I Don't Need You

“I can’t take this anymore. I need out of here.” I sigh, already past arguments. I already know the drill. This is only another in a long, everlasting collection of fights. But for me, this is the last one. I’m done with the constant bickering. I’m done with him. I don’t need him.

“Fine then!! Leave!!! See if I care!!!” He explodes, his messy, bright hair springing angrily as he whips his hard candy against the wall, shattering it to pieces. His sad eyes gleam with malice, but I can only imagine what mine look like. Emotionless. I know this is the end. I’ll make sure of that.

“It’s not like you don’t have a line of replacements waiting outside.” I mutter under my breath pulling the door open, ready to walk out on him for the final time. To close this chapter of my pathetic life.

“What was that?!” He growls, his beautiful face furrowed in agitation and fury, a look that doesn’t fit him.

“You heard me.” I snarl, pulling it shut with a sharp crack. Storming down the empty street, the slapping sounds of my shoes and the far away barking of dogs being the only things I can hear. It’s so brisk…and lonely. Slowing my pace, I continue to my destination; that place I’d hardly call home. Some part of me feels empty, but that’s nothing new. We’ve broken up before, and he’s always chased after me. Have I ever truly been in this relationship for myself? Don’t get me wrong, being with Maya left me giddy, but it somehow felt wrong…like I was pretending. I loved making him smile. I loved to see him happy. So maybe that’s all there was between us…that desire for happiness. But I can find that elsewhere. Before I know it, I find myself at home, waiting outside the door of the empty, lifeless apartment. I rarely stay here. It seems like every night I was always at his place. He seemed to think up every excuse imaginable to have me come over. Help with lyrics, cleaning, movie night, dinner, or just sex. No matter the reason, I always complied with a laugh, thinking it funny how needed I was. But never once did I hear the padding sounds of him following me…Glancing behind me briefly to view the empty street, I dejectedly open the door. I guess that’s it. I’m free.

~*X*~

“So Maya, would you care to tell us about this lovely lady we’ve all been seeing you around town with?” A blush creeps to his face as he grins in amusement.

“That would be my good friend Elizabeth.”

“Only a good friend?” The host grins, his eyebrow raised. I don’t know what’s possessed me to keep it on this channel. It’s not like I give a damn. We’ve been through for a few months now and haven’t spoken since. Maya’s sneaky grin catches my attention.

“A very good friend.” He chuckles, his dark eyes lighting up. I find myself watching every movement and hanging on every word my ex says.

“What about your girlfriend?” The other man blurts out, instantly regretting the bold move. I grin to myself, ready for the waterworks like every other break up we’ve had. I find sick amusement in these things. After everything I’ve given, I like to know it was worth something at least. But his reaction surprises, and disappoints, me.

“…Sometimes it’s better to let go of the ones you love.” He replies, a sad tone to his voice, but the heartbreaking grin never leaves his face. “She’ll always be in my heart though. I smile because of her.”

“Oh? How’s that?” I’m sitting on the edge of my seat now, fingers digging into the cushions. I hadn’t even realized it. Maya looks away from the camera and to his wrist where the friendship bracelet we once made together resides. Sadly, mine is still attached to me as well. We may have been a lousy couple, but that doesn’t mean we weren’t the best of friends. It’s disheartening knowing even that’s over. Again, he smiles as he twirls it between his fingers.

“I guess she gave me a heart of sorts. She opened my eyes up…I can’t always have what I want, but that doesn’t mean there’s no one out there that wants me…If that makes any sense.” He laughs looking back to the confused host. I hadn’t even noticed the tears dripping down my face until they fell to my exposed thighs.

“I guess it does.” The man laughs, a bit of confusion evident on his face. “Well, I hope you and your ‘good friend’ are happy and all the best to the ex.” He cackles. Maya only frowns.

“I don’t like to think of her as ‘ex.’ Just…someone who needed to be released. A caged bird. No one could ever replace you.” He mutters the last part, but it’s still loud enough for me to catch. I let the tears fall as I watch his dark eyes meet my own, a glimmer of hope in them.

“I don’t need you.” I grumble wiping my face swiftly. I know full well that’s a lie.