White Lie

I'd called a few of my friends from high school and rodeo and we'd decided to go out for lunch. They loved Kai. There was their own boyfriends, fiances, and husbands that I had to meet. However, mine was the only exotic one and I liked that. They'd all stayed around the area, gotten normal jobs like secretaries, bankers, vet techs, and the like. It made me feel like I'd accomplished my dreams, like I truly was a free spirit. I had left and I had a job that was what no one else had done. I suppose it was a way to prove myself, that I could accomplish more than what people expected of me.

When Kai and I returned home, I'd rehearsed the whole speech to my mother. We were leaving the next day and I felt like I should tell her. Tell her I was a suck-ish, lying daughter and that my boyfriend wasn't a twenty-six year old accountant. I mean, not only had I lied, but I was also terrible at the very nature of it. An accountant, really?

“It'll be fine,” Kai reassured me as we walked up to the door. He'd been pestering me to tell Mom the truth because he was far more honest than I, apparently.

“Back already?” Mom asked as we stepped into the kitchen.

“Yeah...” and I looked to Kai, who smiled, giving me the push I needed. “Mom, can we—I talk to you about something.”

She looked up from her paperwork at the kitchen table, surveying me from behind her glasses. Eyes traveled between the two of us and I could see her jaw slowly tightening. “You're pregnant, aren't you?”

“No!” the answer left our mouths simultaneously. “I can't believe you'd think that!” I growled.

“Well, I didn't know how much you'd changed...”

I let that sighed and exhaled slowly. Best to make a clean break. “Kai...isn't exactly all I said he was.” Mom arched an eyebrow. “He's not an accountant; he's a musician, a drummer in a band that's pretty popular in Japan.”

“You lied—”

“He's not twenty-six. He's thirty-one.”

If human beings could have combusted, she would have. She stood up so forcefully, the chair rocked back. Her lips pulled tightly across her face as her eyes blazed. “What did I say about you lying to me?” Her voice was in that low tone that made the gut tremble.

“I'm sorry,” I said sincerely. “I just...I didn't know what to tell you at the time.”

“So you lied to me?”

“Because I knew you wouldn't approve!” I snapped back. “All my life I've just wanted your approval, your support for striking out and being unique! But you acted like my shit didn't matter and that being different was crime! You pushed me to leave, you pushed me to lie! I thought it'd be better to lie than face what you'd say about me dating a man like Kai.”

“A man that pushes you to lie—”

“No, stop right there. Kai pushed me to tell the truth. Don't you dare judge him.”

She looked between Kai and me and I knew I'd struck more than a single nerve. “I didn't support you? All those years of hauling you everywhere to rodeos—”

“There you go!” I shouted. “I was never thankful was I? You never thought I was. You thought I didn't appreciate everything you did to me and made me feel guilty. I appreciated what you did; I knew how awesome of a mom you were! But when it came to doing something out of the usual, you were against it! I just wanted to be my own person and leave! And you always took it the wrong fucking way!”

“Watch your language!”

“I am a grown woman, mother! I came back here when I didn't have to because I wanted to make up, but you're driving me away again.” Tears were running down my cheeks. “I just want to get over everything and for you...t—to accept me for who I am now...” I hated crying, especially in front of Kai. His fingers entangled with mine and squeezed.

Mom smoldered across from us, lips thin and barely visible. Finally, her stance relaxed and she looked to the wood floor. “I've always accepted...”

“No, you haven't,” I muttered, wiping at my eyes.

She sighed and looked up to me, glanced at Kai, then back at me. “I'm sorry you felt that way. You're my daughter and I love you. I love you no matter what you do...”

I didn't say anything right away, feeling like it might just be the moment that was causing her to say that. However, I saw sincerity in her eyes. “Thank you,” I said.

And that was all that was said.

--

Kai packed the last of our luggage in the trunk and I turned back to Mom. She looked upset and I could see the tears coming. I hugged her quickly before she saw my own. Things had gotten better after our blowout. She had cooled down, I had cooled down, and she was ready to accept the life I had made for myself.

“Thank you for everything, Mom. We'll come visit again soon.”

“Good,” Mom said as we pulled away. “Both of you, I hope?” She looked meaningfully at Kai, who came to stand beside me.

He bowed his head and smiled. “If you will have me again.”

Mom offered him an arm and Kai was quick to use both arms to hug her. “You've been very good to my daughter, Kai. So you're always welcome back.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Whitehill.”

“Vick.”

“Vick.” Kai flashed her a smile.

Mom sighed. “He sure is a cutie.” She turned her attention back to me. “You've done so well for yourself, Skylar. I'm proud of you—remember that.”

“I will,” I smiled.

“You can always come visit us,” Kai offered, stuffing his hands in his jean pockets.

Mom snorted. “Uhh...we'll see,” she said. “Japan isn't exactly...we'll see. I'd like to see what you both do.”

Kai's smile grew with excitement. Mine was a bit more hesitant. “Okay. I love you, Mom.”

“Love you too.”

We drove off into the sunset. I did not even try to suppress the few tears I had held back. Kai's hand was quick to find mine.

“I'm going to miss it,” I said, eyes locked on the road. “But...being back here has proven that Japan is my new home. Even if we—heaven forbid—broke up—”

“I'm not breaking up with you,” Kai reassured me.

“Even after seeing my crazy life?”

“This somewhat...completed you. I feel like I even know you even more, and respect you more. It was nice to see this side of you.”

I smiled. “I'm glad I didn't scare you away. But—as I was saying—even if we did break up...which won't happen...I couldn't come back. I feel like Japan is my home, its where I finally feel like I belong and can just...be there and not feel like an outsider. Yeah, it would be nice to come back and ride a horse a few times, but...Japan is my home now.”

“I'm glad to hear that,” Kai said. “I want what makes you happiest.”

“You make me happiest,” I admitted.

“You make me happiest too,” he grinned. “Do you think your mother would ever come to Japan?”

“I don't know...Maybe, why?”

“Because it would depend if you wanted the wedding in Tokyo or here.”

“The—Wait! What? Whoa!” I slammed my foot on the breaks and the car came a screeching stop in the middle of the blacktop lane. I turned in my seat to stare at Kai. “Wedding? What wedding?”

He just looked at me with a small simper upon his face before reaching into his jeans pocket and pulling out a small, blue box. With a flick of his thumb, it sprung open and I was looking at a simple, but elegant ring. “Being here and seeing you amongst everything—I decided that its you that I want.”

The only thing I could think of saying was, “you remember my five year rule, don't you?”

Kai laughed. “I do,” he said. I had always said I wanted to date for five years before even thinking about marriage and weddings and forevers. Kai was three years early. “But we don't have to get married now. We can wait three years, four, five...whatever you want.”

“Where'd you get the ring?”

“The store in town. Your mom helped pick it out.”

“What?!”

Kai chuckled. Then, he licked his gorgeous lips. “You don't have to give me an answer now,” he said, knowing I was not the fastest at making life-changing decisions. Like marriage. Holy shit.

He sighed and went to put the ring away, but I grabbed his wrist. “Mom seriously helped pick this out?”

“Yes.”

“So she knew that you were going to ask me to marry you?”

“Well, I would guess since I bought it.”

I was having the hardest time processing that Mom had not only knew Kai was going to propose, but she also approved and had a hand in the ring. I mean, if I would have dated a white guy who was not a musician and whose identity I had not lied about, I would see her doing it. But I did not think she had completely approved of Kai and me. It was a shock.

I realized I still had a hold of Kai's wrist. He had an expectant look on his face. I leaned forward, eyes locked with his. Inhaling deeply, I said, “this wasn't exactly the place or time I was expecting this...” Kai bit his lip to suppress a smart-ass snicker. “But yes, Kai, I will marry you.”

The drive to the airport and the flight back home, my eyes were glued between the ring on my left hand and the man beside me. What I thought would have been a disaster turned into a surprisingly fun time—a time to grow in such a short time. Kai and I were an unusual couple, but that is what kept us strong. Such obstacles and differences that we lived through together proved that it was just meant to be.

When Kai I got married four years later, Mom didn't have to fly to Tokyo.