Put Your Flowers Down

The next morning, Alex calls Patience. He doesn't typically like phone calls, even with people he knows (Jack being the exception, as he usually is), and listening to the phone ring and ring and ring without an answer has got him on edge.

Right when he's convinced himself Patience is busy and isn't going to pick up, of fucking course she answers that very second and scares the shit out of him-- because nothing can ever just work out nicely for Alex, he's learned that the hard way.

"Patience Klepacka speaking, may I ask who's calling?" she says, her voice as lofty and self-assured as ever, the slight remnants of her Russian accent clipping the ends of her words. Alex nearly has a heart attack.

"Uh, yeah, this is Alex? Um, Gaskarth? Keller said she called you, about the, uh, auction. And I just want you to know that you're doing me a really big favor? And I really appreciate it, I'm totally going to buy you, like, a chocolate basket or something." Do scary Russian models eat chocolate? Fuck, he doesn't know. He hopes he hasn't offended her.

Patience just laughs, and it's a pretty, sort of tinkling sound- much different than Jack's obnoxious laughter, he notes. "It's okay, honestly. I'm getting out of a shoot I was dreading by coming to the auction, anyway. They've hired another model, I think, she's a pretty blonde French girl. They're gonna drape snakes around her naked form, though, so... It's for the best I'm not there, probably." There's a strange scraping sound coming from the background of the call. It sort of sounds like when his half-sisters file their nails. Is Patience filing her nails? Can she file her nails and still be listening to him? He hopes so, this is kind of serious.

"Um, oh, okay," Alex says, and then blanches. "Wait, but. I don't want to keep you from your job, shit, I'm sorry-"

"It's really fucking okay, seriously, I fucking hate snakes and I fucking hate the photographer that's doing the shoot. Mostly because I slept with him like, a lot, when I was 19, but. God, I'm just pretending it didn't happen, as I suppose most people want to forget about whoever they sleep with when they're 19... You know?"

"Jack and I have been together since we were 19," Alex says.

Patience cracks up, and then sort of squeaks- "Sorry, sorry, god, why did I laugh at that, that was so rude, sorry. More power to you, I guess, to be together that long but- honestly?"

"Yeah, honestly," Alex frowns.

"It's just- you haven't ever wanted anything else? You've never even been curious? It's college, nobody knows what they want in college, that's kind of the whole point. I changed my major three times in one year in college. Hell, I regularly wore clogs in college and thought I was going to study marine biology, how fucking granola. And now here I am, econ-major-turned-model, neither of which I saw for myself in my sophomore fucking year of college, jesus." Patience yawns. "Sorry, sorry. I shouldn't be criticizing your relationship. I'm sure it can work for some people to get together when they're still babies, but. How can you be so sure?"

"I've never thought about it? I've just always wanted Jack, there's never really been anyone else." Alex says, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Maybe you should think about it," Patience shrugs. The weird filing noise is back. It's sort of annoying. "Not that I'm into, like, ruining four year relationships or anything, because I'm not, jesus, it's awesome you're that committed but just like- seriously? Don't let someone you met in college control your whole life, Lex."

"Jack doesn't control my life," Alex says automatically. He feels very defensive all of a sudden. What the hell does Patience know? They've met all of three times. Three times in which he's liked her a lot, sure, but. Alex knows Jack, okay? He loves Jack. That's not something that's just a college phase, like an interest in marine biology or making questionable fashion choices. It's pretty fucking serious, and he's starting to get a little bit pissed off.

Patience is giggling on the other end of the line. "Okay, sure, buddy. You're fucking whipped. Guess it happens to even the best of us? Ah, shit, my manager's on the other line. I'm gonna have to talk to you later, yes? Do svidaniya!" she says, and fuck, did Patience just hang up on him in Russian? Jesus. French he could handle, but this is ridiculous. Keller needs to get better friends. Or maybe Alex needs to get better friends, if he's friends with Keller.

--

Jack spends the day with Keller, trying out some weird Japanese vegan place in Fell's Point that Keller's been raving about. Jack thinks it sounds kind of gross, but. Keller's paying, and he's never said no to free food, however strange tasting it may be.

They're sitting at a booth at the restaurant, picking at their food, when Keller says, "So, five years."

"Five years what?" Jack says through a bite of vegan sushi.

Keller makes a face at him and says, "Almost five years since you and Alex have been dating, jackass. You gonna do anything special?" she wiggles her eyebrows on the word special, and Jack sort of wants to die at the thought of Keller knowing absolutely anything about his sex life.

"Uh, no, I haven't really thought about it? I mean, Alex is kind of a sure thing, isn't he? We'll probably just get dinner, watch a movie back at the apartment or something."

Keller snorts. "Wow, um, first of all, 'sure thing'? Fucking hell, romance really is fucking dead. And second of all, what are you two, a forty year old married couple?"

"We've never really made huge gestures before, okay? I'm sorry my life isn't a fucking romantic comedy, jesus, Keller," Jack huffs. "And anyhow, not like you can talk, you and Zack just fuck all the time. Not exactly the height of Victorian romance."

"Oh, but it is romantic," Keller sighs. "Lots of rose petals and candles and-"

"Ew, honestly, what the hell!"

"Sorry, sorry, you walked straight into that one."

Jack can't even argue, he kind of did. "Fine." He takes a bite of sushi. "And anyhow, if you're so concerned about me and Alex's relationship, then what the fuck do you suggest we do?"

"I don't know," Keller shrugs. "Just show him you care. That you're still in this for the long run, you know? It's easy to get unsure of a relationship when it's been going on for as long as you and Alex have been together. Not that Alex is like, doubting you guys' freakishly long relationship, I'm sure. The guy's fuckin' whipped for you, although I can't imagine why; you're an idiot."

"Thanks, Kel, for the shining vote of confidence."

"Anytime, really, 's what I'm here for."

Jack rolls his eyes, and goes back to eating his strange tofu sushi, but. The seed's been planted, is all, and he can't help but let his thoughts go to some weird places. He's never really considered the fact that Alex might be getting bored of him or something, but it doesn't seem implausible. Five years is a really fucking long time; a lot of things can change in five years. A lot of things have changed in five years- Jack would like to think he's not the same idiot he was when he first started dating Alex. (He's a different idiot, but that's a completely unrelated issue to tackle at some other, drunker time). But, honestly- what if Alex is sick of him? What if he's looking for a way to let him down easy? What if he's going to leave him for some hot Russian model like Patience and they're going to run away together to Siberia and have beautiful, biologically possible children and--

"You're thinking too much," Keller says. "You get this weird constipated look. You okay?"

"Um, yeah, just zoning out," Jack says. "Definitely okay."