Jackass: The Next Generation

Tay abruptly woke up when she heard her hotel phone go off. Throwing her blankets off of her body, she got up and went to the phone in the kitchen.

"Hello?" She said, her voice even raspier than normal.

"Hello Tay, this is your 7:30 wake up call from Mr. Tremain. He said to be in the banquet room on the first floor." Said an overly enthusiastic lady over the phone. She sighed dramatically.

"Okay, thanks," she said groggily before hanging up the phone. She started walking back to her room and saw all the empty plates on the floor from the night before. She remembered falling asleep in the couch. But woke up on her bed? To tired to think about it, she just went to her room and pulled out the first article of clothing that she saw in her suitcase. Which was just a pair of skinny jeans and a grey zip up hoodie. She yanked off her grey sweats and threw on the clothes. After that, she made her way to the living room area and grabbed a room key and her cell phone and then headed out the door. She tried thinking about what she did last night. She knew that Les bought her a weird island drink thing at the bar, and she took a shot with the other guys. She also knew that she spent a majority of the night with Darien.. Or "the cousin" as all the Jackass guys call him. She got onto the elevator and started thinking about Darien. She has never felt like this about any guy. But then again, she doesn't know him very well. He could be a crock pot full of shit for all she knew. Then she thought of his amazing green eyes... How she could just get hypnotized in them... She shook her head as the elevator doors opened up to the lobby. She heard distant shouting coming from one of the banquet rooms.

"Your a fucking prick!" Adam boomed. He is not a yeller, so Tay was taken aback.

"Oh yeah?! I'll show you a prick!" She heard a familiar voice yell back. Tay ran to where the yelling was coming from. As the banquet doors flung open, she saw Les standing in between Darien and Adam.

"What the hell is going on?" Tay asked confused. Adams face was red from anger and Darien had his fists balled up on each of his sides. They all looked over at Tay, with anger still drawn on there faces.

"Well these 2 started screaming at each other," Les started. "For no fucking reason honestly." He said pushing them both back from each other.

"It's 'cause he is a little bitch," Adam mumbled under his breath.

"Why don't you say that to my face?" Darien said, trying to look tough, but really looking like a douche.

"Fuck you, man!" Adam shouted.

"What the fuck is all the yelling about?!" Jeff yelled as he entered the banquet room. The guys froze as he approached them.

"Look Jeff I cou—" Darien started before Jeff cut him off.

"I don't want to hear it from you!" He said raising his voice, and running his hand over his face.

"You pick a fight with one, ONE cast member and your gone! You got it?!" Jeff screamed, while his face turned a bright shade of red. "I didn't like your attitude when Bam would bring you on the set all those years ago, and I refuse to put up with it on this set, you got it?!" Darien sighed.

"Got it," he mumbled.

"You better, all of you better." He said, then directing his attention toward the 4 of them.

"Where are the other guys?" Jeff questioned as he looked around the empty room, a little irritability still in his voice.

"Right here." Danny said in a scratchy voice, as him and the other guys entered the banquet room. He had black Ray Bans covering his eyes. Gabe, Jack, and Cass followed close behind with tired eyes and pounding headaches. Jeff took a look at them, and shook his head.

"Go sit down, all of you." He says motioning to assorted chairs in the room. They go and sit, while Jeff stands up in front of all of them.

"Before we go on with filming, I need to lay some ground rules for you guys," he started. The 8 guys(and girl) moaned and groaned. Jeff ignored them though.

"First of all, I don't care if your gonna go out and get white boy wasted. But, you better get your asses to the set in the morning," he said to the group.

"Don't kill each other, try to get along. Your gonna be spending a lot of downtime together." He says, sending Darien a side glare.

*~*~

Tay makes her way to the elevator to go back up to her room.

"Hey Tay," She heard someone calling her name. Her head snapped up, and she saw Bam waving her over to the restaurant/bar area, where him, Steve-O and Darien sat at a table. Not really knowing how to talk to Darien, she just decided to forget what she had witnessed in the banquet room. She sluggishly made her way to the table, and took the empty seat next to Bam.

"So, were about to go to Dickhouse office to start filming, do you have any good ideas?" Steve asked her. She thought to herself.

"Not really. I'm up for anything the other guys have in mind." She said, her brain still half asleep. They all give each other glances.

"Alright then," Bam says before breaking out to a mischievous grin.

---

"Wait, wait, wait. I'm doing what?" Tay asked, as Les and Jack started to duct tape her arms to an office chair. But of course, the chair is at the top of a 7 foot ramp with a kiddy pool full of marbles waiting for her at the bottom.. They are sitting outside in the parking lot of Dickhouse productions. The guys didn't tell her what she was doing before, they just told her she is doing the first stunt of the day.

"Just sit there, and don't freak out." Bam tells her. Darien sends Bam a concerned look.

"You think she can handle this?" He whispered to Bam. Bam nods.

"She wants to be one of the boys, she has to be able to hang like the boys." He says.

"Quit talking shit over there!" Tay yelled over to the guys, they all chuckled. Tay takes a deep breath, and looks over the edge. A feeling of fear and excitement washed over her. So much for starting the day off slow, she thought to herself.

"You ready?" Rick, the camera guy, yelled up to Tay. She sent him a thumbs-up. Don't think, don't think, don't think, she kept telling herself.

"Ready Sis?" Les asked her. She nodded and closed her eyes tight.

"MY NAME IS TAY O'CONNELL AND THIS IS THE SLOPPY FINISH!" She yelled as the guys pushed her off the ramp. Tay felt as if she got punched in the stomach with butterflies. The office chair flew down the ramp at the speed of light.

"HOLY FUCK!" She screamed as she landed face first in the kiddy pool of marbles. As her face hit the marbles, she felt a jots of pain on her face.

"Ow!" She yelled, trying to roll over to her side. Trying to rip her hands off of the arm rests.

"This sucks," she says. Just then, the sound of a helicopter catches everyone's attention. A toy helicopter flies over the cast and crew and then the sound of paintballs, followed by the feeling of paintballs hits the whole right side of Tay. The helicopter then starts aiming the paintballs at everyone else. They rest of the guys start running around the parking lot like a bunch of wild ban-sheets.

"Fuck!"

"Dammit!"

"What the hell!?"

The helicopters stopped. Then Johnny and Adam come out from inside the van, in hysterics.

"You shoulda seen how you guys looked!" Johnny said, followed by his signature crackle of a laugh.

"Priceless, it was the funniest shit ever!" Adam says, bellowing over and holding his stomach. Everyone else is laughing too, well, except Tay.

"I'm still here guys." She says in a monotone voice. The guys then start laughing even harder.

"I got you Tay," Chris says, coming over with a pair of scissors. He sliced the duct tape off her wrist and set her free. She tried standing up, and then slipped right on her butt.

"I hate marbles." She moaned as she tried climbing out of the kiddy pool.

---

"Nice job today kid," Bam says, as he sat next to Tay on the balcony of there hotel room. Tay smiled.

"Thanks. I have to say, getting pelted with water balloons full of sex lube while riding a bike down the road, its the dream life." She says sarcastically as she kicks up her feet so that they rest on the rail. Bam laughed at her comment.

"So, I do need to have a serious talk with you though kid," He states, resting his elbows on his knees. Suprised, she shot him a confused glance. That's when she noticed the stress lines on his forehead, and the bags underneath his eyes. Also how he had this permanent look on his face. She didn't know what the look was, but it wasn't the look she had been watching on tv for years. Then, Tay realized, Bam, her mentor, her inspiration, the reason she started skateboarding, was getting old.

"It's about Darien," he says, that sure as hell snapped Tay out of her daze.

"What about him?" She asked, not really playing stupid well.

"You are a terrible bullshiter," he said as she looked down at her hands. "I just want to warn you about him. I mean, he is my cousin. He also isn't the nicest person." Shocked by this, she shot Bam another look. "I know he is great to you, maybe he changed, i honestly don't know. But what I do know is that he could be a real dick and pain in the ass. On the set of Jackass a umber of years ago, the guys would hate when i brought the little brat around. He would just give everyone lip, and be a big douche, and no one liked hi. It seems like he has grown up a little, but you never know." He explained. Tay sat and listened intently, taking in what Bam was saying. He didnt seem like a dick she thought to herself.

"Just be careful. I warned him already and now I'm warning you." He said. She just shook her head.

"Thanks for telling me this. I just want to let you know that, I have no intentions whatsoever in getting involved with any of these guys. They are co workers, friends, nothing more." She explained. Bam scoffed, and got up from the chair.

"Whatever you say Sis." He says before messing with her hair. "Ha, looks like that nickname is sticking."