Sullen Girl

Two weeks of that hellhole and I was able to pay off ton of my bills, it’s scary how that works. Men are truly disgusting men, but I suppose I should be happy that they are. I mean they are technically helping me pay the bills, right? My first night there I was a nervous wreck and yet I got the most out of all the girls, to which wasn’t a surprise to them but certainly for me it was.

“You’re a rookie, kid. They like the new meat.” The girl named Coco onstage said with a wide smile; I wish she wouldn’t smile so big. She looked like the joker when she did that and it gives me the creeps.

“Oh.” I mumbled as I was holding the robe to my body as if it was my second skin.

“But you do know how to dance too, so I’m sure you’ll keep getting more money.” She continued as I just noticed she was in just a thong, I flushed trying my best to not stare at anything exposed but almost every girl was half naked.

“We hope not.” A blonde hair girl name Winters said walking passed me with a look of a glare, I know because I give it to people often, it’s not a huge display look of emotions, it’s just a glare that was meant for her to see but she didn’t notice I saw, and she didn’t notice Coco noticed either.

“You need to sit your little punk ass down; sorry your white ass can’t dance.” She snapped with such much venom in her voice, it startled me.

“I was just-“

“You were just saying nothing honey!” She growled and this made me uncomfortable. “Don’t be picking on our new girl, you aint freash meat no more so shut up.”

“Was she ever fresh meat?” the girl beside me said with laughter coming out of her voice, I looked over at her and she was beautiful and also half naked.

“Shut the fuck up, Misty!” Winters screamed over at “Misty” making the red headed girl to turn and give a glare to Winters.

I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be here. I thought to myself as I just hurried up and threw on some clothes and sprinted out of there so fast, as the girls kept fighting with each other.
Fuck…

They fought non-stop, I’ve noticed that Coco aka Joker she was like the mother hen of the group but she herself didn’t even like Winters. I had no real opinion on her though because she just seems angry that I came along and I am angry at myself for the same reasons.

“Hey you look tired.” The accent bounced around the walls of the restaurant and I felt myself smiling, as I looked up to see Lucas.

“Yeah. The second job you know.” I shrugged my shoulders and I was in pain, still have black and blues up and down my body.

“Right. How’s that going?” He asked nursing his black coffee; he’s been sitting here for a while I could tell from the coffee.

“Hm.” I said before nibbling on my lower lip. “Okay I suppose.” My mind slipped into the first night of the girls fighting and I rolled my eyes causing him to laugh, his laughter was like liquid velvet, and instantly made me feel better about myself.

“I sense it’s been a hard two weeks.” He said softly as I shrugged my shoulders. “It’s supposed to snow tonight.”

“I heard.” I did from the girls and they were complaining about how slow it was that they normally drink if it’s too slow and then go home wasted, but I’d rather not drink. I don’t drink I think it’s pointless and reckless. Anything could happen to you when you’re drunk, I’d rather be able to know what’s going to happen.

“Do you need a ride home?” I looked up at Lucas with I hope was not wide eye look, Lucas did not scare me. Not…always. But it was still morning going into the afternoon and it wasn’t even bothering to snow. Also, no. He can’t know where I am working.

“No. I’m okay, I like to walk in the snow.”

I wasn’t too sure how great that lie sounded because it was not truthful at all, I hate the snow, I hate walking in it, I even hate the idea of the snow. It’s only pretty when it first lands on the grounds but it gets dirty and disgusting….just like everything else in this world, just like me.

“Hmm.” He said and his eyes in the first time we’ve met were studying me and I wanted to crawl in a hole and die. “I doubt that, you’re skin and bones.”

True.

“So?”

“You have nothing on your body to keep you warm, and you always wear that light jacket.”

True. It was safer to wear that jacket.

“So?” He smiled over at me and I felt my heart panged as I saw the crinkles around his eyes and his crooked teeth. I noticed he was insecure about his teeth, he barely showed them at all, when he smiled it was always tightlipped or just mouth was close but he started to show his teeth to me more often than the other girls here, that crave for this man’s attention.

“Olivia. Do you really want to walk in the snow tonight? When it’s freezing out there.”

No. But he didn’t need to know that. I’m sure I could ask the girls for a ride or something though maybe they’ll be too wasted, so they’d probably walked home. How stupid and reckless…

“I’ll be okay.” I said softly as I poured him some more coffee and he sent me a smile but then he dropped a bit and he looked like he was thinking.

“Liv, it’s not safe for a girl to be walking home at night.”

I know. Trust me. I know.

~~*~

It did snowed, it snowed enough that only four men came and only two of the girls danced because the owner said it was getting bad out there, and kicked everyone out. Even the girls, so I guess there goes their drinking fun, and there goes my make up that I wasted on myself and my hair was perfect for no reason.

“See you later, baby.” Coco said hugging me and giving me a kiss on the cheek, I would have cringed but Coco has been doing this for two weeks now and I’m slowly getting used to it. I watched her walk towards a car that was already on, I barely got to see the man in the car. Coco is known to be married, and her husband doesn’t mind her doing the stripping game, which I found really strange but I guess some people don’t mind sex business as much as I thought they would be. I think it’s nice that they have a comfortable relationship like that.

I sighed as I saw the other girls going to their cars or going into cars with friends and boyfriends and yet I was walking home. I hate being poor, I’m going to have to save for a car sooner or later, or these walks to my house in the snow are going to be a thing. I sighed at the thought of it, I really hated the snow and it was just piling up there. This night though I did wear a heavier jacket because Lucas was right, I did tend to wear my light jacket all the time, even when it was cold outside but since this job is on the other side of town from where my apartment is, I might as well just get used to wearing a heavier jacket.

I didn’t like walking around this part of the town because there were so many bars down this way, anyone could really see you down here. You have to worry about drunken people and their stupid actions; you also have to hear them talk about things that they would never say sober, and puke all over town. It was horrid. The smell of puke is horrid but the act of puking is even worse. It always looks like the person is dying as the kneel over in pain, just yanking out whatever comes out, and yellow is the worse color I’ve seen of puke. The idea of seeing this tonight bothers me so I sprinted down the block as fast as I could, but the laughter of men almost made me stop. Almost but it made me walk faster until I felt a hand on my arm, and automatically I screamed out.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” I heard while I was screaming and it was a little too late to register the accent when I turn to punch said person the face but they blocked my right hook. “Relax, Olivia.” He said as I stared at him wide eye, filled with fear I could tell because my heart was racing, and my mind was screaming at me to run, hide, to bite and attack. He let go of my arm as I was breathing heavy with fear and he sent me a soft look. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” I said with a tremble in my voice, and he sent me a small boyish smile. “it’s okay.” I said sounding stronger now.

“What are you doing out here?” he asked as I balled my hand into a fist and let the nails dig harshly into my skin.

“I work out here.” I mumbled as he nodded his head. “What are you doing out here?” He laughed and it was a bit loud but it still made me feel a lot more comfortable than his hand on my arm.

“Work, as well. Do you wanna come inside and sit with us? I brought my truck so I could drive you home.”

Uh. Uh. Uh. I wasn’t too sure if I was saying that a lot but the look on his face and his friend face made it seem like I did.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to.”He said and I thought about it, the snow was piling up and I couldn't handle someone else trying to touch me.

“No okay, I’ll come in.” I said and he smiled at me as I smiled back at him, he quickly flicked his cigarette away and opened the door for me, he made sure not to make contact with me.

Bless him. I thought but I felt like I was dying, this bar was packed and I’m in it.

Fuck fuck fuck.