‹ Prequel: Toxic
Confession
Chapter 7
-Dans POV-
the flat had fallen in to a deafening silence since Lucy had left, Phil was sitting in the arm chair by the window staring out over the inky black london skyline with skye sleeping soundly in his arms, he was mindlessly fiddling with her soft hair, his eyes glazed over the odd tear rolling down his flushed cheek leaving behind a fresh track, he repeatedly pushed his long thick fringe out of his face as if it where irritating him, I hadn't heard his velvety voice in hours.
"Phil? did you want dinner?" He shook his head not taking his eyes from the window I sighed and walked towards him gently caressing his shoulder "Things will get better babe you've still got me and Skye we won't leave"
"skye just doesnt have a mother now and I've got to face raising her alone and I'm not your babe"
Hurt by his comment but not ready to quit
"I love you"
"No you don't"
He replied as he put Skye in her bouncer
"Yeah Phil I do and I think I always have theres always been a longing there to be yours I was jealous of Summer and Lucy Phil I want the happy little family and I want everything else that goes with it, I want to be the one to wipe your tears and calm your stresses and I'm willing to change a shitty arse or two in the middle of the night just to be yours Phil I love you"
He looked over at me angrily and began to walk over,
"You DON'T love me Dan and you never have okay you just want to feel apart of something because you never have before you where an outcast at school and I was just the unfortunate one who stepped in to save you! Now because of youI've lost my fiancee my car and quite possibly my bank card all I've got is Skye and she is all that matters to me right now! now get the fuck away from me before I do something that I regret"
His body language intimidated me and I trembled slightly,
"Phil please"
I reached towards him trying to hold his hand
"Don't fucking touch me just get away from me I can't deal with you right now"
as tears burned my eyes I slowly walked away, I went in to my room and climbed in to bed pulling the duvet over my head I curled in to a ball and fell apart my heart was in shards, as the warm tears fell I tried to imagine my next move, none of the suggestions making logical sense.
In one swift movement I kicked the covers off and stood up aggresively wiping the my eyes with the back of my hand, shoved the en suit door open, I looked around the small blue tiled room and next to the skin was a silverly gleam, a sharp shot of pleasure ripped through my veins as a sickening excitment ripped through me, i took small quick steps to the sink and picked up a shampoo bottle and slammed it down so the plastic casing split with a quite crack there was a metallic ping as the blade hit the floor, I bent down and played with the cold metal in my hand, with out any hesitation I dragged the sharp blade across my forearm a bittersweet pain made me shuddder as I looked down at the bright red oozing laceration I had just inflicted on myself and smiled slightly, I wateched the crimson blood dance freely down my arm and splash on to the tiles for a few seconds before washing my arm with warm water, after wrapping a bandage around the wound I pulled my hoodie on i felt satisfied.
I walked in to the front room as there was a loud thumping on the door, phil was now sat ont he sofa and Skye was asleep, he was obviously ignoring the door. I sighed and walked over to the door pulling it open to be faced with two uniformed police officers
"Good evening we are looking for a Mr Phillip Lester"
"Look if this is about the Summer thing youre too late the times passed and he needs to move on"
"It would be ideal with we could speak to him Mr..."
"Howell! fine come in"
they follwed me in to the front room and addressed Phil
"Mr Lester?"
he looked around a sudden shock painted across his face as he looked up at the officers
"Yes?"
"Can we take a seat"
"Sure"
they sat down on either side of him and carried on speaking
"Theres been an accident and we're sorry but your fiancee was the only fatalitly"
I watched as the colour drained from his face and his expression went from angry to devastated
"Wh..What? are you sure its her"
"Yes Miss Lucy Hedger?"
He nodded tears flooding down his face he sat expressionless as the police arranged for him to identify her body, shortly after they left I sat next to him as he crumbled sobbing loudly in to my chest.
I didn't know if he was going to bounce back from this.
the flat had fallen in to a deafening silence since Lucy had left, Phil was sitting in the arm chair by the window staring out over the inky black london skyline with skye sleeping soundly in his arms, he was mindlessly fiddling with her soft hair, his eyes glazed over the odd tear rolling down his flushed cheek leaving behind a fresh track, he repeatedly pushed his long thick fringe out of his face as if it where irritating him, I hadn't heard his velvety voice in hours.
"Phil? did you want dinner?" He shook his head not taking his eyes from the window I sighed and walked towards him gently caressing his shoulder "Things will get better babe you've still got me and Skye we won't leave"
"skye just doesnt have a mother now and I've got to face raising her alone and I'm not your babe"
Hurt by his comment but not ready to quit
"I love you"
"No you don't"
He replied as he put Skye in her bouncer
"Yeah Phil I do and I think I always have theres always been a longing there to be yours I was jealous of Summer and Lucy Phil I want the happy little family and I want everything else that goes with it, I want to be the one to wipe your tears and calm your stresses and I'm willing to change a shitty arse or two in the middle of the night just to be yours Phil I love you"
He looked over at me angrily and began to walk over,
"You DON'T love me Dan and you never have okay you just want to feel apart of something because you never have before you where an outcast at school and I was just the unfortunate one who stepped in to save you! Now because of youI've lost my fiancee my car and quite possibly my bank card all I've got is Skye and she is all that matters to me right now! now get the fuck away from me before I do something that I regret"
His body language intimidated me and I trembled slightly,
"Phil please"
I reached towards him trying to hold his hand
"Don't fucking touch me just get away from me I can't deal with you right now"
as tears burned my eyes I slowly walked away, I went in to my room and climbed in to bed pulling the duvet over my head I curled in to a ball and fell apart my heart was in shards, as the warm tears fell I tried to imagine my next move, none of the suggestions making logical sense.
In one swift movement I kicked the covers off and stood up aggresively wiping the my eyes with the back of my hand, shoved the en suit door open, I looked around the small blue tiled room and next to the skin was a silverly gleam, a sharp shot of pleasure ripped through my veins as a sickening excitment ripped through me, i took small quick steps to the sink and picked up a shampoo bottle and slammed it down so the plastic casing split with a quite crack there was a metallic ping as the blade hit the floor, I bent down and played with the cold metal in my hand, with out any hesitation I dragged the sharp blade across my forearm a bittersweet pain made me shuddder as I looked down at the bright red oozing laceration I had just inflicted on myself and smiled slightly, I wateched the crimson blood dance freely down my arm and splash on to the tiles for a few seconds before washing my arm with warm water, after wrapping a bandage around the wound I pulled my hoodie on i felt satisfied.
I walked in to the front room as there was a loud thumping on the door, phil was now sat ont he sofa and Skye was asleep, he was obviously ignoring the door. I sighed and walked over to the door pulling it open to be faced with two uniformed police officers
"Good evening we are looking for a Mr Phillip Lester"
"Look if this is about the Summer thing youre too late the times passed and he needs to move on"
"It would be ideal with we could speak to him Mr..."
"Howell! fine come in"
they follwed me in to the front room and addressed Phil
"Mr Lester?"
he looked around a sudden shock painted across his face as he looked up at the officers
"Yes?"
"Can we take a seat"
"Sure"
they sat down on either side of him and carried on speaking
"Theres been an accident and we're sorry but your fiancee was the only fatalitly"
I watched as the colour drained from his face and his expression went from angry to devastated
"Wh..What? are you sure its her"
"Yes Miss Lucy Hedger?"
He nodded tears flooding down his face he sat expressionless as the police arranged for him to identify her body, shortly after they left I sat next to him as he crumbled sobbing loudly in to my chest.
I didn't know if he was going to bounce back from this.