Status: Currently updating on the weekends!! I'll try to get some updates up during the week, but no promises...
Jackass: The Next Generation
Hard Ass
Adam, Les, Tay, and Jack sat in Adam and Les' college dorm room. Tay wasn't even suppose to be in there, but she didn't really care. It's not like she is playing hanky-panky with anyone in there. The thought grossed her out. Jack was at the computer desk editing their latest episode of Living La Vida Crazy. Tay, Les, and Adam were sitting criss-cross on the floor.
"Are we gonna make this one all about shopping cart accidents?" Jack asked as he scrolled through all of the snippets of the stunts that they had filmed in the past week. "Because that is pretty much all we got on tape." He said.
"Well, what about Tay's grocery store incident?" Adam said, trying to sustain his laugh.
"Oh god. That was like the biggest failure. No one was even paying attention." Tay said in protest. Earlier that week, they had dressed Tay up in pigtails, and a Little Bo-Peep outfit they had found at the thrift shop. Since she had a raspy voice, they wanted her to go around the store asking for the most absorbent tampons she could find. In reality, that prank should have stayed in the notebooks they brainstorm in. No one in the store got it, and when she went up to pay no one even looked at her. She got asked if she was drunk on the way out because she started "accidentally" knocking things off shelves. They thought it was gonna be gold, and it ended up being shit.
"Well maybe it would have been better -" Tay was cut off by the sound of Adam's cell phone ringing. He picked it up and didn't recognize the number.. or area code.
"Do you guys know this number." He asked flashing his phone at everyone. They all shake there heads.
"Answer it on speaker," Tay mentioned. Adam slid the arrow to answer, and then pressed the speaker button.
"Hello?" Adam said.
"Hi, this is Jeff Tremaine, from Dickhouse Productions, is this Adam Kuzmiki?" Tay looks at Adam with wide eyes, that he gladly exchanged.
"Yes, this is Adam, how can I help you Mr. Tremaine?" he asked. Tay punches him in the arm and gives him a "what the fuck is wrong with you" look. Jeff let out a chuckle at his response.
"Sorry my friend is such a little priss," Tay said, taking control over the situation. Jeff started laughing at Tay's remark.
"Okay guys, let me just cut to the chase." Jeff started, "We want to start a new series that is based off of Jackass. So, we want to invite you Living La Vida Crazy guys to LA so we can shoot a couple of promos that we can send to MTV. You guys down?" The 4 friends were quiet, trying to process what was just proposed to them.
'I don't know about you guys, but I'm up for it." Tay said. They guys exchange glances.
"Yeah we can do that. We would love to be part of your new show." Adam said.
"Great! I will email you guys the travel information. See you in 2 weeks!" Jeff exclaimed before hanging up the phone. Jack then hit Adam upside the head.
"What the hell dude! We can't just leave school!" He yelled.
"I don't think any of us belong here anyway. We barley even go to fucking class, it would just be less of a burden on our parents, so they wont have to pay for a college education that we wont need." Adam explained to him.
"But still, my mom will disown me if I drop out." Jack said looking down at his hands. Adam let out a sigh, and ran his hand through his hair.
"You know what Jack, fine. Stay then. We aren't gonna make you come with us to LA. But when you are stuck here, wasting 3 more years of your life in school, and you are stuck with the same job as every other middle-aged man in America don't come crying to us." Les said to him in a stern voice. Everyone went silent after he had said that. They all knew it as true. None of them wanted to end up like that. Jack let out an exaggerated sigh.
"Fuck this shit, when do we leave." Jack said.
"You look like a fucking dickhead,"Darien said to Cass as they walked out of the terminal of Los Angelas International Airport.
"Look who's talking! You wearing a mother fucking G-shock! Who in there right mind would pay 130 bucks for a watch?" Cass shot back at him.
"Will you pricks knock it off? We are in an airport, and I don't feel like getting arrested today." Danny to his friends. They calmed down as the group got to luggage claim.
"Isn't your cousin supposed to be picking us up?" Gabe asked Darien.
"Yeah, I think that's him." Darien said unsurely. Bam had lost weight from the last time Darien had saw him.
"What's up you little shit heads?" Bam said, grabbing Darien into a headlock.
"Get off me you fat fuck!" Darien said trying to break out of his cousins grip.
"Fine. We gotta go anyway, the other guys are there already." Bam said releasing Darien. Darien was rubbing the side of his neck as he rolled his luggage to Bam's black 2012 Yukon XL.
"So did you guys know that you have a chick cast mate?" Bam said as the 4 guys piled in the car.
"Are you serious?" Cass said, a little more excited than he intended for it to come out. Bam glanced over his shoulder and gave him a weird look.
"Don't get too excited horn-dog. She is a little rough around the edges." Bam explained.
"What do you mean?" Darien asked him.
"You'll see kid." Bam said as he turned to get on the freeway and toward Dickhouse Productions.
As the car full of rowdy guys pulled up to the rainbow,Tay , Adam, Jack and Les met with all the original cast members.
"How come we arent waiting for the other guys?" Tay asked Johnny. As you can already see, Tay isn't shy. Because she was raised in a house full of boys (3 older brothers, and her dad) and she grew up only having friends that were boys, she was blessed with a sailor mouth and a cut throat attitude.
"They already know us. Its just Bam's younger cousin Darien and his 3 friends that pretty much grew up at Castle Bam." Johnny told her. Tay nods. They hear the front door that leads into the lobby open.
"We are here son of a bitches!" They heard someone yell. That someone was Darien. Tay rolled her eyes at his smart remark. she could already tell this guy was gonna get on her nerves. Bam walked into the room that the others were in, with the 4 guys he just picked up in tow. Tay didn't even bother to look up at the guys. She walked over to Adam and gave him a look.
"Jeff threw us in with a bunch of douche bags didn't he?" Tay said. Adam only shrugged.
"Maybe there just the, "I'm loud and proud" kind of people." Adam suggested. Before Tay had a chance to answer, Jeff was trying to get everyone's attention.
"Alright guys. Now that we have everyone, I want to assign you all your mentors. I assigned them judging on your old videos, what your good at and what there good at." he explained. "Okay so first, Adam, you are with Johnny." Adam nodded as Johnny walked over to where he was standing.
"I got your back kid," he said, and Adam let out a chuckle.
"Darien your with Steve." Out of curiosity, Tay looked over to see who this Darien guy was. He was a lanky, tall blonde guy, with a nasty scowl on his face. She only glanced and then her attention was back at Jeff.
"Tay, you gotta deal with Bam." He said. Tay looked over at her mentor and gave him a head bob.
"Sorry, are you too much of a hard ass to talk?" he asked her. She shot him a scowl.
"No." She mumbled under her breath. She stuck her finger in her mouth and started to bite her gnaw on her nails. A habit she picked up, when she needs to bite her tongue. She had a feeling she was gonna be doing that a lot with these guys. Long story short, here is a list of who got stuck with which mentor:
Adam- Johnny Knoxville
Les- Chris Pontius
Tay- Bam Margera
Darien- Steve-O
Danny- Preston Lacy
Gabe- Wee-Man
Cass- Dave England
Jack- Ehren McGhehey
Darien was pissed. He knew, well everyone knew, whoever got stuck with Knoxville was gonna be the "Star" of the show. When the day was done everyone decided to go out for drinks, well those who were of age. But before that, Darien pulled Jeff aside.
"Why did you out Adam with Knox?" he asked. Jeff gave him a weird look, but then registered what he really meant.
"Adam isn't the star of the show, D. Just because I put him with Knoxville doesn't really mean anything. So stop getting all butthurt. Your lucky your even on this show, these other guys have been posting there own little show on YouTube for almost 4 years and what have you guys done?" He asked him. "Exactly, nothing. So get off your high horse, and just have fun with it." Jeff said before leaving Darien angry as could be.
"Are we gonna make this one all about shopping cart accidents?" Jack asked as he scrolled through all of the snippets of the stunts that they had filmed in the past week. "Because that is pretty much all we got on tape." He said.
"Well, what about Tay's grocery store incident?" Adam said, trying to sustain his laugh.
"Oh god. That was like the biggest failure. No one was even paying attention." Tay said in protest. Earlier that week, they had dressed Tay up in pigtails, and a Little Bo-Peep outfit they had found at the thrift shop. Since she had a raspy voice, they wanted her to go around the store asking for the most absorbent tampons she could find. In reality, that prank should have stayed in the notebooks they brainstorm in. No one in the store got it, and when she went up to pay no one even looked at her. She got asked if she was drunk on the way out because she started "accidentally" knocking things off shelves. They thought it was gonna be gold, and it ended up being shit.
"Well maybe it would have been better -" Tay was cut off by the sound of Adam's cell phone ringing. He picked it up and didn't recognize the number.. or area code.
"Do you guys know this number." He asked flashing his phone at everyone. They all shake there heads.
"Answer it on speaker," Tay mentioned. Adam slid the arrow to answer, and then pressed the speaker button.
"Hello?" Adam said.
"Hi, this is Jeff Tremaine, from Dickhouse Productions, is this Adam Kuzmiki?" Tay looks at Adam with wide eyes, that he gladly exchanged.
"Yes, this is Adam, how can I help you Mr. Tremaine?" he asked. Tay punches him in the arm and gives him a "what the fuck is wrong with you" look. Jeff let out a chuckle at his response.
"Sorry my friend is such a little priss," Tay said, taking control over the situation. Jeff started laughing at Tay's remark.
"Okay guys, let me just cut to the chase." Jeff started, "We want to start a new series that is based off of Jackass. So, we want to invite you Living La Vida Crazy guys to LA so we can shoot a couple of promos that we can send to MTV. You guys down?" The 4 friends were quiet, trying to process what was just proposed to them.
'I don't know about you guys, but I'm up for it." Tay said. They guys exchange glances.
"Yeah we can do that. We would love to be part of your new show." Adam said.
"Great! I will email you guys the travel information. See you in 2 weeks!" Jeff exclaimed before hanging up the phone. Jack then hit Adam upside the head.
"What the hell dude! We can't just leave school!" He yelled.
"I don't think any of us belong here anyway. We barley even go to fucking class, it would just be less of a burden on our parents, so they wont have to pay for a college education that we wont need." Adam explained to him.
"But still, my mom will disown me if I drop out." Jack said looking down at his hands. Adam let out a sigh, and ran his hand through his hair.
"You know what Jack, fine. Stay then. We aren't gonna make you come with us to LA. But when you are stuck here, wasting 3 more years of your life in school, and you are stuck with the same job as every other middle-aged man in America don't come crying to us." Les said to him in a stern voice. Everyone went silent after he had said that. They all knew it as true. None of them wanted to end up like that. Jack let out an exaggerated sigh.
"Fuck this shit, when do we leave." Jack said.
"You look like a fucking dickhead,"Darien said to Cass as they walked out of the terminal of Los Angelas International Airport.
"Look who's talking! You wearing a mother fucking G-shock! Who in there right mind would pay 130 bucks for a watch?" Cass shot back at him.
"Will you pricks knock it off? We are in an airport, and I don't feel like getting arrested today." Danny to his friends. They calmed down as the group got to luggage claim.
"Isn't your cousin supposed to be picking us up?" Gabe asked Darien.
"Yeah, I think that's him." Darien said unsurely. Bam had lost weight from the last time Darien had saw him.
"What's up you little shit heads?" Bam said, grabbing Darien into a headlock.
"Get off me you fat fuck!" Darien said trying to break out of his cousins grip.
"Fine. We gotta go anyway, the other guys are there already." Bam said releasing Darien. Darien was rubbing the side of his neck as he rolled his luggage to Bam's black 2012 Yukon XL.
"So did you guys know that you have a chick cast mate?" Bam said as the 4 guys piled in the car.
"Are you serious?" Cass said, a little more excited than he intended for it to come out. Bam glanced over his shoulder and gave him a weird look.
"Don't get too excited horn-dog. She is a little rough around the edges." Bam explained.
"What do you mean?" Darien asked him.
"You'll see kid." Bam said as he turned to get on the freeway and toward Dickhouse Productions.
As the car full of rowdy guys pulled up to the rainbow,Tay , Adam, Jack and Les met with all the original cast members.
"How come we arent waiting for the other guys?" Tay asked Johnny. As you can already see, Tay isn't shy. Because she was raised in a house full of boys (3 older brothers, and her dad) and she grew up only having friends that were boys, she was blessed with a sailor mouth and a cut throat attitude.
"They already know us. Its just Bam's younger cousin Darien and his 3 friends that pretty much grew up at Castle Bam." Johnny told her. Tay nods. They hear the front door that leads into the lobby open.
"We are here son of a bitches!" They heard someone yell. That someone was Darien. Tay rolled her eyes at his smart remark. she could already tell this guy was gonna get on her nerves. Bam walked into the room that the others were in, with the 4 guys he just picked up in tow. Tay didn't even bother to look up at the guys. She walked over to Adam and gave him a look.
"Jeff threw us in with a bunch of douche bags didn't he?" Tay said. Adam only shrugged.
"Maybe there just the, "I'm loud and proud" kind of people." Adam suggested. Before Tay had a chance to answer, Jeff was trying to get everyone's attention.
"Alright guys. Now that we have everyone, I want to assign you all your mentors. I assigned them judging on your old videos, what your good at and what there good at." he explained. "Okay so first, Adam, you are with Johnny." Adam nodded as Johnny walked over to where he was standing.
"I got your back kid," he said, and Adam let out a chuckle.
"Darien your with Steve." Out of curiosity, Tay looked over to see who this Darien guy was. He was a lanky, tall blonde guy, with a nasty scowl on his face. She only glanced and then her attention was back at Jeff.
"Tay, you gotta deal with Bam." He said. Tay looked over at her mentor and gave him a head bob.
"Sorry, are you too much of a hard ass to talk?" he asked her. She shot him a scowl.
"No." She mumbled under her breath. She stuck her finger in her mouth and started to bite her gnaw on her nails. A habit she picked up, when she needs to bite her tongue. She had a feeling she was gonna be doing that a lot with these guys. Long story short, here is a list of who got stuck with which mentor:
Adam- Johnny Knoxville
Les- Chris Pontius
Tay- Bam Margera
Darien- Steve-O
Danny- Preston Lacy
Gabe- Wee-Man
Cass- Dave England
Jack- Ehren McGhehey
Darien was pissed. He knew, well everyone knew, whoever got stuck with Knoxville was gonna be the "Star" of the show. When the day was done everyone decided to go out for drinks, well those who were of age. But before that, Darien pulled Jeff aside.
"Why did you out Adam with Knox?" he asked. Jeff gave him a weird look, but then registered what he really meant.
"Adam isn't the star of the show, D. Just because I put him with Knoxville doesn't really mean anything. So stop getting all butthurt. Your lucky your even on this show, these other guys have been posting there own little show on YouTube for almost 4 years and what have you guys done?" He asked him. "Exactly, nothing. So get off your high horse, and just have fun with it." Jeff said before leaving Darien angry as could be.
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Yay! Chapter 2! Tell me what you think, your opinions, thoughts predictions. I am really open to anything! Anything i should add or take out. Just let me know!Comment, Rate, Subscribe!
~Sen