Girl Corrupted

Suicide letters?
I glared at the paper in my hand, hesitant.

"Read it." Jesse demanded.

Reluctant to read, I opened my mouth stuttering the first word.

"Dear to whom it may concern," I started.
"I don't want to live anymore. I think it's time to end it all. I can't handle all these voices in my head, if you were me then you'd understand. But you're not me... I don't expect you to understand, when I can't even understand myself.
I love you guys, I really do, but I just can't live like this anymore. I am sorry.
Signed, Jesse."
What did I just read?
"Jesse, how many of these did you write?" I asked concerned.
"Alot." He replied, "I wrote that when I was 13."
"But why?" I questioned.
"I just...... Gave up...... I guess..." Jesse hesitated.
"But. It's not the end unless you make it the end. Remember?" I reminded him.

Jesse gave me a bright smile and kissed me on the cheek.

"You make me happy," he remarked. "You know that right? You're the only reason why I'm still breathing. If it wasn't for you Maria, I would've been killed myself in this place."

I've never felt so special in my life, it was hard to believe that I was keeping someone alive.

"Really?" I said shocked.
"Yes," he started, "you're the only person keeping me sane."

I hugged him tightly,
"you too my love." I whispered in his ear.

I let go of him, and for 5 minutes there was an awkward silence.
I just listened to the sound of the clock ticking and the obnoxious voices of people outside Jesse's room.

"Baby." He said suddenly.

I looked up from my scars and at him.

"Yes?" I replied.
"I have to ask you a question." He began
Oh god.
"What kind of questioned?" I uttered.
"A personal one." He said.
"Okay, shoot." I replied.

His eyes lingered on my thighs, he was very hesitant.

"Are you a virgin?" Jesse blurted out.
That's all?
"Yes." I replied.
"Seriously?" He gasped.
"Yes!" I giggled. "Why is that so surprising to you?"
"Because there's not a lot of 16 year old virgins left in the world." He chuckled.

I laughed and nudged his shoulder while he smiled at me.

"Well I've been in this place most of my life, I couldn't lose my virginity." I claimed.
"You have a valid point." Jesse said trying to sound smart.

I chuckled and then started to wonder, was he a virgin too?
I was too embarassed to ask, so I didn't .
There was a couple of knocks at the door and it sounded like more then one person.

"Come in!" Jesse called.

I saw one head peek in the door, then I saw another one.
Figures.
It was just Karen and Desiree, but the vibe was very weird.
Karen gave me a look that's she never given me before. Not evil. But more then that.
Sinister.
What the hell? What did I do to you?
I was upset enough I didn't have time to deal with Karen's shit so I just let it rock.

"Wassup guys?" Jesse asked.
"We actually came in here to get Maria." Desiree replied.
"No, you came in here to get Maria." Said Karen rudely.
What the fuck?
"Okay then...." I said hesitantly.
"Jesse wanna come to the cafeteria with me?" Karen asked pretending that I wasn't standing there.
What is up with her?

Jesse gave me a "I'm sorry I don't wanna make her upset" look
and I gave him a "fine go ahead" look.
We talked with our eyes alot , that's what I liked about our relationship, we can tell what we're saying without speaking.
He left with Karen, leaving me with Desiree.

"Desiree why is Karen acting like such a bitch?" I announced.
"I don't even know Maria, I was gonna ask you the same thing. Karen wasn't acting like that until we stepped inside this room." She answered.
Mm, I wonder what's going on.
"Let's go." I said determined.

I grabbed Desirees arm and walked out of the door.

"Where are we going?" She questioned.
"To the damn cafeteria. I'm getting my man." I said with pride.

I rushed past all the people with my hand on Desiree's arm. I tended to lose Desiree through big crowds often.
We approached the cafeteria doors just peering through the rectangular window like stalkers.

"There they are!" Desiree pointed out.

They were sitting together at the back table laughing.

"I wonder what they're laughing about." I said.
"Me too. Let's go in there!" Desiree exclaimed.
"No, no, not yet, we gotta be ninjas about this. We gotta do this right." I assured.
"Typical Maria." Desiree chuckled.

We continued to peer through the glass, waiting for the right moment to walk through those doors.