Fall Away

“So, you’re here about Gaskarth?” Matt asked, taking a drag from the blunt carefully placed between his fingers. He passed it to Evan who slowly inhaled the smoke, blowing it out in little puffs of gray air. It was silent for a moment as Evan held it out for Jack to take, but the boy refused, shaking his head slightly despite the strong desire to get high. He could see Alex from the corner of his eye, sitting beside him and seething with jealousy and he really didn’t want Alex to sit there sober while everyone else got stoned.

“Y-yeah.” Jack mumbled, thinking through how to phrase things. He didn’t even have a reason for being here, except for the fact that Alex wanted to see his friends.

“What about him?” Danny asked, grabbing the blunt and inhaling for longer than Jack thought was humanely possible.

“I just wanted to know, like, what happened from your point of view.”

Alex leaned over then, moving closer into their circle and laying down so his head was in Jack’s lap, giving Jack a soft smile. Jack looked down smiling at the ghost, and running his hands through the caramel hair for a few seconds before he realized Evan was staring at him awkwardly with his head tilted to the side as if trying to figure out what he was seeing.

Jack immediately dropped his hands and then Vinny started laughing quietly, his eyes already turning a bright red shade from the weed. “Dude, why are you holding your hands up in the air?”

Jack looked down, realizing that his hands must’ve looked like they were in the air since the others couldn’t see that they were on Alex’s head. He moved his hands to his sides, giggling nervously. “Didn’t even realize it.”

“You’re fucking weird.” Danny stated. “But I like it.”

“Shut the fuck up guys. He’s here for a reason,” Matt interjected, his face turning to a look of utter concentration. “You want to know what happened?”

Jack nodded quickly.

“It was really simple really. It was one stupid mistake okay? One extra shot of booze and he was dancing on the ledge before he fell. And we were so drunk that we didn’t even realize he was hurt. So it’s our fault, okay? We could’ve saved him, but we were too dumb”-

“You weren’t dumb, you were drunk.” Jack interrupted.

“You don’t know what it feels like,” Matt whispered, running a hand through his hair in frustration.
“We sobered up in seconds and it hit us. Our best friend was unconscious and we could’ve helped. Maybe we could’ve prevented a coma.” He shuddered, throwing the remnants of the blunt onto the ground and stepping on it.

It was silent for a few minutes as the others got higher and higher, each of them loosening up and getting more comfortable on the grass.

“You and Alex were supposed to fuck.” Danny stated laughing, taking out a bottle of sprite and chugging it. “It’s so weird to think that; like, don’t you ever feel weird? The guy you could’ve been shoving your dick in is comatose and hasn’t fingered himself of whatever gay guys do in months.”
Alex flinched at the statement, immediately stiffening up. But the guys were all too high to realize that what they’d said was rude, even sick.

“He means ‘date.’” Evan snorted, grabbing the bottle and taking a small swig.

“So everyone says.”

“I fucking told you.” Alex grumbled, sticking out his tongue at Jack rather immaturely.

“I heard if you kiss your soul mate, you’ll feel this unexplainable feeling, like this powerful surge of emotions.” Evan sighed, staring at the cloudy sky.

Vinny slapped his chest. “Man you need to stop reading those romance novels, you fucking twat.”

“I, for one, happen to believe in true love!” Evan shouted proudly, smiling at the sky. The others started laughing, throwing random items at the boy. “Stop!” He shouted as Vinny threw a book at him.

“You’re not alone. Alex does too.” Jack grumbled, tugging on a few strands of grass and pulling them up violently.

It got silent as the boys stared at him. It took him roughly two seconds a loud “you dumb dick” from Alex to realize what he said wrong.

“I mean”-

“How do you know?” Danny asked suspiciously.

Evan stared at Jack, trying to figure out the situation, his face scrunched up in concentration as he calculated what seemed to be complex logarithms in his head.

“I figured. I mean, you know, he just seemed like the type.”

The boys all gave him a skeptical glare, before Matt stood up. He brushed the grass off his jeans, grabbing his bag. “You’re weird. And as much as I’d love to sit and psychoanalyze you right now, I got class. Stop by some other time.” He smiled and waved, before running off.

Danny and Vinny agreed, standing up and pulling their backpacks on. “It’s cool to see you again. You’re fucking sketchy when sober though.”

They walked off laughing loudly before one of them screamed, “Shit, we need visine. My eyes are probably redder than a fire ant’s dick,” and seconds later the other replied, “Do fire ants have dicks?”

They were too far for Jack to hear the reply and he looked down at Alex who was peacefully resting in his lap, his eyes never leaving Jack’s. They sat like that for a moment, feeling the electricity in the air (probably the coming thunderstorm, Jack assured himself).

Until there was a loud cough.

Jack jumped in the air, causing Alex to topple forward and onto the ground. He looked up in shock to find Evan staring at his lap in concentration.

“You, uh, trying to see through my pants to my dick?” Jack tried, hoping it would diffuse the tension because there was no way he could’ve missed that.

Evan laughed quietly, before looking up at Jack with sad eyes, which were clearly sober already.
“I’m gonna figure it out Jack. Whatever it is that’s happening with you. And I’ll help you.”

Oh my god, he thinks I’m crazy. Holy shit, Evan thinks I’m like schizophrenic or something.

“Evan, I’m not like mentally unstable?” Jack stated.

“I know Jack. I really do. I think there’s more to it than meets the eye.” He whispered as he jumped up and stretched. “I’m late. See you later weirdo!” He yelled the last part, jogging towards the school’s side entrance.

---

“That was close.” Alex mumbled against Jack’s neck where he had pressed his face when he proclaimed he absolutely needed cuddles upon their arrival back at Jack’s house.

Jack laughed. “I loved the part about me butt-fucking you. It’s cool that everyone knows I’m a top.”

Alex hit his shoulder playfully. “We could take turns y’know.”

“Shut the fuck up Gayskank.”

They lay there quietly on Jack’s bed, watching the entire collector’s edition of the Pirates of the Caribbean, which Alex had proclaimed they absolutely had to see, because it had been months since he’d last seen it. To which Jack proclaimed: “It’s cause you’re in a coma,” which ended up in Alex pouting and of course, Jack putting in the dvd.

“Hey Jack?”

“What now?” He muttered in annoyance. “You’re the one who wanted to see this movie.”

“Yeah I know, but, I mean, you know what Evan had said about soul mates and kissing?”

“Yeah,” Jack answered, slightly skeptical about the direction in which this was heading.

“Can I try?”

Jack immediately shot up, pushing Alex off, and untangling their legs in his rush to get to the other side of the bed. “No, no, no. Absolutely fucking not.”

Alex sat up slowly, his face red from the embarrassment of asking that question. “Please.” He crawled his way over to Jack careful not to move too fast.

“No.”

“But”-

“Hell no.”

By this point Jack was sitting on the very edge of the bed, corned between his wall and Alex, whose face was getting closer and closer.

“Can I kiss you Jack Barakat?”

Jack’s eyes searched Alex’s for hidden emotion, finding himself lost in the brown irises which were captivating.

“No,” He whispered, but even as he did, he leaned forward and pressed their lips together softly.

They gasped at the same time as there was a change in the atmosphere. No sparks, no fireworks, but a shitload of butterflies in Jack’s stomach as he moved his hand to cup Alex’s chin and press their lips together. Alex’s hands went to Jack’s waist, holding onto his hipbones, and letting his fingers lightly run over the pale skin where his shirt had ridden up. Jack moved his other hand to Alex’s hair, pulling their faces impossibly closer, so that it was no longer discernible whose lips where which. Alex took the next step, tilting his head a little more to the right and separating his lips lightly, before letting his tongue dart out to lick across Jack’s bottom lip. Jack felt tingles running through his body as he opened his mouth a bit to let Alex lick into his mouth. Alex’s tongue darted across his teeth and tongue, before Jack let himself kiss back, their tongues mingling softly as they tested the waters. It wasn’t until Jack absolutely needed air (maybe Alex doesn’t need air cause he’s a soul, but Jack is very much alive), that he pulled away, gasping for air, his eyes closed.

“Holy fucking shit.” Jack whispered raggedly, still trying to catch his breath.

“Holy fucking shit indeed.” Alex sighed out, before Jack opened his eyes.

The minute their eyes met, they were scrambling back towards each other, grabbing hair and pulling on shirts to feel the insistent press of lips yet again.

Maybe Evan was right.