Every Part

“Hey daddy?” She sure is a talkative little thing.

“Not your dad.” I sigh, giving up by now at the little girl who tugs at my hand.

“Daddy, where are we going?” She asks again. It’s cute the first time…

“To find your mommy. Like I said before, a million times.” I grunt, turning to the meeting place.

“Oh!” She smiles up at me, pigtails bouncing in the summer wind. Okay, so she may be very inquisitive and chatty, but she is adorable. Hang on, maybe I should rewind a bit? No, this isn’t my daughter, and in fact I just met the little bugger today. Well, more like was stalked down by I guess. I was just leaving a clothing store when I noticed her following me…and no one else. You’d think your mother would keep a better eye on you? Well, I guess we can’t all be winners.

Flashback:

“Yes yes Jade. I’m on my way.” I grumble into the phone. I hate being rushed, especially when it’s your ex rushing you. Why I even agreed to meet her for lunch, I don’t know. But it seemed important to her.

“You remember where, right?” She asks again. Jesus, I’m getting up there in the years, but not old enough for Alzheimer’s.

“Yes! Wendy’s!” Hey, times are tough, even for us rock stars.

“Okay, just checking. I’ll see you soon Kaoru.” Her tone softens.

“See ya Jade.” I reply, clicking the phone shut, still surprised and pissed by her sudden phone calls. It’s been almost two whole years, and not a word? Women sure can change a lot about yourself. That’s when I notice the all too familiar sensation of someone following me. Damn fangirls. Turning to shoo them away, I’m alarmed to find a little girl all alone on the streets behind me. She has huge, dark eyes, as well as dark hair, and wears purple overalls, along with the brain dead, slack jawed expression most fangirls carry. She couldn’t be over two. “…Are you lost?”I question, only to have her jump as she quickly scans her surroundings. Almost immediately, the tears begin.

“…Mommy?!” She shrieks. Oh lord. I’ve never been one for comforting small children…actually, I’ve never really been around all that many kids. They’re very difficult in my opinion. I don’t see how couples can handle them. Patience I suppose…

“Calm down! No crying!” I plead, quickly moving to squat in front of her. She bites her lip, holding back her tears. “Now there’s a brave girl.” I smile warmly, easing her worries. “What’s your name?”

“Rina.” She answers hesitantly, sniffling as well.

“Okay. And what’s your mommy’s name?”

“…Mommy.” She replies. Sigh.

“Well, what does she look like.” I press, begging to get some sort of clue. Do you see what I mean about difficulties? If you can’t manage to color in the lines, I’m not all too sure how you manage to get past your parent’s radar. Honestly. How’d this kid wind up here all alone?

“…A lady. With dark hair.” She answers after an elongated pause. I wonder if she realizes she’s just described the entire female population of Asia? This is going nowhere fast.

“Okay, come on, we’ll go find your mom.” I announce, standing to my feet and hunching over to take her tiny hand.

“Kay daddy.”

“I’m not your dad, kid.” She only grins, falling into step with me. Whatever…

Sure, I could say that, play off the nonchalant act…but somehow I find myself smiling alongside her.

End Flashback:

“Daddy.”

Sigh. “Yes Rina?”

“Yay! You’re my daddy!” She squeals in victory.

“Whatever you say.” I chuckle. “Well, are you hungry little Rina? I’m supposed to be meeting a friend for lunch. I bet she’ll help us find your mommy, and I don’t want you starving.” I’m sure Jade won’t mind helping. She always has been one for kids.

“Sweets?!”

“Whatever you’d like.” I beam.

“Yay!!!” She bounces by my side. “Where are we going?”

“Wendy’s… Actually, we’re here now.” I smile opening the door for the girl, only to find Jade ready to plow me over in worry. “What’s the hurry Jade?! Jeez!” I exclaim, holding my quivering ex in my arms. Her dark, wavy hair sweeps down her back and my arms, its floral scent bringing back memories that I’m not sure I want.

“I don’t know where she went!!!” She cries, shockingly burying her face into my chest, arms pinching my waist. My shirt acts as a pillow to muffle her sobs and dry her tears…how I’d love to be the one to do that again…

“Slow down, where who went?” I press, rubbing her thin back in desperation, though it seems to do no good. Rina returns to my side, hesitantly looking up to the sobbing woman, her already large eyes growing wider.

“Rina!” Jade yells at me, surprising me into looking down.

“Mommy?” The girl whimpers staring up at Jade who’s gaze instantaneously darts down to the girl.

“Oh my god! Rina!!” She exclaims, immediately scooping the child up into her slender arms, hugging her tightly. Good lord am I confused. “Don’t you EVER run off like that again!” She scolds, bringing the girl to tears.

“I’m sorry!” She bawls hugging Jade just as tight. She only sighs, relieved to have the Rina back in her arms. They go on in their bawling, waterworks session while I just stand there confused.

“Oh, I’m sorry Kaoru.” Jade sniffles, a smile on her face. “It’s been a while hasn’t it?” She laughs, that shine still in her eyes.

“About two years.” I reply sadly. I haven’t seen her since that last night together…where the next morning I woke to an empty bed. An empty life. She completely broke me…I’ve never loved another since. And I’ve never forgiven her.

“Come on, let’s sit down…Rina, why don’t you go play with the little boy over there?” She suggests, gesturing to the toddler playing with blocks in the child’s corner. “He looks like he could use some company.”

“Kay mommy!” She exclaims bounding over to the boy, her shoes clacking on the floor as she wobbles.

“I can’t thank you enough.” She exhales, gaze glued to Rina who now sits by the dark haired boy. I guess she’s talking to me now…

“No, just keep a better eye on her next time…” I sigh shaking my head.

“I’m sorry…she just loves you so much. She must’ve spotted you. I swear, she’s worse than the fangirls.” She groans, and I can’t help but smile watching her stack blocks.

“Well that explains the dazed look. But I can’t believe you let her listen to our music…She your sister or something? She’s got a habit of calling strangers her parents.”

“No, Rina’s my daughter.” This takes me by surprise. “And I only let her listen to your mellow music Kaoru…I wanted her to know how amazing her dad is…” Her gaze shifts from her daughter to the table in shame.

“So you did cheat on me.” I sneer. “Jade, why the hell would you drag me out here just to tell me you ran off with one of my band mates and got knocked up?!” I growl, slowly backing away from the table. “I finally manage to get over you, and here you are again! Getting my hopes up only to break me! Do you even care how shattered you left me?” My voice is barely a harsh whisper, but I’m sure the look on my face is one I’d never want to see myself. Was this all to get the burden off her chest, just to put it on mine?!

“Kaoru…I’m sorry I hurt you. I thought it was for your own good…and how could you think I would, no, could, ever cheat on you?! I…I love you Kaoru, and I’ve never stopped…How could I? Especially when I have her as a constant reminder…” She whimpers. She still loves me? Then why the hell did she leave? And how could she think that would make my life any damn easier?! Then her last statement hits me…Her, a reminder? Jade must understand my confused expression, and smiles warily. “Kaoru…Rina is your daughter.”

“…Say what? …Why…how could you hide this from me Jade?” Glancing back over at the tiny child, now noticing my lips, eyes, ears…She bulldozes through the towering blocks roaring like a monster, the other child squealing ‘Ah! Godzirra!’

“I didn’t mean to. I panicked when I found out…I fled.” She whispers, taking my shaking hand in her own. “But…that’s not what I wanted to do…Kaoru, I just want us to be a family. I always have, but I don’t know if you can forgive or will take me back…I was afraid of the answer. Afraid you wouldn’t want me…us.” Warm tears drip onto my palm as her head lowers and body quivers.

“Jade…how could you think that?” I lift her chin to meet my soft eyes, brushing a thumb over her silky cheek. “I love you. Every part of you. I want nothing more than you for the rest of my life.”

“…B-but what about her?” She stutters, gaze shifting to her child…to our child.

“What’s so confusing about me loving every part of you? Is Rina not a part?” I smile gently, Jade mirroring that in her own face.

“Daddy!!!” Rina wails, flinging herself at me.

“What’s wrong Rina?” I ask, unconsciously lifting her onto my lap, only to have a knee shoved in my face.

“It hurts!!” She cries, and now I notice the tears in her eyes and brush burn on said face-knee.

“Oh Rina, it’ll be okay. Want daddy to kiss it and make it better?” She nods in reply, doing her best to hold back sobbing. “What a brave girl.” I smile placing a kiss on her forehead, then knee. Jade smiles tenderly from across the table, and for once I see how easy this family thing is. She should never have worried… “I love you.” I whisper to both of them. And I will, forever and always.