‹ Prequel: Stay Seventeen
The Distance Put Between Us
Chapter One
Karina's POV
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FLASHBACK
October 11, 2010
I opened the door to the airport, both my arms and legs shaking. I had graduated high school not too long ago, only about a few months ago or so. This past summer, these past two months, have been the best months of my life. I mean, not going to school during the summer was a huge bonus, but, being 18 and knowing I would never have to endure another day of that high school bullshit felt truly amazing. I could go out, party, get drunk as fuck, and not really have to worry about underage drinking anymore. My brother and his new band put out another album while I was still in high school called Nothing Personal, and as soon as a graduated high school, he texted me, telling me he'd come down with the boys and we'd have the rest of the summer to ourselves. Their new album was the soundtrack of my summer. I still remember that one night, we were all sitting outside next a campfire while drinking when he leaned over and whispered into my ear, "You know what, Karina? This album? I named it and wrote the songs after your high school years and, well... your downfall and all." He laughed, hitting the back of my shoulder with quite some force. And I laughed, too, considering we were all drunk as shit. I can't even remember one night during the summer when we all weren't drunk. Even if it wasn't all that drastic.
But, that was summer. Summer was behind us all now, though. My brother and his band went off in September to keep on recording and planning their huge tour that they had coming up in a few days. However, their record company was kind enough to let them take a day off and fly back down to Baltimore to drive me to the airport, say their last final goodbyes.
"I don't wanna go," I practically choked on my own words, running into my brother's chest, bursting into tears. He was so warm and comforting, and familiar, and the fact that this would be the last time I'd see him for a long time made me cry even more. He hugged me back, kissing the top of my head gently. "I won't know anything or anybody there and I won't know what to do and I'll just fuck everything up. Just take me home, Alex."
"Don't say that," He said, rubbing my back. "You don't really mean that, Kar, and you know it. Come on, this is everything you've ever wanted, remember?"
Yes, I did remember. I remembered the night I sat down with him and told him how much I wanted to do this college thing, how much I couldn't wait to get out of highschool, how much I wanted to keep my recovery going.
And yet, here I was, and now I wanted to back out.
Same shit, different day.
"I- I changed my mind, don't make me go," I sniffled, shaking my head and trying to bury it farther into Alex's hoodie. "I don't wanna go unless you come with me."
"You don't really mean that," Alex said, taking my hand and pulling me farther into the airport, bringing me into a fast food line. "You just need a good breakfast, and some encouragement. You're gonna do great things in life, Karina. Don't let us all down just because you're scared right now, you'll get used to it, I promise."
"I'll hold you up to that promise, Gaskarth."
He winked at me before looking up and ordering a trayful of food for me and the rest of the crew. Alex didn't really think it was such a good idea for Zack and Rian to come down, but I wanted them here as much as I wanted everyone else, and with a couple minutes of whining and nagging I finally got my way.
We all sat down at a table, looking gloomy. Jack took a seat right next to me, taking my hand in his and giving it a tight squeeze.
"You'll be okay, yeah? We'll always be here for you, Kar, you know that from past experiences."
"Yeah," I sighed, twirling the straw in my milkshake my brother had bought me. Great choice of a breakfast drink. "But it won't be the same as before."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, for starters, you guys won't be by my side every single day." I sighed again, more drastically this time. "No matter how many times you guys annoyed me, I still loved and cherished your prescence more than anything else. The good times always outweigh the bad ones, always."
"Bullshit, we won't be there all the time!" Jack raised his voice a little, but no one seemed to notice. "You have your phone, call or FaceTime us! There's Skype, too, and worst comes to worst there's emailing and texting. Worst comes to worst comes to worst you can always send us a letter." He laughed, wrapping his hand around my shoulders and kissing my cheek.
Oh, gosh. Out of everyone, even my goofy, cheeky brother, I knew I would miss Jack the most.
He put his forehead on top of mine, his breath warm and smelled of breakfast and coffee. I grabbed his arms.
"You know, I think I'm gonna miss you the most."
"You know, me too." He said, taking hold of my hands. I giggled as he fiddled around with my fingertips before reaching into his pocket and placing something rigid in my palm.
"Now, don't open it until you get onto the plane, okay? Longer if you can wait, but not too long." He laughed, his lips meeting mine before we broke apart. He popped up out of his chair, waving to someone who had apperently caught his attention.
Oh yeah right, I forgot he was kind of famous now.
By the time we were done eating and talking about the band's big future plans, one of the flight attendants started to laod people onto the plane. I picked up some of my bags as Alex picked up the others, setting them down right next to boarding area.
"You sure you're gonna be alright without us, kiddo?" He looked at me, frowning.
No. I knew I wasn't going to be alright, I would be lucky if I made it through the first day, but I knew Alex was right. If I didn't take the chance now, I may never have the chance again. I finally knew what I wanted to do in life. I couldn't let this just pass me by.
"Yeah, I guess so." I said as Alex's hand reached up to ruffle my hair, just like he used to do when I was younger. It almost brought tears back to my eyes.
There was a long pause before Alex broke the ice with one last silent hug.
"I'm gonna miss you, kid." He whispered in my ear. He tore himself apart from me, taking off the silver chain necklace he always wore around his neck, latching it onto mine. I touched it, the warm silver sending shivers down my back. If the hair ruffling wasn't enough to jerk a tear, this certainly was.
"Thank you so much."
He patted me on the pack. "Not a problem for my favorite sister in the whole world," He said, giving me one last hug before stepping back. "I love you so much, I just want you to remember that always, okay? I'll miss you, Kar, call me whenever you can."
"Will do," My voice croaked as Jack approached me, not even bothering to stop and give a huge speech like Alex did before hugging me. Jack's hug was more like an attempt to strangle me, but it was much appreciated nonetheless. I tried to hug him back, but gave up after seeing he wasn't going to losen his grip.
"I'm gonna miss you so fuckin' much," He said, sighing. "You're definitely not the same kid I met back when I was in 8th grade."
I smiled, giggling a little bit. "I'm glad," I said, pushing my hair out of my face. "I don't ever wanna go back to being that same person ever again."
Me smiled, grabbing ahold of my fingers. "Good," He said, before grabbing my other hand, swinging them back and forth gently. I looked at him, his eyes glittering with sadness. It was gonna be so fucking hard for the both of us, I could tell right away.
"I love you," I whispered, almost unaudiable. But before I could get a response back, his warm lips met mine, his tongue prodding his way into my mouth.
It seemed like it lasted forever, that last kiss, when in all reality it might've lasted for two minutes at the most. It was passionate and caring, full of love, and I knew we were gonna have the hardest time dealing without one another out of all four boys.
It was going to be the hardest four years of my life, but I was ready.
"Last call for Flight #291 to New Heaven, Connecticut." The flight attendant lady said, looking at us sternly, putting down the mic. "Are you guys coming or not?"
"It's, uh, just me," My voice wavered as I picked up my bags, a shivering rocketing down my spine.
"You have the thing I gave to you before, right?" Jack said, looking concerned. "And my jacket? And my -"
"Yes, Jack, I've got it all, I promise." I laughed before I turned my back to walk away with the flight attendant. Jack's voice stopped me.
"Bye! I love you, I'll miss you!"
"I'll miss you, too." I said as humanly as possible. I was on the verge of a breakdown again. "Love you."
Everyone waved and said their last goodbyes before the door closed. And until then, it didn't fully hit me that I wouldn't see my brother, boyfriend, or any of his friends for a long, long time.
Longer than planned.
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END OF FLASHBACK
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FLASHBACK
October 11, 2010
I opened the door to the airport, both my arms and legs shaking. I had graduated high school not too long ago, only about a few months ago or so. This past summer, these past two months, have been the best months of my life. I mean, not going to school during the summer was a huge bonus, but, being 18 and knowing I would never have to endure another day of that high school bullshit felt truly amazing. I could go out, party, get drunk as fuck, and not really have to worry about underage drinking anymore. My brother and his new band put out another album while I was still in high school called Nothing Personal, and as soon as a graduated high school, he texted me, telling me he'd come down with the boys and we'd have the rest of the summer to ourselves. Their new album was the soundtrack of my summer. I still remember that one night, we were all sitting outside next a campfire while drinking when he leaned over and whispered into my ear, "You know what, Karina? This album? I named it and wrote the songs after your high school years and, well... your downfall and all." He laughed, hitting the back of my shoulder with quite some force. And I laughed, too, considering we were all drunk as shit. I can't even remember one night during the summer when we all weren't drunk. Even if it wasn't all that drastic.
But, that was summer. Summer was behind us all now, though. My brother and his band went off in September to keep on recording and planning their huge tour that they had coming up in a few days. However, their record company was kind enough to let them take a day off and fly back down to Baltimore to drive me to the airport, say their last final goodbyes.
"I don't wanna go," I practically choked on my own words, running into my brother's chest, bursting into tears. He was so warm and comforting, and familiar, and the fact that this would be the last time I'd see him for a long time made me cry even more. He hugged me back, kissing the top of my head gently. "I won't know anything or anybody there and I won't know what to do and I'll just fuck everything up. Just take me home, Alex."
"Don't say that," He said, rubbing my back. "You don't really mean that, Kar, and you know it. Come on, this is everything you've ever wanted, remember?"
Yes, I did remember. I remembered the night I sat down with him and told him how much I wanted to do this college thing, how much I couldn't wait to get out of highschool, how much I wanted to keep my recovery going.
And yet, here I was, and now I wanted to back out.
Same shit, different day.
"I- I changed my mind, don't make me go," I sniffled, shaking my head and trying to bury it farther into Alex's hoodie. "I don't wanna go unless you come with me."
"You don't really mean that," Alex said, taking my hand and pulling me farther into the airport, bringing me into a fast food line. "You just need a good breakfast, and some encouragement. You're gonna do great things in life, Karina. Don't let us all down just because you're scared right now, you'll get used to it, I promise."
"I'll hold you up to that promise, Gaskarth."
He winked at me before looking up and ordering a trayful of food for me and the rest of the crew. Alex didn't really think it was such a good idea for Zack and Rian to come down, but I wanted them here as much as I wanted everyone else, and with a couple minutes of whining and nagging I finally got my way.
We all sat down at a table, looking gloomy. Jack took a seat right next to me, taking my hand in his and giving it a tight squeeze.
"You'll be okay, yeah? We'll always be here for you, Kar, you know that from past experiences."
"Yeah," I sighed, twirling the straw in my milkshake my brother had bought me. Great choice of a breakfast drink. "But it won't be the same as before."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, for starters, you guys won't be by my side every single day." I sighed again, more drastically this time. "No matter how many times you guys annoyed me, I still loved and cherished your prescence more than anything else. The good times always outweigh the bad ones, always."
"Bullshit, we won't be there all the time!" Jack raised his voice a little, but no one seemed to notice. "You have your phone, call or FaceTime us! There's Skype, too, and worst comes to worst there's emailing and texting. Worst comes to worst comes to worst you can always send us a letter." He laughed, wrapping his hand around my shoulders and kissing my cheek.
Oh, gosh. Out of everyone, even my goofy, cheeky brother, I knew I would miss Jack the most.
He put his forehead on top of mine, his breath warm and smelled of breakfast and coffee. I grabbed his arms.
"You know, I think I'm gonna miss you the most."
"You know, me too." He said, taking hold of my hands. I giggled as he fiddled around with my fingertips before reaching into his pocket and placing something rigid in my palm.
"Now, don't open it until you get onto the plane, okay? Longer if you can wait, but not too long." He laughed, his lips meeting mine before we broke apart. He popped up out of his chair, waving to someone who had apperently caught his attention.
Oh yeah right, I forgot he was kind of famous now.
By the time we were done eating and talking about the band's big future plans, one of the flight attendants started to laod people onto the plane. I picked up some of my bags as Alex picked up the others, setting them down right next to boarding area.
"You sure you're gonna be alright without us, kiddo?" He looked at me, frowning.
No. I knew I wasn't going to be alright, I would be lucky if I made it through the first day, but I knew Alex was right. If I didn't take the chance now, I may never have the chance again. I finally knew what I wanted to do in life. I couldn't let this just pass me by.
"Yeah, I guess so." I said as Alex's hand reached up to ruffle my hair, just like he used to do when I was younger. It almost brought tears back to my eyes.
There was a long pause before Alex broke the ice with one last silent hug.
"I'm gonna miss you, kid." He whispered in my ear. He tore himself apart from me, taking off the silver chain necklace he always wore around his neck, latching it onto mine. I touched it, the warm silver sending shivers down my back. If the hair ruffling wasn't enough to jerk a tear, this certainly was.
"Thank you so much."
He patted me on the pack. "Not a problem for my favorite sister in the whole world," He said, giving me one last hug before stepping back. "I love you so much, I just want you to remember that always, okay? I'll miss you, Kar, call me whenever you can."
"Will do," My voice croaked as Jack approached me, not even bothering to stop and give a huge speech like Alex did before hugging me. Jack's hug was more like an attempt to strangle me, but it was much appreciated nonetheless. I tried to hug him back, but gave up after seeing he wasn't going to losen his grip.
"I'm gonna miss you so fuckin' much," He said, sighing. "You're definitely not the same kid I met back when I was in 8th grade."
I smiled, giggling a little bit. "I'm glad," I said, pushing my hair out of my face. "I don't ever wanna go back to being that same person ever again."
Me smiled, grabbing ahold of my fingers. "Good," He said, before grabbing my other hand, swinging them back and forth gently. I looked at him, his eyes glittering with sadness. It was gonna be so fucking hard for the both of us, I could tell right away.
"I love you," I whispered, almost unaudiable. But before I could get a response back, his warm lips met mine, his tongue prodding his way into my mouth.
It seemed like it lasted forever, that last kiss, when in all reality it might've lasted for two minutes at the most. It was passionate and caring, full of love, and I knew we were gonna have the hardest time dealing without one another out of all four boys.
It was going to be the hardest four years of my life, but I was ready.
"Last call for Flight #291 to New Heaven, Connecticut." The flight attendant lady said, looking at us sternly, putting down the mic. "Are you guys coming or not?"
"It's, uh, just me," My voice wavered as I picked up my bags, a shivering rocketing down my spine.
"You have the thing I gave to you before, right?" Jack said, looking concerned. "And my jacket? And my -"
"Yes, Jack, I've got it all, I promise." I laughed before I turned my back to walk away with the flight attendant. Jack's voice stopped me.
"Bye! I love you, I'll miss you!"
"I'll miss you, too." I said as humanly as possible. I was on the verge of a breakdown again. "Love you."
Everyone waved and said their last goodbyes before the door closed. And until then, it didn't fully hit me that I wouldn't see my brother, boyfriend, or any of his friends for a long, long time.
Longer than planned.
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END OF FLASHBACK