Put Your Flowers Down

The thing about Patience is, that, overall, Jack likes her. Every time he's met her, she has donned the disheveled, aloof sort of look; like before every fancy party she'd just woken up at 6 pm and decided, 'yeah, I guess I'll go.' Her makeup is always just the right kind of messy, dark circles under her eyes that give her a strange sort of command for a girl who's barely five foot four. She wears terrifying high heels with spikes on them and expensive-looking black dresses, and she tucks unlit cigarettes behind her right ear (or at least, she says they're cigarettes).

She's shockingly intelligent about economics for a girl who makes her living as a model, and she's an impressively optimistic women's rights activist. "I don't hate men, I hate the patriarchy," she says when asked, shrugging her shoulders and examining her nails- always painted in some bizarre fashion (lately, eyeballs)- like it doesn't matter much to her either way, even though Jack's seen her at rallies bearing signs that say things like 'My Sex Life Doesn't Determine My Self-Worth!' and 'My Body is Not Public Property!' on a near weekly basis.

Patience is the kind of girl who demands attention. Not by her own choice- actually, Jack has never seen someone look so genuinely annoyed at flirting and compliments as Patience often is. She just walks into a room and takes all of the space out of it in a way that's nearly bewitching to anyone who's ever been attracted to girls. Jack's never really wanted to fuck her, though. If anything he's wanted to be her. Just to, you know. See what it's like.

And it's not weird, okay? If he admits it, it comes down to the fact that he's just sort of... jealous of her, or at least of the way she manages to capture peoples' attention and fascinate them without ever trying. Jack can hardly hold his own attention, let alone anyone else's. He imagines it'd be a welcome change.

So that's why he's just a little bit put-out about Patience being the one to bet on Alex. He's not mad, necessarily, and it'd be dumb to actually be jealous when the reason she's betting is so Alex doesn't have to go on the date in the first place. It's just- if there's going to be a girl who Alex is interested in, it'd probably be Patience.

Either way, Jack is an adult and a (very, very, occasionally) mature person, so he knows when his concerns are stupid and he's overreacting. Like he mentioned, he likes Patience. He really does. And he's not going to make things more complicated for everyone else by letting some sort of weird, teenage girl... rivalry sort of thing get the better of him.

--

The thing about Patience is that, overall, Alex likes her, but also overall, he is terrified of her. Every time Alex has met Patience, everything about her has seemed messy- at least, everything besides her eternal, immaculately done red lipstick.

Alex likes that Patience is smart, and he thinks her activism for women is cool; he's glad for her passion for what is definitely a good cause. She's never been rude to him, or Jack, or really anyone unless they make some sort of misogynistic comment, and Alex likes her.

He still is unbelievably scared of her, though, and that's why he voices this opinion to Keller the next time she drags him out on a run (because god knows she won't be able to get Jack to go with her. Alex is much more vulnerable to Keller. He's scared of her, too).

"So, um, Patience," he says, trying to hide how out of shape he is in his voice, not wanting running to be just another thing Keller is better at than him, but of course it happens anyway. Keller runs like she's being chased for someone whose legs are so thin. It's really quite disgusting (her speed, not her legs). "She's on board, with, you know, the plan, yeah?"

Keller nods, pulling up her shirt to wipe at a sheen of sweat collecting on her forehead. Her stomach is perfectly flat with that one distinct line of the start of abs that screams 'athletic' and Alex loathes her, really. "Yeah. Yeah, she's on board. Why? You freaking out?"

"Little bit," Alex admits (although little bit is an understatement, Keller doesn't have to know that), checking his watch. They've only been running for 30 minutes? He hates this. "This whole idea just puts me off."

Keller snorts. How she has enough energy to do it in the first place is completely beyond Alex. "Everything puts you off," she says, rolling her eyes. "Just relax, eat the expensive food the auction has to offer, and soon enough it'll be over. You stand on a fucking stage for a living, I don't know why this is different. You don't even have to sing for this, either, you just have to stand and remain mildly sentient, maybe smile. Seriously, it's genuinely beyond me why you're being such a little bitch about this."

"Because it's weird!" Alex insists.

"It's a little weird," Keller agrees, "but so is running to keep in shape for sex, and you don't see that stopping me."

"Is that what this- Jesus Christ, Kell, is this sexercise? I am a good Christian boy, I do not sexercise!" Alex hisses, a little too loudly if the stares that he gets from people around the park is anything to go by.

Keller cracks up. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Although sometimes sex with Zach does get a little bit taxing. He really throws his back into it," she says thoughtfully, while Alex mimes throwing up.

"I know way more about your sex life than is truly fair," Alex says sadly.

They've reached a stoplight, so they stop running. Keller still jogs in place because she's possibly, definitely, clinically insane. Keller pats Alex's shoulder. "I know, buddy, I know."

-----

"I still can't believe Flyzik is pimping us out," Alex says that night, huddled up on the couch under about five blankets and three pillows while Jack queues up some TV show that they've been being told to watch for months.

"For charity," Jack adds cheerfully, taking his spot next to Alex and pressing play.

Alex shrugs and swirls around his beer in the bottom of the bottle, looking down in it. It's some kind of weird grapefruit ale of which Keller gave a six-pack of to him as a gift a few months back and now every time she comes over he's paranoid she's going to look in the fridge and notice neither Jack or Alex, who have never turned down in a drink in their life, have yet to drink her weird fruity beer. "Yeah, for charity, but like- there's gotta be a better way, you know?"

Jack tells him to shut up and watch the TV show, but he also smiles a little fondly and curls in a little closer to Alex on the couch.

-----

Alex realizes, sitting on the couch, that Jack brings up yet another issue with the auction. And that issue is that Alex really, really doesn't want to see Jack go on a date with anybody else, even if it's just for one night and he's being forced to.

Which, alright, fine, definitely sounds a little stupid and impractical, and Alex isn't possessive or anything, okay? No matter what Zach will tell you. He's not a credible source. He lets himself dwell on this problem for a little bit before he realizes that it's not really something he can fix in any logical way. But still, he can't shake the feeling that this isn't going to go over well.