Perfectly Dead Passion
I'd do anything for you...
It’s been over a month and I can’t get her out of my mind. Why is that? It’s not like I haven’t been dumped before. She’s no different. She’s nothing to me. No, that’s not true. She’s the world to me.
The icy winter air whips me hard in the face. My skin feels like it’s splitting, but oddly, it’s a welcoming feeling. This pain, it’s proof that I’m living. That I lived before. That at one point, we were ‘us,’ not ‘I.’ But not anymore. Now I’m hovering on the edge. Why does she affect me this way? She makes me feel…so empty.
“Daisuke?” Speak of the Devil. In a way, I wonder if I’m not just hearing things. Hearing what I want to hear. But turning in the direction of that heart splitting voice, I find the familiar set of almond eyes, that sharp expression and jet black hair that frames every one of her perfect features. Never once has she looked anything but perfect. If I didn’t know better, I’d imagine her spending hours in front of the mirror, paying attention to every minute detail. But I know her. She wakes up this way, rolling out of bed in a state that anyone would kill for. That’s one reason I hate her. She doesn’t even realize it. She despises her very being, and wants nothing more than to be dead. “What are you doing out here? It’s freezing? And you’re nowhere near home!!” Her piercing eyes narrow at me, making my very core shake.
“…I don’t know Cam…” I whimper. It doesn’t even sound like my own voice. I’m ashamed. Why would I let some girl beat me up like this? Why does she hurt me without even knowing it? Her lips narrow into a frown, and I know she’s contemplating over something. Suddenly, I feel her grip on my forearm and I’m dragged into her familiar home. Euphoric scents linger throughout the room, and every memory comes rushing back to me. Her gentle laughter, the way she snores when in a deep sleep, the feel of her bare skin against mine, the tingling sensation her very touch brought me, and her welcoming smile. Out of everything, that smile is what I miss most.
“Die, answer me for once? Are you okay? You’re worrying me.” She bites her lower lip, a nervous habit, as she moves closer to me, her gleaming hair fanning out over her shoulders. I guess I should come back to reality.
“I’m fine.” I lie. Looking in my eyes, she can see right through me.
“Don’t lie to me Die. You’re not the same.” Her gentle hand rests on my cheek, and I want nothing more than to entwine my fingers with hers, like I always have. I want to be with her again, but being wanted is the problem. She wants nothing to do with me. I don’t even see why she’s pretending to care. She dumped me. Why does she insist on fucking with me? I honestly don’t think I can take anymore.
CAMERIN’S POV:
Did I do this to him? I thought he was the one who wanted to end things. Now I don’t know what to think. I’ve never seen him like this before. He looks so…dead. His eyes are dull and sunken, no longer the bright smiling ones I remember. And I can’t even begin to imagine a smile on his face. Even his hair isn’t as vivid. What have I done to you? I didn’t mean for this to happen…I only wanted you to have the life you wanted. I was holding you back. Why can’t I do anything right?
“Die? Die please talk to me.” He finally meets my eyes, and I find that his lips are quickly against mine. Oh my God! I move to pull away, but instantly has me pinned to the couch. “Die?” I whimper in between his forceful kisses.
“Don’t leave me.” He whimpers. I can feel hot tears dripping onto my face as his shaking fingers crawl under my shirt, skimming my ghostly flesh. I hate being touched like this. What does he see in me? I’m a disgusting monster. Hideous and grotesque. And yet, here I am, in the face of a god. How can being with one person make you feel so alive, yet so frozen? His lips move against my yet again, but this time filled with passion and lust. I hadn’t even realized I was kissing him back. Every second I spend with him is another second I become more attached, yet disconnected. I just want to make him happy. I’ve lived a life full of disappointment, and I don’t want him to. This man deserves everything he could ever want. And if that something is me…so be it. To me, this is a perfectly dead passion, and I’ll gladly be a slave to him.
“Anything for you Die.” I whisper, pulling him close to me, our bodies melting into the chilling winter night.
The beginning of the end.
The icy winter air whips me hard in the face. My skin feels like it’s splitting, but oddly, it’s a welcoming feeling. This pain, it’s proof that I’m living. That I lived before. That at one point, we were ‘us,’ not ‘I.’ But not anymore. Now I’m hovering on the edge. Why does she affect me this way? She makes me feel…so empty.
“Daisuke?” Speak of the Devil. In a way, I wonder if I’m not just hearing things. Hearing what I want to hear. But turning in the direction of that heart splitting voice, I find the familiar set of almond eyes, that sharp expression and jet black hair that frames every one of her perfect features. Never once has she looked anything but perfect. If I didn’t know better, I’d imagine her spending hours in front of the mirror, paying attention to every minute detail. But I know her. She wakes up this way, rolling out of bed in a state that anyone would kill for. That’s one reason I hate her. She doesn’t even realize it. She despises her very being, and wants nothing more than to be dead. “What are you doing out here? It’s freezing? And you’re nowhere near home!!” Her piercing eyes narrow at me, making my very core shake.
“…I don’t know Cam…” I whimper. It doesn’t even sound like my own voice. I’m ashamed. Why would I let some girl beat me up like this? Why does she hurt me without even knowing it? Her lips narrow into a frown, and I know she’s contemplating over something. Suddenly, I feel her grip on my forearm and I’m dragged into her familiar home. Euphoric scents linger throughout the room, and every memory comes rushing back to me. Her gentle laughter, the way she snores when in a deep sleep, the feel of her bare skin against mine, the tingling sensation her very touch brought me, and her welcoming smile. Out of everything, that smile is what I miss most.
“Die, answer me for once? Are you okay? You’re worrying me.” She bites her lower lip, a nervous habit, as she moves closer to me, her gleaming hair fanning out over her shoulders. I guess I should come back to reality.
“I’m fine.” I lie. Looking in my eyes, she can see right through me.
“Don’t lie to me Die. You’re not the same.” Her gentle hand rests on my cheek, and I want nothing more than to entwine my fingers with hers, like I always have. I want to be with her again, but being wanted is the problem. She wants nothing to do with me. I don’t even see why she’s pretending to care. She dumped me. Why does she insist on fucking with me? I honestly don’t think I can take anymore.
CAMERIN’S POV:
Did I do this to him? I thought he was the one who wanted to end things. Now I don’t know what to think. I’ve never seen him like this before. He looks so…dead. His eyes are dull and sunken, no longer the bright smiling ones I remember. And I can’t even begin to imagine a smile on his face. Even his hair isn’t as vivid. What have I done to you? I didn’t mean for this to happen…I only wanted you to have the life you wanted. I was holding you back. Why can’t I do anything right?
“Die? Die please talk to me.” He finally meets my eyes, and I find that his lips are quickly against mine. Oh my God! I move to pull away, but instantly has me pinned to the couch. “Die?” I whimper in between his forceful kisses.
“Don’t leave me.” He whimpers. I can feel hot tears dripping onto my face as his shaking fingers crawl under my shirt, skimming my ghostly flesh. I hate being touched like this. What does he see in me? I’m a disgusting monster. Hideous and grotesque. And yet, here I am, in the face of a god. How can being with one person make you feel so alive, yet so frozen? His lips move against my yet again, but this time filled with passion and lust. I hadn’t even realized I was kissing him back. Every second I spend with him is another second I become more attached, yet disconnected. I just want to make him happy. I’ve lived a life full of disappointment, and I don’t want him to. This man deserves everything he could ever want. And if that something is me…so be it. To me, this is a perfectly dead passion, and I’ll gladly be a slave to him.
“Anything for you Die.” I whisper, pulling him close to me, our bodies melting into the chilling winter night.
The beginning of the end.