Weightless

I never wanted to be this. I could have stopped this all. Nothing could be like this; everything could be perfect right now. I shouldn’t have to hide this from anyone, or even…him. I was falling for him. My best friend out of all people. Jack Barakat. This boy was everything to me. But I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with him. Maybe this was guilt, like I was obligated to fall in love with Jack because he was in love with me. But there was always this small part of my heart that couldn’t let go, that wanted him near me all the time. I had to have him near me. He was my rock, he kept me alive.
“Lex?” Jack asked, knocking on my bedroom door. He was right on time. I glanced at my alarm clock. 4:oo, he was on the dot. I text him after school saying to be at my house for 4, that it was important. Today way the day I was going to tell him everything.
“Come in”
Walking in I couldn’t help but stare without looking noticeable. He wore pitch black skinny jeans, skin tight, hugging every part of his lower half. Next was his shirt, a plain purple V-neck with faded swirls and misalliance patterns. He was tall and lanky, but he could pull it off. “So what’s up?” He asked, joining me on my bed. He sat right next to me, our arms brushing against one another’s, sending shivers up my skin.
“Jack”I began, taking a deep breath in, placing my hand over his that rested on his knee, “ I need to tell you something.”
We met each other’s eyes, holding one another’s gentle stare. “Alright, what is it Lex?”
I didn’t know what words would come out of my mouth, if any words would actually come out. I was speechless. I was never good at telling someone something. I may be quiet, but I always had something to say, tons actually. But this time I wasn’t going to let that stop me. I was in love with perfect person, no matter times I told myself this wasn’t me. Because in reality, this who I am, and right now, I am quite proud of who I am. “ let me show you”. I started to move closer to him slowly. My eyes taking in every aspect of his beautiful appearance. This long jaw line, his perky cheek bones, and even his nose, which was large, but yet I I would never change it. I could tell he hadn’t shaved in a few days, my eyes glancing over his short stubble. He sat there, his eyes moving, like they were trying to comprehend the situation. But soon I lost sight of him, my eyes now fully closed. That’s when I could feel it. My lips brushed up against his. We stayed like that for a couple seconds. I could sense the slight hesitation and surprise in Jack, but soon he loosened up. Our lips moving in rhythm, almost in sync. The taste of his lips was something indescribable. It was everything I thought I would be and yet still better. Everything disappeared, electricity racing through my veins. After a few minutes of innocent kissing, I moved my head back, breaking apart our lips, only to bring my ,lips up to kiss his forehead quickly. “I’m in love with you Jack Barakat.”
No words were spoken. Nothing for either of us. We just sat there on my bed, foreheads pressed against one another’s still.
After what seemed like an hour, but in real terms only a short ten minutes, Jack finally spoke, but his voice was shaky. “ You’re in love with me?”
“ Yes. I’m really in love with you Jack. I wish I would have noticed earlier becua-” I was interrupted with Jack planting a gentle, light quick kiss to my lips, then allowing me to finish. “Because I think I have been since the day I met you.”
“I love you too Alex”
“I’m sorry Jack. The day you told me that you were in love with me, I knew I loved you too, but I was still fighting it, and which caused me to tell you that I didn’t feel the same toward you. And sitting right now, those words taste like poison, and I would do anything to change them.”
“I wouldn’t” he whispered.
“Why?”
“Because, I know you, and if you were fighting to accept it, it wouldn’t last. But even though these last 6 months have been a living hell trying not to overwhelm you, broadcast that I love you or anything along that nature, I’m glad you said what you did, because right now, I can tell that you mean it.” And in that moment I did mean it. I really did love him. I was in love with Jack Barakat.