Momentum

He found himself at her door, his fist hovering above the wood grain and his brown eyes fixated on the bronze apartment number. His breathing was shallow, that familiar, unmistakable feeling as if somehow he’d gotten his heart lodged in his throat. The silver tie around his neck strangled him; his favorite pair of sneakers were far too tight around his toes. Before he knocked, his free hand reached to tug at the neckline of his cardigan, gently fanning himself off so maybe he wouldn’t look quite so flustered. Of course, it didn’t help. It just made him look like a middle-aged woman having a hot flash.

And somehow, this was everything he’d ever wanted.

Logan Mitchell was just waiting for the ball to drop, because no one in life ever got exactly what they wanted. There was always some sort of catch, and here he was, ready for his first date with the girl of his dreams, the same girl that also happened to be his best friend, and he was on the verge of a panic attack.

It was her smile that brought him back down to earth, the sound of her lazy drawl that eased his nerves as she peeked out at him through the cracked doorway.

“Hey.” Her voice was softer than usual as she looked up at him nervously from beneath her lashes, but there was still that underlying enthusiasm lacing each and every syllable. “How are you?”

Her smile was reflected onto his lips, his dimples digging into the bases of his cheeks. “I’m fine.” His dark eyes traversed her frame before darting back up to meet her gaze. “Are you ready to go?”

“Mhm.” Her lips stayed suspended in that subtle curve of a smile as her eyes tilted towards the ceiling above them. “This is ridiculous,” she remarked almost to herself, her voice lifting with the sound of laughter. “Come here.”

Kandi pulled him in close, weaving her arms around his neck. As she let her chin rest on his shoulder, he could smell the coconut scent of her shampoo with each inhale, and he slowly began to feel at peace.

“That’s more like it,” she murmured as she pulled away. “So what’s the game plan for tonight?”

And just like that, the inherent awkwardness of a first date seemed to dissipate into the air around them. The two of them were no longer “Logan and Kandi, boyfriend and girlfriend,” they were simply Logan and Kandi. This was just their new normal.

“Well, I know we’ve done this a million times, but I thought we could do the whole typical date-y date deal and go out to dinner, catch a movie after.” He reached out to press the button on the elevator.

“I’m down. What movie did you have in mind?”

“I know you’re into the whole vampire romance thing,” he teased her as the two of them walked into the waiting elevator.

She scoffed. “I’ve had enough vampire romance to do me for the rest of my life, but I guess a romance movie would be a good way to go.” Her eyebrows wriggled against her fair skin as she glanced over at him.

Though Logan was just teasing her, he could certainly understand her sentiment. After all, she was the one and only Kandi Jenkins, star of Varsity Vampires 3 and former flame of Hollywood hunk Dak Zevon, but to Logan, she was still the same girl he’d met over a year ago when she’d first moved into his apartment building.

Thinking back to that first afternoon, Logan realized that their entire relationship had been a blur of subtle smiles, nervous laughter, and the erratic pitter-patter of his heart in his chest.

The first time Logan Mitchell laid eyes on Kandi Jenkins, he’d been spying on her in the lobby. While he was, by no means, a stalker or any form of creeper, two of his best friends had convinced him that he needed to ask the new girl in the building out, a task that Logan wasn’t good at even with girls he knew, let alone a stranger.

“Come on, Logan, just go down to the lobby with us,” James pleaded with him. “She’s perfect for you! We even brought you a tree hat.” He plopped the camouflage baseball cap adorned with poorly hot glue gunned twigs and fake ivy leaves on the shorter boy’s head.

Logan looked to Kendall, the voice of reason of their group of friends, for backup, but all the blonde-headed boy could offer his friend was a simple shrug. “He’s right. She’s perfect for you.”

Before he could protest any further, his two friends had dragged him down to the lobby. The three of them ducked down behind the fake bushes in the space, and while he had to admit, even then, he thought she was cute, he had never been more embarrassed in his life. And of course, she caught them, but to his surprise, it was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Those awkward moments had brought them to where they were today, and truthfully, he wouldn’t have had it any other way. He didn’t know why he’d expect their first date to be any different.

As his brown eyes watched the floor numbers tick off, he could feel the gentle glide of her arm as it hooked into his. The tips of her fingers grazed against his open palm, and as Logan glanced over at her, he didn’t notice any sign of the anxiety that was beginning to bubble up inside of him. She was just smiling up at him as if it was nothing, like it was the easiest thing in the world, and a part of him couldn’t help but envy her for it.

Diverting his gaze to the brown carpet beneath their feet, Logan noticed the silhouette of her pointed ballet flats, the black patent finish shimmering in the dim light, and his thoughts wandered back to nights spent in her apartment.

Even though they were both only seventeen and, under any normal circumstances, they’d never be allowed to spend that much time alone together, Ms. Jenkins worked for one of the biggest marketing firms in Los Angeles, so she was always either away on business or working late, a little detail that he knew bothered Kandi. She offered him her apartment for those times when he needed a break from his three roommates, and though she said the words so casually, he knew it was because she needed it more than he did. She was afraid of being alone.

Some nights she’d come back from a date or a Hollywood event with Dak, always kicking her heels off across the linoleum floor and clutching a cramped foot as she made her way over to the couch to sit beside him.

Kandi hated wearing high heels. She told him she felt like she was constantly on the verge of falling over whenever she wore them, but there was a substantial height difference between her and Dak, so she had to wear heels whenever they went out. It looked better for photos, or at least that was her excuse.

Logan just thought it was biology’s way of telling her that she and Dak were completely wrong for each other, but he was more than a bit biased.

The ding of the elevator shook him from his thoughts, and he couldn’t help but smile to himself as Kandi almost dragged him out of the small space and into the lobby. As he watched her smile and wave to their friends and acquaintances hanging out in the lobby, he noticed that there was no trace of fear or embarrassment in her features.

Her grip only unraveled from his once she spotted one of her friends sitting in one of the comfy orange armchairs, flipping through a magazine.

“I’m gonna go say hi to Jen before we go,” she said, and though he was reluctant, Logan followed her across the room.

The two girls discussed a class they had together, a possible lunch and shopping excursion, and Jennifer complimented her on her hair. All the while, Logan was standing beside her, trying to play the role of the perfect boyfriend with a smile plastered on his face as he tried to nod at all the appropriate moments, but all he wanted was to just have her to himself for once. He’d been her best friend all of this time, had shared her with everyone else, but now that they were together, he wanted it to be just the two of them for once. He didn’t think he was asking for too much.

Kandi must’ve caught the hint in the rigidity of his posture, because she was quick to excuse herself from the conversation. “Okay girl, I’ll catch up with you later. We’re gonna be late for our movie.”

“Okay, have fun!”

She blew an air kiss at her friend before hurrying along with Logan, both of them desperate to get out of the building before they got sidetracked in conversation with someone else.

“You still haven’t decided what movie you want to see,” he prompted her as he opened the passenger’s side door on his dusty rose-colored convertible. “Since you’re too good for vampire romance and everything.”

She waited until he was settled in the driver’s seat before she responded. “Okay, promise you won’t judge me.”

Eyes the color of honey shifted towards him, her gaze locked on his as she waited for an answer.

“Have I ever judged you?” He laughed as he turned the key in the ignition.

“Yes.”

“Well, I swear I won’t this time.”

“Okay, so I know this is really cheesy and cliché and I’ll probably end up crying, but I kinda wanna see the new Nicolas Sparks movie.”

Logan fought back his own laugher. “Okay, why?”

“Logan! You said you wouldn’t judge me,” she gushed, her cheeks flushing pink as she stared at him in her feigned disbelief with her mouth agape.

“I didn’t say anything!”

“You’re over there laughing at me.” He loved the way her voice grew pitchy when she was all high-strung like that.

“It’s just, it’s not the sort of thing I’d expect you to be into. I never pegged you as a fan of sappy romance.”

“Oh, I’m not,” she was quick to bite back as Logan slowly began to maneuver the car from its parking space. “His films just remind me of home, that’s all.”

“So you’re from a sappy romance movie?” he had to joke, even though he was fully aware of what she really meant.

“No!” She reached over and smacked his thigh, forgetting for a moment that he was driving. “He sets all of his novels along the coast of North Carolina, and the beaches in North Carolina aren’t all that different from the beaches in South Carolina, and since I haven’t gotten a chance to go back there yet…and after all this shit with Dak…” Kandi stared at her hands in her lap as she spoke. “I just feel like this city’s getting to me, and I need something to remind me of who I am and where I’ve come from.”

Pulling out onto the highway, Logan wasn’t quite sure of how to respond, so he just slowly nodded and reached for the knob on the radio, filling the space with music. It was times like this that he had a tendency of forgetting that she’d just suffered through a highly publicized breakup, and although Logan had been able to break things off with Camille as if it was nothing, Kandi had really felt something for Dak. It didn’t help that most of the tabloids had torn her apart, making it look as if she’d been cheating on Dak with Logan, despite even Dak’s comments to the contrary.

Kandi made it look so easy, but he knew she still bore those scars.

The upbeat pop tune seemed way to obnoxious for the occasion, but as Logan reached to change the station, the girl in the passenger’s side stopped him.

“I like this song.” Her lips parted as if she wanted to say something else, but the words never came.

In an effort to make her laugh, Logan began singing along to the lyrics streaming from the speakers. It was something that Kandi always did whenever they were in the car together, the carefree sound of her voice constantly managed to lift away some of the stress that weighed down his bones.

“The way you can cut a rug, watching you is the only drug I need. So gangster, I’m so thug. You’re the only one I’m dreaming of.” Logan finished out the last verse, but she was quick to pick up on the chorus.

“Hey, hey-ey-ey-ey-ey, hey-ey-ey-ey-ey”

The two of them seemed to constantly drift back and forth over that line between the ease of being best friends and the awkward, unknown territory of being a couple.

>>

After a good fifteen minutes cruising around the nearest parking garage in search of a space, they walked down the block to the theater together, hand in hand. Being out together on the streets of Los Angeles was much easier than being together in their building, if only because, out on the streets, no one had any expectations of them, they could just be themselves. Back in the building, because everyone knew one another and generally knew everyone else’s business, there was always this unspoken but still felt judgment of them as a couple. Everyone had their own bets and opinions concerning whether or not the two of them would stay together, and it was difficult to escape that pressure and just be together.

“You know, I really wanna see that Warm Bodies movie when it comes out,” Kandi announced as they walked passed a jewelry boutique.

Though Logan had never considered himself good with girls or reading other people, he knew Kandi well enough to know that she was testing the waters.

“We should go then,” he replied as he shoved his free hand into the pocket of his sweater. “It’s not something I’d normally be into, but the previews look kind of interesting.”

“I like romance, and I like zombies, so that’s just a win-win in my book.”

“To be honest, I’m not too big on zombies,” he admitted, glancing over to gauge her reaction. “It’s all just illogical to me, and I’m not a fan of all the gore.”

“Are you serious?” she asked with a laugh. “You guys sit around in the apartment for hours at a time hacking away at that BioBlast 4 game, which is probably the most disgusting video game I’ve ever seen, and you tell me that you have a problem with some blood and guts.”

“That’s different though. It’s a competition,” he tried to explain, but in the end, he just felt dumb. “It’s a guy thing, I guess. I can slay the guys in BioBlast 4 without an issue, but seeing all that junk in a movie is a little too much for me.”

“It’s okay, I get it.” She smiled at him. “After all, we all have our quirks. Personally, I can’t stand being in the room when someone else is clipping their nails. Disgusts me.”

“Now that’s weird.”

She scrunched up her nose. “I don’t know, something about the sound just makes me cringe.”

They were silent for a moment as they walked together, watching the cars zoom by on the street and peeking into the shop windows they passed. It was a comfortable silence though, and the city that buzzed and sparked around them said everything they needed to say.

Logan stole a glance at Kandi. The dim light from the streetlamps above cast her features in a warm glow, making her fair skin appear softer, her eyes that much more vibrant. Day by day, he watched her grow more and more into herself, back into the girl she’d been when he’d first met her. It was like this slow unraveling right before his eyes, from this personification of young Hollywood that she had become when she was dating Dak back to the average girl-next-door, only this time, she was stronger and a little less naïve.

Her heart had been broken, but she hadn’t given up on love.

It was then that he noticed he’d never gotten a chance to see the way she looked when she was going out on a date, the way she presented herself when she was trying to impress someone. He’d only been around to observe the aftermath, when her feet were killing her, her hair was falling down, and her eyeliner was smudged around her eyes. The usual mess of chestnut waves that ran down her back had been loosely curled, but they still clung to a bit of their wild and unruly nature. The black blazer that she tugged over her chest to block out some of the chill was a step up from the hoodies and sweatshirts he was used to seeing her in, and while he was flattered that she tried to look nice for him, he didn’t need it. She could’ve come out with him in sweats and a baggy t-shirt for all he cared.

She was still his best friend, and he was still hopelessly in love with her. The clothes she wore, the makeup she put on her face, and the way she did her hair would never change that.

“I’ll go get our tickets,” he said as they approached the steps to the movie theater. “You still set on that Nicolas Sparks movie?” he asked with a grin.

“Yup.”

She followed him to the ticket booth, and he snaked his wallet from the back pocket of his jeans. “Two tickets for Safe Haven, please?”

“I’m sorry, but we’re all sold out for the seven o’clock showing,” the girl in the booth replied. “We still have a few tickets for the showing at ten, and we have tickets for Off-Screen Chemistry at seven.”

Logan turned to Kandi for some form of reassurance. She’d been cast as the lead in Off-Screen Chemistry but had dropped out of the project once she realized Dak was cast as her male co-star. The wounds had been too fresh for her to work with him again. “We could always go eat dinner and come back for the ten o’clock showing?”

She forced a smile. “Nah, it’s okay. It’s just a movie anyway.”

After they’d gotten their tickets and a giant drink to share, Kandi hooked her arm into his as they walked into the pitch-black theater together. “You know I just talk through the entire movie anyway.”

“Born to be a commentator?” he joked.

“Exactly.”

She stayed true to her word, and surprisingly, watching a movie starring her ex on their first date wasn’t as awkward as he would’ve imagined. They spent the entire two hours poking fun at the cheesy dialogue, Dak’s awful wardrobe, and the outrageous over-acting performance of the girl they’d cast to replace Kandi. The fellow moviegoers around them kept shushing them, but neither of them cared. Logan had never been one to break the rules, but there was something about being around her that made him a little more willing to test his boundaries. She just made him feel comfortable about himself.

“Maybe this movie would’ve actually been good if they kept Kandi Jenkins in it,” he announced loudly, earning himself a few rude comments.

“Shut up!” she whispered through her hushed laughter as she gave his shoulder a slight shove, and even in the dark theater, he could see her blush.

“Well, it’s true.”

Her lips curved into a soft smile. “Thanks.”

While the movie wasn’t that great, they still had a good time entertaining themselves with their own running commentary.

“You know, they should totally pay us to do the audio commentary on every movie,” Kandi laughed as they walked out of the theater together.

“We’d be perfect for it.”

“So…” she began, thrusting her hands into the pocket of her jacket. “Did you have any plans for dinner?”

A sheepish grin made his dimples prominent. “Not exactly. What are you in the mood for?”

“I don’t really have a taste for anything, but we passed a breakfast place on the walk over that looked interesting.”

“Alright, that’s fine with me.”

>>

“How are the guys doing?” Kandi asked once they were settled in a red plastic booth in the back of the breakfast nook. She’d ordered blueberry pancakes, and he’d ordered something called a “trashcan omelet,” which he had mixed feelings about. “I haven’t really had a chance to hang out with y’all lately.”

“They’re doing okay,” he laughed to himself. “You know nothing ever changes with us. Kendall’s still a little heartbroken since Jo left, so we’ve been trying to cheer him up. James is dating sunblock girl now, I think, and I’m still not completely sure what her real name is, since all he ever calls her is ‘sunblock girl.’ Heck, I’m beginning to doubt that he even knows her name himself.”

“Typical James,” she added, taking a sip of her coffee.

“Yeah, pretty much. It wouldn’t surprise me if he called her ‘sunblock girl’ to her face, to be honest.”

“Mhm. If a guy’s good-looking enough, he can get away when anything. Trust me, I’ve been there.”

“Oh, did I tell you that Carlos got a job?” Logan asked, desperate to change the subject. Even though whatever Kandi had had with Dak was over now, the presence of him seemed to surround them. It wasn’t her fault, he knew that she wanted to be with him, not Dak, but he was also aware that she still had those fleeting thoughts about him.

“Actually no, you haven’t, but please do.”

“Well, he’s been working part-time at the chili place for about a week or so now, and I know this is mean, but the rest of us have a betting pool going about how long we think he’ll last.”

“That is pretty mean,” she admitted. “Why is he working at the chili place anyway? It’s not like you guys are strapped for cash, especially since the new record’s about to drop. By the way, I’m still mad that you haven’t managed to snag me an advance copy yet. Just sayin’.”

“I can’t help it,” he laughed. “Gustavo’s really gung-ho about making sure the album doesn’t get leaked. I don’t even have a copy yet.”

“Well, I guess I can let it slide then.”

The waitress returned with their orders, and though the food was much too hot to eat, they tried to sample it anyway.

“You know,” Kandi began as she reached for her drink. “This doesn’t feel much like a first date. No awkward silences, no getting-to-know-each-other questions, and no sketchiness whatsoever. Logan Mitchell, I am just not getting that rapey first date vibe from you.”

He couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m sorry. I’ll try to work on it.” In response, he adjusted his tie and shifted his gaze from side to side, wriggling his eyebrows suggestively.

“That’s more like it. So Logan, was it? What do you do?”

He struggled to muffle his own laughter. “Well, I moved out here to be in a vocal group with my three best friends, and we’re about to release our second album, but eventually, I’d like to go to medical school and become a doctor.”

“Interesting. I love a man with ambition,” she replied, and he could tell by the way her lips quivered that she was on the verge of breaking down into a fit of giggles. “Where did you move here from?”

“Minnesota.” He grinned. “What about you?”

“Oh, I’m from South Carolina,” she replied casually before taking a bite of whipped cream. “Can’t you tell by the accent?”

“Just a little,” he confessed, happy to play along with her game. “So Miss Jenkins, what do you do?”

“Right now, I’m an actress, but I honestly don’t know what I want to do with myself.”

“Well, you’ve got nothing but time to figure it all out.” It was fun, pretending to be strangers, but Logan was no actor, so of course, he broke character. “But seriously, K, how are you feeling about the movie?”

She held her coffee mug to her lips as she spoke. “Actually, I’m happy about the way things are going. Sure, I’ll have to fly out to Vancouver for a couple of weeks to film on location, but other than that, I think this is my favorite project I’ve done so far. New Town High was too small of a role, Varsity Vampires was too much hype, but this indie flick is just the right fit for me.”

“I’m glad to hear that.”

“I mean, all of the vocal acting has been really challenging for me, but that’s a good thing. I’m anxious to see how it all turns out.”

“I’m sure you’ll do great.” He meant it.

“But enough about me, how are you doing, Logie? I know I already asked about the guys and all of that, but I’d like to know about you.”

“I’m doing okay…Better than okay, actually.”

“Oh really now? Why do you say that?” she laughed.

“Uh, I have a date with this really cool girl tonight.”

“A really cool girl, huh? Spill it, Mitchell, what’s she like?”

“Well, she’s talented, cute, funny, and she’s kinda sorta my best friend.”

“Honestly, I can’t wait to meet this girl.”

After they finished their breakfast-for-dinner, Kandi insisted on paying since he’d bought the movie tickets, but while she was preoccupied with the bill, Logan noticed a donation box for a children’s charity selling these little plastic roses. Each rose was wrapped in cellophane with a tiny bear lodged between the stem of the rose and the clear plastic, and while Kandi wasn’t looking, he slipped a five-dollar bill into the donation box and picked out a red rose for her.

When she finally turned around, he held it out for her.

“I got this for you.”

“Aw,” she smiled as she took the little fake rose from him. “It’s so cute. They used to sell these at the gas stations back home.”

“Really? I’ve never seen them before.”

“Yup. My mom used to bring them home for me when she worked third shift back in SC.” The smile lingered on her lips as she stared down at the flower. “Anyways, thanks. That was really sweet of you.”

“Don’t mention it, it’s nothing. It’s just plastic anyway.” He brushed away the notion, shoving his hands into his pockets as his gaze darted to the floor.

“It doesn’t matter. I’d rather have fake flowers anyway; fake flowers don’t shrivel up and die in a week.”

She leaned over and planted a kiss on his cheek before the two of them walked out of the diner.

>>

The date was coming to a close as they stood outside the door to her apartment. Kandi kept the little red rose clutched in her grip as she fumbled for her keys in her purse.

“I had a lot of fun tonight, Logan,” she said, the jingle of her keys punctuating the statement as she fished them from her bag. “Honestly.”

“Me too.” He smiled. “It’s nice to know I’m not a horrible first date.”

“That you are not,” she laughed. “I know it’s getting late and everything, but I DVR’d the Lakers/Knicks game if you’d like to stay and watch it with me. It’s not as fun watching basketball by yourself.”

“Sure.”

“Now, I would like to throw in a disclaimer that I’m asking you to watch the game with me as my best friend, not as my boyfriend. Our official first date ends in this hallway. Is that clear?”

Logan laughed. “Yes.”

Kandi set her purse down in the hallway by her door, gently letting the rose rest beside it before she began to lean in for that end-of-the-night, first date kiss, and Logan was more than willing to meet her halfway. Her lips were soft as they brushed against his, and even though this wasn’t their real first kiss, there was still that hesitant passion buried beneath each of their movements. It was quick, gentle, and tender, but no less rewarding.

As they walked into her apartment, Logan did notice that shift in the atmosphere, the tension between them dissipating as the formalities of a first date fell to the wayside.

Kandi slipped off her shoes at the door. “Would you like something to drink or anything?”

“Nah, I’m fine,” he replied, flashing her a soft smile.

“Well, I hope you don’t mind, but I’m gonna go change out of these clothes. I’ve been tugging this dress up all night,” she laughed as she adjusted the bodice of her navy tube dress. “You can go ahead and get the game started, since you already know how to work the tv and everything.”

Logan nodded as he watched her duck off into her bedroom. While he waited, he took a seat on the beige sofa, grabbed the remote off the coffee table, and started watching the game. Truthfully, he didn’t follow basketball that much, and while he’d been to a few games with the guys, he didn’t have a certain team that he rooted for, but he knew Kandi was a Lakers girl, and this had been one of the ways they’d bonded: watching basketball games on TV together while her mom was working.

His exhaustion hit him suddenly. During the course of the night, he’d been to focused on Kandi to notice just how tired he was. Now, as he leaned back on the couch, he could feel his eyelids drooping as he tried to concentrate on the television screen. To stay awake, he had to keep reminding himself that she’d be back soon, and he’d promised to watch the game with her.

The loud creak of her bedroom door as it swung open shook him from his drowsiness.

“I haven’t missed anything, have I?” she asked. She flipped her head over, sweeping her loose curls into a ponytail before she joined him on the sofa.

“Nope.”

In her cornflower blue UNC Tarheels shorts and her plain white tank top, without a trace of makeup on her face, she was the Kandi he knew and loved. She propped her head up on her arm, folded her legs up beneath her, and curled up beside him. The two of them sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, two pairs of brown eyes watching the dribbling ball switch between players.

For the first time, Logan was the first to break the silence between them.

“Kandi, how were things between you and Dak?”

It was a thought that been nagging at him since Dak and Kandi had broken up, and while he felt like it was really none of his business, Logan cared about her, and he wanted to know where he stood with her.

A nervous chuckle spilled past her lips. “What do you mean?”

“You know, how was the relationship? Why did you guys break up? How far did things go with him?”

Logan regretted the insecure stream of questions as soon as they left his lips, but he knew he couldn’t keep these things hidden from her. He was her best friend, he knew her better than anyone else in Los Angeles, and he knew that one ideal she held higher than anything else in her life was honesty.

“If you don’t feel comfortable telling me, that’s okay,” he added. The last thing he wanted to do was scare her away, especially after they’d worked so hard to get to this point.

“Nah, it’s cool. I felt like I should probably tell you all of this eventually anyway, since we’re together now.” She paused for a moment, taking a deep breath before she continued. “I guess the relationship was okay. Even now, it’s not that I hate him or anything. When it boils down to it, Dak’s a nice guy, he’s just not the right guy for me. I mean, sure, he made mistakes, but he’s only human, and honestly, I wasn’t perfect either. We just brought out the worst in each other, if that makes any sense?”

The words seemed to tumble from her lips, one after another, each syllable piling on top of the next to build a mountain of her racing thoughts, of the things she’d kept pushing to the back of her mind until that very moment. IT was all bubbling to the surface now, and she couldn’t control it.

Logan nodded. “So why did you stay with him for so long?”

A drawn-out sigh filled the air between them. “He just has that charm and charisma about him that pulled me in, like I was under this spell, and even when things were bad, that chemistry we had between us made me think that it would all be okay. Pretty fucked up, yeah?”

“And the breakup?”

A weak smile spread across her lips. “Well, you know all about that…”

Logan’s stare stayed fixated on his hands in his lap. “Kandi, did you ever sleep with him?”

“Oh yeah, I slept over at his place all the time, and while I usually stayed in the guest room, there were some nights when we slept in the same bed together and-“

He cut her off. “No, I didn’t mean sleeping in the same bed together, I meant….did you ever have sex with him?”

“Oh.” Her voice trailed off, and the delay in her answer made him feel that unshakable dread in the pit of his stomach. It wasn’t something that would ever change how he felt about her, but he was still a virgin, and if it did happen between them, he didn’t want his lack of experience to be compared to Dak’s performance. “No, I just couldn’t do it. I tried, but it just didn’t feel right. That’s lame to say, I know. Most girls would give their left arm to fuck Dak Zevon.”

“It’s okay, I just…I just needed to know where we stood.” Logan’s teeth dug into his lower lip as he diverted his gaze, ashamed that he’d even brought the subject up.

She let her head rest against his shoulder. “I love you, Logan. I know I shouldn’t say that because this is still new and everything, but you should know that by now, especially after all we’ve been through these past few months. Don’t feel like you have to compete with Dak because, trust me, you win every time. You won, Logan. You. Won.”

He didn’t know what to say, but her actions spoke louder than his words ever could as she kissed him. It was the kind of kiss that made him feel dizzy, like his stomach was doing somersaults in his abdomen. There was a force, an underlying passion that made him feel fluttery and woozy, like that one time he’d drunk some lean that James made him. It was intoxicating, and as reluctant as he was to pull away, he knew he had to.

Tonight, Logan had to go back to his apartment, but he knew there was always tomorrow. This was the night that set the wheels in motion, and now that they had that steady momentum, they could never look back.