces in the background. Joey had laughed and printed out copies for all of us to have.

I was admiring the different band posters and pictures he had hanging on the inside of his locker when the door slammed shut. I moved my fingers in the nick of time, nearly losing the tips of my fingers to the deadly jaws of Zack's locker. I panicked for a second, worried it was Zack thinking I was snooping in his locker. When I looked up, I was met by a pair of melons straining against a tube top. I don't remember Zack having boobs, or breaking dress code to wear a tube top.

Mustering up some confidence, I straightened up to my full height. Unfortunately, I still only came up to Blythe's shoulder. "Hello Blythe, I didn't know decent clothing was optional this time of year."

Blythe flipped her auburn curls over her shoulder and rolled her eyes. "Well not all of us choose to dress like a twelve year old." She lifted the edge of my skirt and dropped it. "Still wearing a knee-length skirt? Cute."

"I know you didn't just crawl from the abyss just to call my skirt cute. What's up?"

She sighed and tugged at her top. The neon pink fabric stretched down to cover a little more of her midriff, almost reaching the top of her denim shorts. I guess in contrast, my outfit was a little less mature. I was perfectly content in my purple sleeveless top and black skirt, so Blythe could kiss my ass.

"I wanted to talk to you. Do you think you could hear me out for a second?"

I glanced around, trying to find one of the guys or Jamie. I mentally prayed for someone to call me away from this conversation. I had been avoiding Blythe for as long as possible. Looks like today was the day the running stopped and finally had a little heart to heart. Maybe it would be good to get some closure. Then we could walk away and never associate with each other every again, everybody wins.

I adjusted my backpack and nodded. "Go for it."

"Look, I know this is probably way too late but I wanted to apologize. I shouldn't have hung you out to dry like that. I just wanted to make friends with Juliana, and it just seemed like you were holding me back. You hide behind that little notebook of yours and don't even try to fit in. You're just so content to hide in the shadows."

For those of you in the cheap seats, allow me to explain. Juliana and her crew are the top of the line popular girls- they get all the guys and look like they walked out of the pages of teen vogue. Blythe has been trying to fit in with that crew since seventh grade, when she decided the music we used to listen to together was weird and that the way we used to dress was too alternative. She ditched the jeans and the chuck taylors for miniskirts and Coach and let her pixie cut grow out. I had stuck by her until Juliana took notice and swept Blythe away to the world of parties, high-end fashion, and late night hookups with hot guys. And I was left in the dust, not knowing what to do with myself.

Blythe was my ticket to a social life, and had been since we met in first grade. I didn't know what to do with myself. Now, I'm not saying I'm totally blameless. I should have had other friends and not revolved my world around one person. I just didn't know how. I was living in my own little world and didn't know how to branch out and talk to other people. That world shattered and I was left hanging onto a life preserver made of paper and cardboard. Talking to Alex in front of my locker that day helped proved to myself I could talk to other people, I could make friends, and the world wouldn't open up underneath me and swallow me whole.

"Was." I whispered.

"What?"

"I was so content to hide in the shadows. In case you haven't noticed, I've made friends."

She pushed a piece of hair behind her ear before leaning against Jack's locker. "You honestly can't call those people friends, can you? They're freaks! They listen to weird music and look like emo wannabees!

"Blythe Isobel York, you cannot honestly tell me you have forgotten where you came from!" Now she had me pissed. How dare she lean against Alex's locker and insult him or any of them. She used to be just like them! I could see her and Jamie getting along great! But that was before she joined the snob patrol. Anyone slightly different than Juliana and her friends were freaks, people unfit to hang out with. "You used to be just like us! Then you gave it all up!"

"I'm happy now Willow! Did you think I was happy sitting in the backseat of life with you?! Did you honestly think I was content with being like you? I wanted so much more than I got being friends with you! I have that now, and in fact I was coming over to offer you a second chance."

"What?"

"I wanted to offer you the chance to be friends with some different people. Some better people. I'll help you fit in with them, don't worry! It would be just like old times! Willow and Blythe! The dream team! Come on, I'll introduce you to them right now." She grabbed my wrist and started to drag me.

I hung onto Zack's locker and shook her off. "No."

She spun around to face me. "Excuse me?"

"I don't want to go with you. I'm happy too, now. I have friends I love. I wouldn't ditch them for you and your groupies."

"Willow, try and be reasonable."

"Why? If you're happy and I'm happy why are we going to argue?"

She made a face and shook her head. "I don't think you understand, Juliana is giving you a chance."

"Just tell her thanks but I'm not interested. Why do you care anyway?"

"We used to be so close."

I sighed. "I know, but you're the one who said you wanted so much more than I could give you."

She ran her fingers through her hair. "Juliana is not going to like this. She's wanted you to join our circle."

"Why? What does she want with me?"

"Don't you get it? She wants it in with those guys you hang around! She wants to be able to say she was friends with them in case they ever make the big time."

Oh no shit. So Juliana wanted a first class ticket into being friends with the up and coming band. I didn't even have to wonder how she had heard about them, the guys had been going around trying to get people to buy the copies of the EP that Mrs. Young has sent us. A way to get the name out, as she had put it.

"Tell Juliana that if she wants to be friends with the guys she can talk to them herself. Or does she not want to be seen with those kind of people? But if their famous that's just fine, right?" I seethed. I turned away from her and began to talk down the hallway.

"You're going to regret this!" Blythe called behind me.

What did that mean? Whatever, I didn't care any more. The nerve of them! How dare they want to be friends with someone just because they might be famous someday. Disgust weighed heavy in my chest as I left Blythe behind, wanting to put as much distance between her and I as possible.

That was over now. The whole "you'll regret this" thing still freaked me a bit, but I couldn't harp on it. Someone sat next to me, dragging me out of my thoughts. I smiled at the familiar black hair and crooked smile.

"You wanted to see me?" Zack asked, leaning against the tree.

"Yeah, I wanted to talk to you for a few minutes." I straightened my skirt over my legs and took a deep breath. "Remember the other night when you asked me if I was nervous? Well, I lied. I'm a little nervous." I confessed.

He nudged me with his shoulder. "Do I make you nervous?"

"It's not so much you as it is I don't really know you."

He cocked his head to the side. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that we've never spent that much time together alone. Most of the time we're with everyone else. We don't know that much about each other. What if tomorrow night sucks for you because I'm a lousy person?"

He scooted closer and wrapped his arm around me. "Look at me." I turned my face to meet his gaze. "Tomorrow night is not going to suck, understood? Now, as far as getting to know each other goes, how about you ask me a question and then I ask you a question. Okay?"

"Right now?"

He chuckled. "I've got a little bit. And if it makes you less nervous about tomorrow night, I'm willing to do it."

So, we talked. We went back and forth asking whatever we wanted of each other. I found out his favorite color was purple and he did in fact think his hair was cool. I told him the story of my most embarrassing moment; I ran into a screen door and popped it out of place while talking to a very attractive young man. He told me about how long he had been playing bass and how he ended up singing backing vocals. I told him a little bit about my writing and even showed him my notebook. He flipped through it before resting on a page.

"Do you have a crush on Alex?" He asked, reading over what was there.

"I had a little bit of one. I guess I grew out of it, he was one of the first guys who took notice of me."

He nodded and handed the notebook back to me. "So you don't have a crush on him any more?"

I shook my head and smiled. "No."

"Cool. That would have made tomorrow night awkward. So are you still nervous?"

I laughed and nudged him. "No, I'm just excited now. We're going to have fun."

"Of course we are! Now come on, I'll walk you home."

He stood up and took my hand, helping me up. The courtyard was nearly deserted of people at this point, just a few teachers here and there taking their time and talking to each other. Zack was still hanging on to my hand as left the school grounds and starting making our way towards my house. Cars passed us, a few honked and I waved. Zack looked at me with eyebrows raised and I just said I was trying to be polite. He chuckled and shook his head again. We passed Jack's house and saw that Mrs. Barakat's flowers were in full bloom, colorful bursts of blues and yellows. Next, we passed Jamie's house and Zack waved at Jamie's dad who was sitting on the front porch.

"You might want to tell Jamie to keep the curtains closed tomorrow, we're getting ready at Jack's."

"Oh great, nothing like getting dressed to the nines with your date right next door."

"Speaking of which, what color is your dress?"

I blinked. "What?"

He flicked his hair out of his eyes. "I was wondering what color your dress was."

"Oh, it's yellow."

He looked at me. "Yellow?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

"You wear a lot of purple and black. I didn't expect yellow."

I shrugged. "When I went out looking for one, I couldn't find a lot in my size. I was about to give up and just order one online when I came across this little yellow one. It reminded me of the dress Belle wears in Beauty and the Beast. I really liked it and it just so happens it was my size." I smiled remembering how much I had loved it when I tried it on.

"So I'm the beast huh?" He asked.

I grinned and squeezed his hand a little. "No, you would be Prince Adam. That's who the beast really is."

"That makes things so much better. It looks like we've reached our destination."

I looked up and saw we were standing at the edge of my walkway. "So we are."

He walked me to the front door and looked around for a second thinking. He must of decided on something because then he pulled me into a hug. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. It caught me by surprise for a second before I returned it. It was warm, like being wrapped in a blanket fresh from the dryer. I could feel his heart beating, the steady beat comforting. I relaxed against him and closed my eyes for a second, taking a breath.

He let go and cleared his throat. "I'll see you tomorrow." He murmured before taking off.

I opened the door and felt an icy blast from the air conditioning. "Who was that?" My mom called.

"Just me!" I answered, dropping my bag by the closet.

"I meant the boy. I know he's one of your guy friends but I wasn't sure which one."

"Oh that was Zack." I explained walking into the dining room to find her bent over paperwork. She pushed her glasses to the top of her head and glanced up at me. "Your prom date?"

I giggled. "Yeah, my prom date."

"I look forward to taking a million pictures of the two of you tomorrow night. Meeting at Jamie's house, right?"

I nodded before heading upstairs to my room. I wanted to try on my dress one last time.