Stitched Together

Chapter Seventeen
Late Night Visit

The Joker paced on top of the building for a good five minutes. He kept his hands busy by opening and closing his switchblade as he walked over the building. Doll was supposed to meet him over an hour ago and she had yet to show.

“If she doesn't want to come on her own then I guess I'll just have to drag her here myself.” The Joker muttered darkly to himself. He used the fire escape ladder on the side of the building to get back down on to the streets. “I bet she thinks this is funny. She probably just waiting for me to come get her.” The Joker said to himself as he walked down the streets of the Narrows. It was early in the morning, just a little after one A.M. and the streets were mostly deserted. “She'll stop her laughing when I cut up her pretty little face even more.”

It took about thirty minutes before he reached her home. The Joker stopped in his tracks when he looked up at the building. The building wasn't much to look at before but now it was on its last leg. He could see that the roof was now beginning to fall in and the windows were completely blown out of it. He felt his heart stop for just a second as he stared at the ruined building. A moment later he shook it off and carefully made his way into the theater.

The place was completely silent as he made his way up the staircase to Doll's room. The door was open and the room itself was a complete mess. Parts of the roof had fallen in and now littered the floor. In the center of the room on Doll's table was a day old, half eaten pizza. The Joker walked curiously over to the pizza and studied it. The first thing he noticed was the foul odor it gave off. Whatever had happened it wasn't Doll's doing. The Joker immediately knew where to get his answers. He just needed to find Simone Carrillo.

She had been in the hospital for three long days and she felt like she was actually going insane. She still had no memory of this Doll girl she was supposed to. Everyone but Gordon treated her like a disease that was deadly. Her doctor, Doctor Johnson barely came to see her anymore and she now was in the care of a nurse named Denise, who was another one of the few people that knew who she really was or supposed to be. Denise would barely look her in the eye and did her work as quickly as possible.

Gordon had kept her company the whole three days and only left her alone for small amounts of time. He had brought her books to read to keep her occupied and also a notebook and pencils to write down anything she thought of. He thought it might help her remember. She quickly realized that Gordon seemed to be the only person that actually wanted her to remember who she was. She wasn't even sure she wanted to be Doll again. She had destroyed so many lives in such a short amount of time that she wasn't sure why Gordon wanted her back.

Tomorrow she was told she would start taking therapy sessions. Doctor Johnson had told her that this morning. He said the sessions might help her remember but she thought it was more likely to access if the memory loss was temporary or not. She had not doubts her mind that he would prefer her to never remember.

She was currently sitting in one of the guests seats that were in her room. She had placed it in front of the large mirror that was over the sink in her room. She had been sitting there since Gordon had left an hour ago. She hated the scars that marked her face. It was the one thing that truly connected her to Doll. The scars were like a blinking sign over her head letting the world know who she was. She wondered what Doll thought about them and how she got them.

“Did I do them to myself?” She asked herself as she traced the scar under her right eye.

She had healed over the past three days. Her face was no longer swollen and her bruises where now turning an ugly yellow color. She had to use crutches whenever she needed to walk due to her ankle. Her left arm was in a cast and her right wrist was still incredibly sore but thankfully healing. Bruises and cuts were all down her arms. She was sure some of them would leave new scars.

She was fascinated by who she used to be no matter if she didn't like her. She couldn't imagine why people were so scared of her. She knew that she might look a little frightening with the scars and all and Gordon had told that she didn't have any regrets about the things she did but she was just one girl. She didn't have any super powers or incredible strength. She was just a small little girl. Gordon even told her The Batman hasn't been able to stop her. The only time she was ever caught was when she had wanted to be. She was amazed at what in all Doll had accomplished.

“I see you’re in the same spot as yesterday.” Gordon commented as he walked through the door and closed it behind him. She didn't turn to him or even show that she heard him. She was staring at her lap at her scared finger tips. “You did those to yourself. That way you couldn't be found in any system or tacked by them.” Gordon told her when he noticed what she was staring at.

“So I don't like my past?” She asked him. She finally looked up at him. Her blue eyes stared at him curiously.

“I wouldn't really know. You never really talked about your past.” Gordon told her. He laid his coat on the back of the chair that he had claimed as his before sitting down it. “Are you excited about your therapy session tomorrow?” He asked looking back up at her.

“Why would I be excited? It's just another doctor who’s going to look at me like I'm some freak show to gawk at.” She commented dryly.

Gordon was quite for a long moment. It was moments like that when the Doll inside of her showed. She might not recall her memories but Gordon knew that she was still Doll. Her comments towards others were quickly becoming to be the same. He knew it was because of the way they were treating her. She didn't see herself as Doll but the people around her; her doctor and her nurse did. They thought by not trying to help her get her memory back that they were doing the city a favor but Gordon thought they were making it worse. She didn't remember what made her Doll but she was starting to resent the people around her now for different reasons.

Gordon was torn on the issue. On one hand he thought it was almost a blessing that she couldn't remember anything. She was completely neutral and showed no signs of anger or violent out bursts. She had been very calm since she had woken up. On the other hand he knew if she didn't get her memory back that the people of Gotham wouldn't be so forgiving and willing to give her a second chance. She would mostly be sent to prison or back to Arkham for the crimes Doll had commented. If for any reason she got out there was no way she could stay in Gotham. The citizens would resent her and push her away like a disease. Gordon wasn't even sure if she could make it in normal society. She had no real identity, no finger prints, and facial scars that marked her as damaged. He almost hoped that Doll would come back just for the simple fact that it was easier that way. Doll knew the world and she didn't want pity or forgiveness. He wasn't sure about her now.

“It might do you some good to talk to someone about how you're feeling. It might help you remember something.” Gordon spoke up a few minutes later. She scoffed before going back to gazing at her reflection.

“They just want to see how damaged I am. I know they want it to be permanent.” she told him simply with a shrug of her shoulders. Gordon sighed because he knew what she was saying was the truth.

It didn't take long for The Joker to find one of Carrillo's men that was a squealer. Unfortunately what the man was telling him wasn't what The Joker wanted to hear. The questioning ended with the man bleeding out from his throat. The Joker left him where he was.

His hands clenched tightly at his sides as his insides burned with rage. It couldn't be true. It wasn't possible. The man had to be wrong. Doll couldn't be gone. The man had said they had poisoned her and tortured her to death. The squealer said he had seen it with his own two eyes. The Joker thought it had to be some kind of joke. Doll couldn't really be dead but if she was alive where was she?

The Joker's room looked even worse than usual. He had been pacing for hours and knifes were stuck into the walls around him. He wasn't sure what he was feeling but he knew he didn't like it. He needed to find Doll and find out what really happened to her. He didn't believe for a moment that she was really dead. She couldn't die at the hand of Carrillo, she just couldn’t. His only problem now was to find out where she really is. It had been days since he had any contact with her. He couldn't stand not knowing where she was. There wasn't much he could really do and he knew this. He did however call a few of his ears of Gotham and told them to start listening for any news on anything about Doll.

She sat in the therapy room tapping her fingers on the table in front of her as she waited for her doctor. She dreaded the next hour or so with a passion. She was sure nothing the doctor would do would be helpful to her. She wished they would just leave her alone and let her go back to her room. She didn't move when she heard the door open then click close. She heard the steady footsteps walk across the room then past her to set down in the chair across from her.

The man that sat in front of her was middle aged and slightly balding. He wore small rectangle glasses over his brown eyes and he was average height and built. He was silent as he studied her intently. She didn't move or acknowledge him. She rolled her eyes annoyed when he continued to stare at her.

“Is it the scars... because I can't really do anything about them.” She told him annoyed. Her voice seemed to snap him out of whatever trance he was in. He cleared his throat and laid a file, her file she had no doubt, onto the table.

“My name is Doctor Howard. How are you feeling today?” He finally spoke. He sounded completely professional and almost robotic.

“How do I feel?” She asks him back. “Well, besides not remembering who I am and apparently getting the shit beat out of me... I guess I'm feeling just fine.” She told him her voice dripping with sarcasm. Her new therapist didn't look impressed.

“I see.” He said before writing down something on his notepad that he had brought with him. She concluded that she already didn't like him. He was just like she predicted. He was going to treat her like some freak show.

“So,” he began as he looked over at her briefly before going back to looking over her file. “I've been told you don't remember anything about your past, is that correct” He asked her.

“That's right. The only thing I know about myself is what is in that file and what Gordon has told me.” She answered truthfully.

Howard studied her for a few moments which made her feel like she was a tiny ant under a microscope. She already wanted the session to be over with and to be back in her room.

“You read your file?” He finally asked.

She shrugged and then answered, “Yeah, it's my file. Did you not want me to read it?” She asked with a raised eyebrow.

“It's just in my professional opinion I would like your memories to come back naturally not forced by or manipulated by reading about it.” He told her. She gave a small snort in response. Howard looked up at her in surprise at the noise.

“Are you serious?” She asked him. She didn't wait for a response. “Look I may not be this incredible criminal genius Doll that you are all scared of but I'm defiantly not stupid. You and everyone else here is so scared that you don't want to help. I get it Gotham is probably much safer without her in it. I don't even know if I want to remember her. But I'm tired of being treated like I am her. Have I gave someone a reason to feel threatened since I've been here?” She was out of breath after her rant and Doctor Howard stared at her in shock. Her blue eyes were blazing into his brown ones and her chest moved rapidly as she tried to regain her breath.

“I think that's enough for today.” He told her before gathering his stuff and heading to the door. She continued to set in the same position she had before he walked in. She was getting tired of everything, of all these people. No one cared. No one cared about her or truly knew her. Gordon was the closest thing she had to knowing about Doll but only he knew so much. She felt useless. She had no family or friends to help her. She was alone in this strange cruel world she found herself in the middle of.

Gordon walked in to the hospital room to find her in the same spot he always found her in- in front of the mirror sitting in the chair she had claimed. It was habit that he noticed she always had. He had found Doll looking in mirrors several times when she was helping with The Joker case. She seemed to be fascinated with her face. He really did want to know how she ended up with her scars but he didn't figure Doll was ever going to tell him. Unlike The Joker she didn't revile anything about her past life even if it was a total lie.

She had her first therapy session yesterday with Doctor Howard and from the look that she came back with it hadn't ended well. Gordon didn't think it would. She was right, none of the doctors here was on her side. So far he had been successful in keeping Doll's location quite. Everyone who asked he told them he was visiting a victim that he thought might be her doing. No one questioned him.

The only thing that worried him was The Joker. He had been extremely quite for a few days now. No new explosions or bank robberies, or even killings. It was like he had vanished but Gordon knew better. Gordon assumed that The Joker was on the hunt for Doll. He only hoped that he never found her. It was the one reason why Gordon didn't want to leave her alone. He didn't know much about what was going on between them but from what witness reports say from the party they both had crashed it seemed as if they were in some type of relationship. He wasn't sure how The Joker would take the memory-less Doll. He was attracted to her because she was uncontrollable like him and she wasn't afraid of him. However now Gordon wasn't quite sure how she would feel.

Even though they were moments when he could see Doll shine through, this girl was not her. She still had several of Doll's quirks. She still loved pizza and sitting in front of mirrors. She liked studying people and getting a rise out of them by picking at their weakness. She wasn't violent though and showed no signs of being so. She was calm for most part of the day but he could see the confusion and frustration shine in her blue eyes. She was getting tired of how people were treating her. She didn't see herself as Doll and she was tired of being judged like she was. It was the one thing that showed that she really was different from Doll. In the time that Gordon had known her he had not seen many emotions in her eyes. They usually shined dangerously as she studied the world around her but now they just looked lost, alone, and scared.

“Will I ever get to leave this place?” She asked him suddenly. She had her blonde hair tied up in a loose ponytail that hung over her left shoulder. Barbara had went out and bought her normal clothes so she wouldn't have to wear a hospital gown. She was wearing baggy jeans with a light blue hoodie that made her eyes seem even bluer.

“Well, I'm sure you'll get to leave here soon. You're healing very well. You can walk some without your crutches now.” Gordon said as he shifted his weight as he looked around the room. He was sure she would be leaving the hospital soon after that he wasn’t quite sure what would happen to her. He knew even if she didn't get her memory back that she wouldn't be set free. She would have to pay for Doll's crimes no matter if she remembered doing them or not.

“What will happen to me after that?” She questioned him. Her blue eyes bored into his brown ones. It was a look that he received from Doll on several occasions. She wanted the truth and no circling around the issue.

“Well, I'm not certain but you'll probably have a trail that decides where you go. You're still a wanted criminal, memory or not.” He told her with a sad smile. He wished he could tell her that everything would be fine but he knew the outcome would not be pretty.

“So I'll go to prison.” It wasn't a question. She knew she wouldn't be set free. She would pay for the damage that Doll did. She turned back to the mirror and continued to stare at her marked face with a small frown on her lips. She heard Gordon lower himself down into his chair on the other side of her room.

The Joker laid across his bed with a large smile spread across his scared face. One of his employee’s that is a cop had heard some very interesting news around the police department. Apparently Gordon had been spending a large amount of time at Gotham General with a victim of Doll's. That stuck out to The Joker as incredibly odd. Doll didn't leave survivors behind. When she sat out to kill someone she made sure the job was completed. The Joker had found out what room the so called victim was staying in and he planned to make a visit there tonight. He hoped he was getting his Doll back tonight. Creating chaos wasn't the same when she wasn't there to laugh along with him.

He wasn't quite sure what kind of shape he would find Doll in but his only concern was to have her back. He didn't want to admit even to himself but he missed having her around. She was the only person that understood the world like he did. She was incredibly intelligent and quick thinking. She was uncontrollable and unpredictable. He would never admit it to her but he saw her as an equal and he wanted her back. He wasn't going to let Gordon take her away.

She was sure she had being staring at the ceiling for hours before she finally was able to fall asleep. It wasn't a great sleep; she was plagued by screams, gun shots, and laughter that she didn't understand. It was like picture-less memories that swirled uncontrollably in her mind. She shifted in her bed and her face scrunched up when she moved her sprained wrist wrong. Sighing she feel back into the darkness of her mind.

The Joker had kept his entrance to the hospital low key. He wasn't in the mood to make a scene yet. He just wanted to see Doll alive with his own eyes. He had made sure that Gordon was away, busy with an explosion down town that The Joker had caused. It was his first one in a week and it got Gordon's attention just like he had hoped. He found the room without much trouble and slid inside closing and locking the door behind him. The room was bathed in darkness but he could make out her thin framed underneath the covers on the bed.

As he moved closer he took her in. He could tell that Carrillo had done a great deal of damage to her. Her arms were cut and bruised and her nose bruised from being broken and now was slightly crooked, her face still showed fading bruises. One of her arms was in a cast and he saw crutches leaning against the table beside her bed. He moved closer to her and leaned over her sleeping face. She looked peaceful, her face relaxed in her sleep. The Joker reached out a bare hand and traced the scar that marked her left eye. He felt her shift in her sleep at his touch.

“Time to wake up beautiful.” The Joker muttered to her.

She shifted again with a tiny groan of protest. The Joker couldn't help but let a tiny laugh escape his lips. The noise made her eyes pop open quickly. He smiled down at her but her face was anything but happy. Her blue eyes stared at him with an emotion that he had never seen on Doll's face- fear. Fear was written all over her face. Her blue eyes were wide as her body tensed underneath his touch. He didn't remove his hand but let it travel down her face. He gave her a look of curiosity at her response to him. Doll was never afraid of him, not even in the beginning. Doll was never afraid of anything ever.

She didn't say a word as she continued to look at him with wide eyes. Her body trembled underneath his touch. The Joker wasn't quite sure what to make of the situation. He finally decided if she was joking he would kill her because this joke was a bad one.

“What's the matter beautiful... bat got your tongue?” He asked as his hand traveled into her hair. He gave it a rough tug and she whimpered pitifully. The Joker clenched his teeth together as his eyes narrowed down at her.

“Why are you here?” She spoke in a tiny voice. It was not the voice of Doll, it was to innocent. It was to afraid. The Joker squinted his eyes to try to see her better in the dark. He was certain that he was in the right room and this girl had the same scars and appearance of his Doll... she just wasn't acting like his Doll.

“Well,” he began still staring down at her with curiosity. “You stood me up for a date.. I thought I would track you down.” The Joker answered as he shifted closer. She leaned as far as the bed and his hand tangled in her hair would allow her.

“A date?” She asked again. Looking at her face closely he saw something that made his insides twist. Tears were falling down her bruised and scared face.

“Who are you?” He finally asked her.

“I don't know.” She answered bluntly. It was silent in the room as the two stared at each other. The Joker was trying to assess the situation. He hoped for Doll's sake that this wasn't a joke. “I don't remember anything... I don't remember being her.” She explained finally.

“Well that explains a lot.” The Joker told her dryly as he liked his lips and scars. She cringed as she looked up at him. The hand that was tangled in her slid down once again over her face, he could feel the wetness of her tears on his hand. “You look like my Doll, but you're not her.” He told her plainly with a shake of his head as he stared at her. His eyes betrayed his emotions. He felt lost knowing that he had found Doll but the girl he found was no longer his Doll. He didn't know this girl. She wasn't the queen of chaos that he had met in that jail cell, she wasn't the fearless girl who sprung him from Arkham and killed without a second thought. This girl was afraid and he didn't know how to feel about it. He was never one for feeling and he didn't like that she was bringing them out in him.

“I'm sorry.” She whispered to him bringing him out of his spinning thoughts.

“Don't be but I'll make sure Carrillo is.” The Joker told her his lips twitching into a small smile. She may not be Doll but he was curious about this memory-less version of her.

“Carrillo? Is he the one who did this to me?” She asked him. She seemed more relaxed around him now. Her body no longer felt tense beneath his touch.

“Yeah, but don't worry your pretty little head about that, doll-face. You just do your best in getting your memory back. I want my Doll back and you just won't do.” He told her. The last part was said as he leaned in close to her ear. His voice was low and had a slight warning to it. He felt her shiver underneath him. He brushed his lips over her scared flesh and with that he twirled around and made his exit from her room. She stared wide eyed at him as she watched him close the door behind him.

When she was sure he was gone she let the breath she wasn't aware she was holding out. Her heart beat rapidly against her chest and she still stared widely at the closed door to her room. The Joker had come to visit her and she survived. Gordon didn't tell her much about him but her file did have a few things about him in it. Doll had broken him out of Arkham in return for breaking her out from Gordon's cell. From what she could tell from him a few minutes ago he acted like he actually cared about Doll. He seemed almost sad when he noticed that she was not the Doll he was hoping to find.

She couldn't go back to sleep know matter how hard she tried. Her mind was spinning from the conversation with The Joker. He had left hours ago but her skin still burned from his touch. She heard the door open and she quickly looked to see if it was him returning but it was just a very tired and frustrated looking Gordon. He looked surprised to see her awake but his expression suddenly turned alarmed when he saw her face.

“He came here?” Gordon asked with a large sigh. She gave him a look of pure confusion. “You have his face paint on your cheek.” He said nodding to her left side of her face were The Joker's face paint had smeared onto her when he kissed her.

She nodded her head in answer as she watched him run his hand down his face. He looked worn and tired.

“Did he hurt you?” Gordon asked as he moved closer towards her bed. She shook her head.

“He didn't hurt me. He just told me I wasn't her and that he didn't want me.” She explained to him quietly. She was staring down at her lap where her scared finger tapped randomly on her legs. “Was she with him? Were they... together?” She asked hesitantly.

Gordon shifted uncomfortable under her gaze. He wasn't sure how to handle her question. “To be honest I'm not sure what your relationship with The Joker is. All I know is what you read in your file.” He told her truthfully.

Her eyes narrowed and he once again saw a glimpse of Doll coming to life. “I'm not in a relationship with anyone. I'm not her!” She shouted the last part at him. It made Gordon jump in surprise. It was the first time since being here that she had ever raised her voice. She continued to glare at him.

“I'm sorry; I know you’re not her.” Gordon said trying to calm her down. Her facial expression didn't change.

“Are you sure? Everyone else seems to treat me just like I'm her. I don't want to hurt anyone. I'm so tired of everyone walking on egg shells around me like, like I'm some... freak show! They don't want to help me, they don't care. NO ONE CARES! I have no one and it's all her fault!” She screamed out at him.

“I care.” He told her calmly. She huffed at him unfazed.

“You don't care, you just feel guilty. I may not remember who I am but I'm not stupid. You just feel guilty because if Doll doesn't come back then I'm going to be locked up for what she did. You know she can handle it but you don't know about me.” She told him. Gordon was surprised how accurate she was but Doll had always had an uncanny way of knowing what people were thinking, he guessed that was a talent she still had.

“Your right, Doll.” He told her.

“Don't call me that. I'm not her don't call me by her name!” She told him.

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.” Gordon apologized calmly. “Why don't you lay back down and try to go back to sleep. You've had an interesting day and your brain needs a rest.” Gordon suggested as he slumped down in his sit beside her bed.

She stared silently at him for a moment before settling back into her bed. He heard he sigh before she rolled over on to her side facing away from her. Gordon rubbed his hand over his tired face before leaning back in the chair to get some sleep himself. He was sure tomorrow would lead to more question from her. He just wasn't sure if could and want to give her the answers she wanted. She kept telling him that she didn't want her memory but she was becoming more like Doll every day. He was sure The Joker's visit didn't help her any. To her it seemed like he was the only one that truly wanted Doll back. Gordon hoped to show her that that wasn't true. Both she and Gordon fell into fitful slumbers but with heavy minds.