Make-Believe Ballroom

Two lessons after the confrontation, she was sat at the desk again. Blue eyes brimming with tears. He had recreated what she had removed to the best of his ability. She felt that this was more haunting, there to remind her of what she had destroyed as punishment. Yet her heart beat increased and her stomach did wonderful flips, because most of it had been written down- word for word- matching what was once there.

Her lesson was spent reliving the past weeks which seemed to have happened so quickly. Thoughts rushing through her mind all the while, the most predominant being one that involved trying to talk to the boy she had behaved so awfully to.

"Miss Thompson, I need to speak to you." Mrs Humpherson said sternly as the bell echoed through the classroom, using her surname rather than her first name that she normally used with affection.

She was worried about what they had to discuss, definitely, but something else made dread settle in her stomach. If what needed to be said wasn't hurried, then she would be seeing Josh a lot sooner than she'd ever wanted if he entered the room, still undecided on what she could say to him.

She walked closer to the desk where the teacher was perched, knowing fully that she was pretending to be so engrossed in marking an exam paper. Her eyes finally raised as the class was filling with sixth form students. Looking over her shoulder rather than her face.

"Mr. Franceschi, could you join us?"

She glanced over her shoulder to see who she was beckoning with the same formality that had been used with her. It was who her eyes landed on immediately, wearing a sheepish look as he edged closer to stand by her side, trying desperately to catch her eye.

"I trust you know why you are here?"

She shook her head slightly, but noticed how he stood incredibly still and represented the perfect picture of guilt. Then it hit her like a pile of bricks. A blush of shame hit her cheeks as she tried to think of something to say that would justify her actions.

"You've both attended this school long enough to know that defacing school property is against the rules and punishable. Not only that, but you have drawn insulting images of myself. Imagine what impression that would create on a visitor to this school. What do you have to excuse this unacceptable behaviour?"

Both remained wordless and didn't dare to move.

"I am so disappointed that you find appropriate to use my teaching time as a social network. Especially you Saskia."

It had her squirming under the pressure of her stare and she noticed the audience that was watching the spectacle they were creating.

"I don't think that it's fair to blame her specifically. I am as responsible, if not more."

She finally looked straight at him willingly as he rose to her defence. Heightening the possibility of getting himself into further trouble.

"Would you like to have her share of punishment instead Joshua?" Mrs. Humpherson snapped sharply.

"Punishment?" she repeated the word, stricken with fear. It was one thing never associated with her, something she hadn't done anything to deserve before.

"Yes, but it seems your friend here will take it for you." she told her wickedly.

He watched how her face paled at the prospect, guilt riddling him as she wouldn't be stood there if it wasn't for his seemingly bright idea.

"I will." The words came too quickly for him to consider- defeating the point of the plan which would have them alone together.

"What are you doing!?" Everyone rotated to look at the interruption in the form of a boy who rose from his seat to express his thoughts on what his friend was doing.

"Josh you moron, if this is what you call..."

Nobody learnt the end of the sentence as he was dragged down by the girl beside him pulling at his shirt to make him sit. Returning them to the original entertainment of the lesson.

"No, I don't want his defense." she protested angrily, beginning to understand there was more to this beneath the surface.

"Saskia, come on. Just let me do it."

It was said for only her to hear, pleading he held in his voice and visible in his brown eyes.

Yet she glared in reply and faced the teacher once more. "No. I'm doing whatever you find fitting."

"Fine then, I'll see you both here after school for the first detention you will be doing. Now I'd hurry to your lesson Saskia." she said dismissively.

She knew what had happened, it was clear. He had succeeded in humiliating her and destroying her impeccable record that she worked so hard to upkeep. Angry tears stung the corners of her eyes that she couldn't allow to fall. It's all she seemed to do when she came in the general presence of him. She walked so quickly that her bag hit against her thigh with each step she took. She never imagined him capable of stooping so low.

♥

"Don't you think you're in enough trouble Joshua!"

He didn't pay any attention to the shrieking as he automatically followed the girl out of the room, giving him an added day to the punishment he suspected. He knew an hour spent tediously would be better than seeing her furious eyes constantly, knowing he was at the bottom of it.

"Saskia, wait please." he called as he jogged to catch up with her.

He never thought she would stop to face him so soon without persuasion. He counted that as a blessing at least.

"You know Josh, when I sat down earlier and saw what you had done, I felt so awful for pushing you away over such a silly thing. I thought of you redoing it all in an attempt to remind me of everything. I was seriously contemplating coming to find you and beg for forgiveness. Yet you did it was the spiteful intention. I didn't think you could do anything like that. I really pictured you as this beautiful person. Absolutely perfect Joshua. I lay awake thinking how impossible it was for someone like me to find someone like you to talk to. You made me laugh, I felt relaxed speaking to you and that's unheard of with me. And God when I saw you. Yet lets be honest, you just saw this timid girl with fake hair that wouldn't be worth your time."

He stood frozen by the words and the realisation finally of how she felt about him and why she reacted the way she did.

"I'm always being compared to Lauren, nobody who meets us prefers me over her. I know you'll find me pathetic when you hear this, but you don't know how much it hurt for me to be thought of as her by you. There was no competition when I wrote to you, or thoughts of my better friend because you were talking to me and not her." he watched her pretty face turn red as she struggled with tears.

"Saskia," he breathed out her name delicately, hoping to sooth her emotions "I am so sorry. Believe me and I'll say it as many times as you need to hear it before you accept it. It was a mistake, but you know I couldn't have done it deliberately hurt you and I am sorry that I thought this would be alright to do but I couldn't get you to listen to me otherwise could I?"

"You say you understand but I don't think you do anymore," she shook her head, he suspected it was to distract him from noticing the fresh tears spring from her eyes despite how hard she battled with them.

"Stop crying because of me," he pleaded quietly "I want to see for myself that smile I could make when I wrote down stupid things in the hope you'd find it funny. 'Cause despite what you think, Saskia, you are gorgeous in my eyes."

"I wish I could stop," she said quickly to prevent him making anymore compliments "they say the person that makes you cry isn't worth the tears at all."

The saying caught him, quite unprepared for her to be thinking that about him, of course he knew what was said was bitterly true and he wished he had the ability to accept this. But from her, he couldn't.

Just like he was unable to say anything to stop her sighing at his silence. He watched her eyes look down along with him letting her down, before she hurried away without him calling her back again.

He stood scolding himself, fighting his own desire to cry over what he had completely lost. Not being able to think of anything remotely redeeming to do and only felt dread spreading about spending that hour with her while he only felt guilt.

"Josh, man, are you alright?"

He frowned as he turned to see Max also out of the classroom.

"We could hear every word of what just happened, so I got myself sent out by throwing your bag at Steven's head." he explained, but without the mischievous glint he usually possessed when recounting one of his anecdotes. Max was completely serious, focused on comforting him and nothing more.

"Erm, thanks for that," he tried to smile in gratitude "I've messed up so much."

"We'll fix this." his friend promised, sliding down the wall to sit on the floor. His face contorted with thought.

"So I'm thinking that you write on your t-shirt-"

"No."

"But-"

"It won't work."

"You don't know what it is yet!"