Love Lost

"Wow." Is all Lydia can manage once I finish explaining the previous day's situation with Dean to her.

I let out a soft sigh and roll onto my stomach, my chin now resting on her stomach. It's approximately 3 in the afternoon and Lydia and I are sprawled on her bed dressed in over-sized t-shirts, sweatpants, and fuzzy socks. Since neither of us have class today, the both of us decided to have a lazy day where all we do is lie around eating anything that comes in sight and watch Netflix. We have absolutely no shame in doing so.

"El..." Lydia begins hesitantly.

"No. No, don't even think about it," I cut in with a deep frown.

"You don't know what'll happen, maybe you're supposed to tell him or something!"

I groan loudly. "Well even if I say yes to your stupid idea, how am I gonna find him? He could be anywhere in this damn city." I wasn't going to agree to her suggestion, I already know it, but sometimes it's necessary to make people believe you might do what they want so they become satisfied and shut up. I already can tell that Lydia wants to discuss it even further but I have lost all will to merely think about it.

"I'm gonna make some coffee," I mumble weakly as I pull myself up and trudge towards the coffee machine.

"Yeah, about that..." the blond says as she glances at her empty teal coffee cup resting on her bedside table. You've got to be kidding me.

Blowing harsh air out of my nose, I hastily pull on a pair of moccasins and grab my wallet, as well as my keys and North Face jacket. I grunt loudly, notifying Lydia that I will return later, then exit the apartment and begin making my way down the stairs and to the parking lot.

It feels as though five hours have passed when I arrive at my car and get the biggest urge to lay in my backseat to put myself in an state of eternal sleep. However I cannot, for I want coffee more than sleep at the moment. I get in the driver's seat and put the key in the ignition, roughly turning it to start the car. I connect my phone to the sound system and instantly put Ed Sheeran on shuffle. That's more like it.

The drive to the local student corner store is short for it is a mere 3 mile distance. When I arrive, I luckily find that there are only two other cars in the small-spaced parking lot. One of them is a new model of a red Honda Accord while the other is a shiny, black 1967 Chevy Impala. I whistle in interest as I pass by, admiring its classic beauty. I wonder whose it is for a moment before entering the store.

Briefly glancing around, I look for the aisle that contains the coffee. It takes me a minute but I soon find it and search for the cheapest brand. I then hear two men conversing an aisle over, their voices soft and hushed in a secret manner. I shrug, grabbing a can of grinds, and make my way to the cashier. He's a young college student, of course, around maybe 19 at least. I smile politely as I push my purchase towards him.

"Oh wait," I say suddenly before rushing to the snacks aisle to get a bag of beef jerky. I grab the biggest one one nearest me and turn to return to the counter when something stops me dead in my tracks, or rather, someone. Dean.

"Wait a minute..." the familiar deep voice of his starts in slow recognition.

"Gotta go, bye!" I squeal as I run back to the cashier. I shove a twenty dollar bill in the guy's hands and grab my things before sprinting to the door.

"Sam!" Dean yells and all of a sudden two steel-like arms wrap tightly around my torso and lift me in the air.

"Put me down!" I demand breathlessly, but it's no use. Sam throws me over his shoulder and starts for the beautiful Impala, Dean already waiting in the driver's seat. Of course this would be their car. Damn my luck.

During the car ride to wherever they were taking me, I don't dare acknowledge them. For these men to go as far as practically kidnapping me to answer to them... This must be more serious than I originally thought. Dean and Sam do not appear to be your average good-looking brothers and that idea gives me a really bad idea of what is to come.

I do feel fear for the situation I am in, but I can't help but contain a tiny sliver of... safety? Comfort? It's something about them that puts a sense of security in my being, even though they just abducted me.

Five minutes later, I see that we have arrived at some crappy hotel. Interesting place of choice. Dean gets out first, followed by Sam, then the door to my left swings open.

"C'mon, sweetheart," Dean says as he holds out his hand for me to take. I stare at if for a short period of time, considering whether or not I should do so.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he huffs, putting emphasis on every word. He said the exact same thing yesterday when he was chasing me.

I give in with a reluctant sigh and lay my much smaller hand in his. An abrupt wave of warmth washes over the area where our skin is touching before spreading to the top of my head and the bottom of my toes. I feel numb all over, as if someone shoved a needle in my arm and injected me with a local anesthetic. Dean gives me a questioning look as he helps me out of the car and slams the door behind me. He leads us to their hotel room and waits for Sam to unlock it.

Sam peers around momentarily for a brief inspection of the area. Once he sees that it is clear, he carefully opens it up and guides us inside. The room is simple enough; pale blue walls with white trimming, two full-sized beds, a bathroom, TV, mini fridge, and a small table with two chairs. Dean picks up one of the wooden chairs from its space beside the large window by the door and places it behind me. Anxiety boils up in my stomach as I willingly, more so because I feel like I am going to faint at any moment, take a seat. My hands are trembling as if I were in zero degree weather and I am almost positive Sam and Dean can hear my heart beat.

"It's okay, we just want to ask you a couple of questions," Sam says kindly as they sit themselves before me. That's exactly what I am afraid of. I lower my head to observe my moccasins, just realizing that I am still in my lazy attire.

"Ma'am?"

I jerk my head up.

"Can you even speak?" Dean asks impatiently.

Why is it so difficult for me to respond? My stomach clenches as I feel every single sense in my body shut down entirely, restricting my ability to interact with even myself. I then begin to hear a strangely low hum resonate in the darkest corner of my mind. It puts me in a trace that sends tremors throughout my body before settling in my brain. Deep, synchronized pulses echo in my chest, slowly making their way down to the pit of my stomach. I gasp, finding it a struggle to breathe correctly.

"Lady!"

I snap my darkened eyes up and meet those all too familiar green orbs holding the most indistinguishable glint of emotion. All of a sudden, the intensity of the various happenings that have taken over the conscious of my body increase at such a rate that they burst into billions of particles and compel me to do one thing and one thing only.

"Dean," I whisper hoarsely. Then everything comes crashing down.

Dean raises from his chair and strides toward me, slowly circling my chair. I lock my eyes with his the whole time until he slams his palms against the handles of the weak chair and brings his face merely inches from mine.

"How the hell do you know my name?" he questions threateningly before adding, "No bullshit. I will know if you're lying and honey... you sure don't want to lie to me of all people."

"Dean-" Sam starts to say.

"Who do you work for, hm? Lilith?"

"Dean, c'mon man-"

"The oh so goddamn holy angels of Heaven?"

"Dean!"

"Or maybe it's those fucking pesky little demons that seem to pop up everywhere we go!?"

"Dean!"

"What, Sam?"

"Quit it, man. She's crying," Sam says with a soft sigh, his face pulled into a deep frown of disappointment. Dean then turns to look at me and the stoic, tough-guy expression he holds falters. I am crying. I'm crying so hard that I can't even see what's in front of me properly.

"I'm sorry," I choke out, knotting my fingers together as I hang my head in defeat. I hear Dean take a few steps back and sit down.

The air is thick with uncertainty and discomfort. I want to run, run as far away as I possibly can. Dean... he mentioned a Lilith, angels, and... demons? What did he even mean by that? He couldn't be saying that demons are... real. That what I dreamed for those 4 months was... real.

"No," I whisper, staring at my hands. "N-no... that's not right."

"What's not right?" Sam inquires softly as he leans forward with his elbows resting on his knees and hands clasped together.

I look at Dean. "You..."

But I cannot get the words out. He gives me a strange look before leaning forward as Sam did and says, "Just answer this simple question. Have I, at any point, met you in any shape or form?"

"No," I reply shortly.

"Yet you know who I am," he retaliates with a quirked eyebrow.

"Yes," I say, so badly wanting this conversation to end already. I know where it is leading to.

"Has someone told you about me?"

I harshly bite the inside of my cheek. "I don't know."

Dean sighs as he leans back in his chair and rubs his lightly stubbled face.

"What do you mean by that?" Sam asks, picking up where Dean left off.

"I... you won't believe me," I finally whisper. The men glance at each other.

"Trust me sweetheart, we deal with crazy everyday. What is it?" Dean is now taking control of the conversation as he returns to his initial bent position.

My eyes flicker from Dean to Sam, contemplation weighing heavily on my thoughts until I decide to give in at last. I have nothing to lose. Shit, what am I saying? I have everything to lose.

"What I meant by that is I don't know if what showed me you was a person or a thing," I pause and take a breath before continuing, "About 4 months ago, I began having these really, really terrible nightmares. They went on every for about 4 months and not once did they improve in any way. It was the same shit over and over..." I stop, for gruesome images start to flash into my mind.
Dean nods his head furiously, urging for me to go on while Sam stares at me with pure curiosity.

"I dreamed of a man. Maybe in his mid or late-twenties. He had dirty blond hair, green eyes, fair skin. This man... he was all I saw, every night. I had to watch him get endlessly tortured by some disgusting demon-like character every night. Nothing truly progressed. I had to witness the happenings in a first point of view and the worst part of it all was that I couldn't do or say anything to stop it. I was powerless," I inhale deeply.

"Finally they ended after 4 months. It's been two weeks since then but... um... I had another one the night before last. The night before I uh, met you two. Maybe I can't tell you why I'm having these nightmares, and trust me, I've tried finding out, but what I do know is that I can't have had them for no damn reason. Something's up."

Once I finish, I fold my arms over my chest and lean into my chair, awaiting their verdict. The apprehension that I once so strongly held disappearing and replaced by a more comfortingly satisfying weight.

"Wow..." Is all Sam musters before Dean suddenly stands from his chair and storms out. I wince as he slams the door, the impact so great that the wall shakes for a brief moment of time. Sam glances at me and smiles apologetically.

"I should go talk to him. I'll be right back," he says as he strands up and jogs after his fuming brother.

I don't know how long I stared at the closed door after he left but all I can think about is how completely and entirely fucked I am.