Bouquet

I couldn't help but try to block thoughts of Aaron away. He was so similar to Adryan. It was awful.

Adryan didn't think anything was wrong with me. He just ignored me, usually.

He would kiss me and make love to me and I'd try hard to not compare those kisses and fucks to how Aaron kissed and fucked me.

I missed Aaron. A lot. His death caused a whole in my heart. I had loved Aaron. I never told Adryan that, though. Adryan would be hurt.

I didn't want to hurt him, but it seemed inevitable.

I woke up every morning wrapped in Adryan's arms, breathing in his scent. I wanted to love Adryan. And I did love him.

But he wasn't Aaron. And he wasn't the perfect boy. And Adryan got annoying. And his hallucinations got old too.

I tried to love Adryan the way I'd loved Aaron. I really did. He just wasn't Aaron.

If Aaron hasn't killed himself, I wouldn't have tried to kill myself. I'd never have met Adryan.

I hated Aaron for leaving me.

I hated Adryan for not being good enough to replace Aaron.