Sullen Girl

Honey has been a constant kind of like Lucas expect she’s more in my life than ever, and she knows a bit more than Lucas does but really Lucas knows the important parts of my life. That I wish was hidden better, maybe that’s why I’ve been sending more time with Honey. Not because Lucas said he liked her, I wasn’t here for approval but because she didn’t know my dark past.

Honey been staying over my house more often than she’s been staying in her own home and it’s not as annoying as I thought it would be. She would stay on my couch most days and just watch tv with me. Some days we don’t even speak even though I know Honey is bursting at the seams. She’s very bubbly and lively as to me who wasn’t; she liked talking being a social butterfly. I sometimes feel like I am not worthy her company she deserves better.

“Why are you so sad all the time?” Honey asked not looking over to me but I just stared at her with my jaw slacked.

“I’m not sad.” I said a bit hotly holding back the glare at her; she slowly turned her head to look at me with a perked eyebrow.

“Okay maybe sad was too strong” Right, she’s right it is too strong. “Melancholy why are you so melancholy?”

I didn’t know what to say to her as I looked at her with furrowed eyebrows as she just stared back at me. This wasn’t how I wanted to spend my Sunday off but I guess we don’t always get what we want in this world. I just kept blinking over to her as she just kept her eye contact on me.

“Okay I get it, you don’t have to tell me now or even a year from now but I want to know why you’re sad. I just- I think you should be happy.”

“I am happy.”

She shot me a look then rolled her eyes over to me which was a little rude. “When was the last time you actually smiled?”

I didn’t say anything as she nodded her head over to me but honestly what does happiness have to deal with smiling? I wasn’t too sure but Honey is probably just judging me because I am not as bubbly as her and honestly she has no right. Not everyone is going to be perky and smiley all the time because if we were all the same we’d be a boring world.

“Listen I didn’t mean to get you angry but you don’t have to lie to me. You’re unhappy and that’s fine a lot of people are unhappy. This world is filled with unhappy people and really who can blame them? Look at society and look at what’s happening out there. So you can be unhappy it’s healthy to be unhappy but I just don’t want you to be unhappy. It hurts my soul to see you like this to tell you the truth. “

“Why do you care?” It came out of me before I could stop it as Honey eyes widen a bit before she bit on her lower lip.

“Because I too was so unhappy with life before I became who I am now. I was so unhappy I tried to commit suicide, I tried to burn myself. I did so many things that I am glad today I saw the light. Yeah life sucks and it may not be roses and rainbows all the time but once you got great people in your life it’s not so bad.”

“You know.” I said looking back over to Honey with pursed lips. “I am not something you can fix. You can’t fix me so if that’s why you’re here you can simply leave because I-“

“I didn’t say that.” Honey said quickly looking over at me with no judgement just wide eyes of beauty. “I may have over step my boundaries I am sorry. That wasn’t my intention you know.”

I didn’t say anything as I stared off towards the tv causing her to sigh deeply, she got up from the couch making me panic. Why was she leaving? I didn’t want this; yes she was annoying me but this wasn’t what I wanted. I didn’t want her to leave me, she could stay.

“Where are you going?” I asked still keeping my eyes on the tv trying to hold back all the emotions that I was having.

“I think it’s wise of we stay apart for a day…you’ll see me at work tomorrow.” She said with a warm smile I glanced over to her with furrowed eyebrows. “It’s just a day…we’ve spend too much time with each other.”

“I just- I’m sorry.” I blurted out I had too she couldn’t leave not now she stopped to look at me with a softer smile.

“I know it’s just you need time to think.”

“I-“

“You do.” Honey walked over to me giving me a kiss on the forehead. “Don’t do anything too rash darling.”

That was it she was out of my apartment so quickly and I felt alone. There was no warmth, no lightness just the same old life from before. My apartment suddenly felt too big and cold, I needed to get out. I looked over to Micky with a worried glance but he was lying in the window still with no care in the world. I sighed getting up quickly from my couch. I needed to get out of there; it’s changed my safe place is now filled with memories of Honey. Honey being sweet and kind, Honey helping me through my shit now it’s a pale shadow of what it used to be.

As soon as I ran outside I felt the cold air cut into me causing me to cry out, I didn’t dress prepared for this. I needed something different than what left me so if pain was it then so be it. As I was running down my street with the idea of pain consuming me I felt hands on my waist slamming me into a wall. I cried out as quickly as I could but a hand was over my mouth, instantly I felt my throat closing up and my eyes filled with tears.

“Still so pretty after all these years.” Kyle said against my cheek next to his fingers that were pressing onto my skin deeply. “I can’t believe it my sweet little Olivia still shining bright as ever.”

I stood still I didn’t know what to do as the tears silently rolled down my face.

“Funny it’s just us like old times, no one else here to ruin our time together.” He pushed himself between my legs as I let out a whine. “ Sound so good to me.”

“Please.” I begged because that’s all I had left to do. “Please let me go.”

“You think I would do it here?” he asked pushing back my hair giving me a kiss on my neck sucking deeply as I sent out a gasp. “My dick would fall off before it got into you so no Olivia, I’ll wait. I know where you live now.” He said with a smirk giving me a kiss on the lips before letting me go. He walked off with a smug look on his face as I watched in fear.

I puked four times and instantly ran home bolting my doors lock.